Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

Then you tell him his guests will no longer be staying and he can direct them to a hotel. I'd die on this hill me.

Partner B needs to stop inviting guests if he doesn't want to do any cleaning or tidying before and after. Your DP has some seriously low standards!

The only time I wouldn’t change it between guests is, for example, my dad stayed one night in it and then my brother the next. And I’d check with them that they didn’t mind although I know they’d be fine with it.

Anyone unrelated or longer than one night then absolutely definitely it must be changed.

So glad you were Partner A, OP! That’s gross and I live in a super untidy house. I might not get the dusting done all the time but by god, guests get clean bedding/towels and I wash up and do a quick clean of the surfaces every night before going to bed, never mind before the flipping next set of guests come round (I’m a ‘leave this parcel unopened on the Welsh dresser for six weeks and the paperwork on the table for months’ kinda untidy, but daily stuff gets sorted every day). I’ve had friends who felt like that, though, and it was never massively pleasant staying over with them.

This^

I’m on your team….!

That’s fucking minging. I hope he tells his guests that someone else has slept in the bed first. He needs to read some of the threads on here about husbands leaving shit stains on sheets if he thinks it’s alright. I’d rather sleep in my car than in someone else’s unwashed sheets.

Wash it? You sound grim. Isn't that sort of thing what DFS is for?

We have friends who I'm 99% sure do this so we end up sleeping in the bed their parents have slept in. It is grim and I've avoided going back. If the house was messy I wouldn't judge- but the sheets is so unhygienic it feels totally disrespectful.

Yes I've slept in a bed my sister in law had slept in one night a few days earlier, with clean pillowcases. We both wear bedclothes and she's a very clean person.

I would definitely want clean pillowcases though.

Hope you both are sharing the jobs, and not just one partying, and making a pile in the kitchen sink.

How do you wash the coverless duvets??

Omg.

We have guests stay frequently. Often only one night. Never in a million years would we not change the beds between each set of guests, clean the room and guest bathroom with fresh towels. Shuddering at the thought of anything less.

of course it needs changed. If the beds were stripped and you would leave the fresh bedding, as a guest I wouldn't mind to make the bed myself and strip it when leaving.

YANBU.
My only caveat is that we treat close family slightly differently. My dad needs an overnight cater if my mum goes away, so my sister and I take turns. We obviously don’t strip the bed and do the laundry every day just for each other. It’s enough for us to juggle our own families, work and kids without adding unnecessary extras into the mix.

Is your DH happy to sleep in used bedding of strangers?

Definitely needs washing. Ask guest's to strip the bed before they leave leave clean bedding on the bed for the guest to make the bed up themselves. Your not a hotel.

They just go in the washing machine and then tumble dryer or they line dry quickly.

I'm shocked by the number of people saying they don't change the sheets if family members will be the next guest. I love my family and they're clean but I don't want to sleep in someone's used sheets. This is why I don't like staying at other people's houses 🤣

I have a friend who stays once every couple of months. 2 maybe 3 stays (depending on length between them) I don’t change

i dont change straight away because of this but someone else absolutely

I couldn’t live with the potential drool on the pillow and the chat on another thread who said her stinky half slept naked

Obviously A is correct.

You can immediately smell when a pillowcase, sheet or duvet isn't clean and has been slept on already. There is a smell from someone else's hair/sweat/drool that I can immediately smell on a used pillowcase.

I'm no MN clean freak, but this is just basic hygiene isn't it?!?!

Absolutely gross to not give any guest clean bedding.

Yep.

To the OP's DH, if you are reading this, you are a lazy and disrespectful partner. It is NOT your wife's job to be doing everything for YOUR guests. Fucking get on with it, you manky twat.

Horrible not to change bed linen. I also don't understand why having close relation sleep in used sheets, as proposed by so posters is OK. And no, asking them if they're bothered is not OK as it puts them on the spot.

I once stayed over at a rel's house and had to sleep in a bed someone else had used. I wasn't told. It smelled. Bleurghhhhhh.

Me too

But you shared a womb ?

They aren’t on the spot if you have a good enough relationship with your mum and sister. Etc. my sister would absolutely say if she wasn’t happy, lol. Anyway - despite what I said earlier I actually do always change the pillowcase regardless.