Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give way on dual carriageway?

113 replies

Cheerstoyoutoo · 30/05/2024 15:24

So I’m driving down the dual carriageway in the left lane and there’s a car waiting to turn into the lane I’m driving on although it’s not a slip road or anything, it’s just a straightforward juction so the car was stationary indicating left and waiting to turn. I continued to drive but I think they expected me to move over for them as I got the finger, flash, etc. I always move over where possible for cars merging via the slip roads but this wasn’t the set up here. The car is question turned after I and the car behind me passed so it’s not like they were even waiting very long. I’m a really nervous driver following a collision some months ago so I tend to avoid changing lanes unnecessarily but it got me wondering should I have moved in this scenario? Thanks.

OP posts:
Dreamlight · 30/05/2024 15:27

As long as the outside lane was clear I would have pulled out in these circumstances, just as a common courtesy. That being said you were not wrong to stay in your lane!

ByCupidStunt · 30/05/2024 15:27

The polite and helpful thing to do would have been to pull over it's not a legal requirement though.

Sirzy · 30/05/2024 15:27

They were rude but I think if you can move safely over to let them enter it’s nicer!

being so nervous you avoid changing lanes doesn’t sound good when driving so I would look to tackle that personally.

Pootles34 · 30/05/2024 15:27

That's really bizarre, especially as there was a car behind you so he wouldn't have been able to pull out anyway, even if you did let him out? Wierdo.

ByCupidStunt · 30/05/2024 15:28

Pootles34 · 30/05/2024 15:27

That's really bizarre, especially as there was a car behind you so he wouldn't have been able to pull out anyway, even if you did let him out? Wierdo.

Nah! he just wanted to make sure it was a woman driving before he flipped his finger at her

smooththecat · 30/05/2024 15:28

People expect you to pull over but it’s on them to give way. The expectation can be dangerous on motorways etc. as people can’t always judge whether it’s safe for you to pull over but they assume you will.

PippyLongTits · 30/05/2024 15:29

Continuing to drive was the right course of action. You have right of way and a responsibility to the person behind you to keep the flow of traffic moving. The other driver can come onto the road when there is a gap in traffic and when it is safe for them to do so.

Original poster
Cheerstoyoutoo · 30/05/2024 15:32

Sirzy · 30/05/2024 15:27

They were rude but I think if you can move safely over to let them enter it’s nicer!

being so nervous you avoid changing lanes doesn’t sound good when driving so I would look to tackle that personally.

Yeah, it’s a weird feeling. I just feel like I’m in a constant state of hypervigilance whilst driving especially when DD is in the car with me. I have thought about trying to do the pass plus as only passed two year ago. I will change lanes when I really have to, I just tend to avoid it. Also hate overtaking too.

OP posts:
sanogo · 30/05/2024 15:32

Pootles34 · 30/05/2024 15:27

That's really bizarre, especially as there was a car behind you so he wouldn't have been able to pull out anyway, even if you did let him out? Wierdo.

He?

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 30/05/2024 15:33

ByCupidStunt · 30/05/2024 15:27

The polite and helpful thing to do would have been to pull over it's not a legal requirement though.

This. I try to make getting onto a road easier for others if I can, it's just a nice thing to do. But I wouldn't get worked up if someone didn't do the same for me.

OnceICaughtACold · 30/05/2024 15:34

Definitely a good idea to do pass plus, or even just find a friendly instructor who will do a few confidence building lessons with you. I used to be a nervous driver and honestly getting over it was life changing.

On the original question - good to move over if safe to do so, absolutely not compulsory.

notintheseparts · 30/05/2024 15:40

I'm not sure how you could have had time to see he was giving you the "finger, flash etc" given that you would have been passing him going at least 40mph (I've not seen a dual carriageway with a lower limit) while he was stationary. You would only have been able to see him for a fraction of a second.
If you were actually only crawling along as there was congestion, then it would have been polite to slow down and let him out but not AFAIK a legal requirement.

MonsteraMama · 30/05/2024 15:44

I always get out of the way if I can, it's just the polite thing to do and it's very frustrating sitting at those junctions watching people pootle past in the inside lane with their head in the clouds when they could easily move over and let you out and just don't. He/she might've been waiting ages and you were the last straw. They were rude but from their perspective you were ignorant so 🤷‍♀️

CallThatCloudy · 30/05/2024 15:46

Don't think twice about it. He was wrong to expect you to change lanes.

YouveGotAFastCar · 30/05/2024 15:48

The polite thing to do is to move over, but his response was unwarranted.

That said; it doesn’t sound like you’re a safe driver at the moment if you’re afraid of changing lanes and overtaking. Those are necessary manoeuvres.

TheCompactPussycat · 30/05/2024 15:48

You don't have to move over but it would be polite to do so, and would show consideration and awareness of other road users.

Btrsun10 · 30/05/2024 15:52

Yes, it may have been "nice" to have done so but by not doing so you were in no way in the wrong and should definitely not feel bad about it.
I lived in Germany for a long time and driving there is so different. There is no guilt on people to drive nicely. There is however the onus to drive properly.
Sometimes, moving to be nice can cause an accident. Slowing to let someone out might be nice but it can cause an accident!

Original poster
Cheerstoyoutoo · 30/05/2024 16:28

notintheseparts · 30/05/2024 15:40

I'm not sure how you could have had time to see he was giving you the "finger, flash etc" given that you would have been passing him going at least 40mph (I've not seen a dual carriageway with a lower limit) while he was stationary. You would only have been able to see him for a fraction of a second.
If you were actually only crawling along as there was congestion, then it would have been polite to slow down and let him out but not AFAIK a legal requirement.

I was going 60mph and I clearly saw them give me the finger through the passenger window.

OP posts:
Lemonade2011 · 30/05/2024 16:44

I got this the other day, I’d moved over to merge off onto the next motorway and a stupid young lad with his friend in a white Audi started glaring at me etc there was no indication to suggest they wanted over to my lane. I think sometimes we are meant to be mind readers, I mean you’d think no one had added blinking indicators to vehicles to let others know their intentions.

i think some drivers are very entitled and think they can just drive how they like

Original poster
Cheerstoyoutoo · 30/05/2024 18:28

PippyLongTits · 30/05/2024 15:29

Continuing to drive was the right course of action. You have right of way and a responsibility to the person behind you to keep the flow of traffic moving. The other driver can come onto the road when there is a gap in traffic and when it is safe for them to do so.

Edited

That was my thinking. I just didn’t know people expected it… abit entitled really. I care more about being safe than being nice.

OP posts:
MessyHouseHappyHouse · 30/05/2024 18:30

You did the right thing OP.

There was no reason why he couldn’t have waited until the road was clear and therefore safe, before joining the carriageway. He was just another impatient arsehole, so don’t give it a second thought.

Original poster
Cheerstoyoutoo · 30/05/2024 18:33

YouveGotAFastCar · 30/05/2024 15:48

The polite thing to do is to move over, but his response was unwarranted.

That said; it doesn’t sound like you’re a safe driver at the moment if you’re afraid of changing lanes and overtaking. Those are necessary manoeuvres.

just wondering when overtaking is a necessary manoeuvre in your opinion though? I would overtake if someone was broken down in the road, or if it’s a dual carriageway and there’s a tractor or something. I don’t like overtaking on single carriageways but did so recently when someone had broken down although I am that car that sits behind a tractor at 40 unless ofcourse there’s an overtaking lane.

OP posts:
Porridgeislife · 30/05/2024 18:34

You were entirely in the right. People thinking they have to shift over is why motorways start slowing down around every junction point because people start losing the confidence to merge into traffic seamlessly. Giving way or moving over to people joining traffic is a peculiar UK habit I haven’t seen when driving on the continent or Australia/New Zealand/US/Canada.

category12 · 30/05/2024 18:39

I think you need to improve your confidence with lane-changes and over-taking.

You're not in the wrong, but you should feel confident enough in your judgement to be able to overtake a tractor where it's safe to do so.

bozzabollix · 30/05/2024 18:40

Driving instructor here. This worries me somewhat. Yes if you’re on a dual carriageway with a junction where somebody has to stop before joining you don’t need to move over. But a slip road joining does depend on people moving over to let others on, if one of my students couldn’t change lane then they certainly wouldn’t be competent enough to face a driving test. Being reluctant to change lane when it’s safe is dangerous.

If you only passed two years ago seek out your old instructor and pay for a lesson. It’ll take just the one and could save you from an accident. There’s no shame in going back for some help, I’d be happy to do that with any of my ex students, especially if they found themselves anxious about something. These things are easily fixed.