Do you believe couples are of similar attractiveness?

[Ceeeeee]

I'm sure people will reply saying their DH is way more attractive than them, but in general I do think this is true.

I know attraction and looks are completely subjective, however where there's a difference it's often that the man is more powerful/wealthy, e.g. Boris Johnson, Nicolas Sarkozy.

When referring to attractiveness, it's not just in looks but in salary, skills, talents and so on.

Honestly I rarely see a very beautiful, high-earning, successful talented woman with a man who's very average-looking and a lower earner or less going for him, even if he's kind or whatever. Nor do I see it the other way round.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I was speaking to a male friend and he told me he wouldn't date a woman who he considered out of his league as he'd feel threatened and insecure.

They quite often start off similar, but one might age differently from the other.

In my experience, conventionally attractive women are more likely to choose a less conventionally attractive man because he has other qualities - decent person, intelligent, witty, artistic, charismatic, successful.

It's far less common to see a conventionally attractive man with a conventionally unattractive woman.

Yes, I agree.
A woman I'm friendly with was rejected a few months back by a very 'average' man. He seemed nice enough, wouldn't say absolutely lovely, but polite.
He isn't particularly high earning, successful or talented. Doesn't have many hobbies other than footy and watching motorsports.
Anyway, his last girlfriend wasn't conventionally attractive at all and is very overweight. I know that will make me sound nasty and shallow.
My friend is a lovely person, really kind, talented and has a lot going for her, but clearly he clicked more with the other woman.

In general yes and particularly with younger couples when looks are a big part of the attraction.

I think also you are more likely to see women with a less obviously attractive man because he is rich or clever or funny or has social status which over-rules lack of physical attraction. You do sometimes see this the other way around but less so because I think men tend to be more shallow when young and they expect themselves to be the originator of the status credentials.

As people get older and more strategic in seeking a partner they tend to realise that there’s more to relationships than dating someone really hot or someone who will inspire envy, so people tend to become less shallow. Older couples are much less likely to be physically “matched”.

Yes I absolutely agree. Where the man is less attractive physically, he'll have money, power or status it seems.

I think for couples who are attractive/into exercise/grooming etc I think they are often similar levels of attractiveness & often similar backgrounds eg education/family etc.

I think it’s rarer to see a very beautiful man or woman with an equally beautiful partner. Obviously actual beautiful people are rare but you often see a beautiful women with a rich man & ime lots of male models have normal looking partners. I think they intimidate lots of women.

Anecdotally I know a man who looks like a thumb in a toupée and dresses like a teenage boy who has an absolutely drop dead gorgeous wife - genuinely madly in love, very happy relationship all told, similar levels of success and income so it's not like she's with him for money or status. Definitely makes people do a double take when they realise they're a couple. But when you actually see them together and see their chemistry you get it.

Typically though I think you're right, on average people do seem to couple up within their own attractiveness bubble so to speak, especially younger couples as a pp said.

I also think it’s a lot easier for women to be attractive than a man. Controversial but I really don’t see that many attractive men in the UK!

The description of him😂

Sound like a nice couple anyway, good for them

I agree, especially with all the grooming available to women.
I honestly think some people would reject someone they believe to be very out of their league, which is a shame but I feel they believe they'd be more comfortable with someone in their own league.
Like my friend was very talented in languages and music and stuff and I think the man was a bit in awe of her which is a shame.

IMO men's personalities make them attractive.

I'm not even attracted to 'attractive' men unless they're funny, charismatic, intelligent or kind. Having a top tier personality can go far in compensating for good looks.

IMO men's personalities make them attractive.

I think that’s true for both sexes, a friend is average looks wise but everyone at school, uni, work etc would fall for her because she’s so funny and charismatic.

I agree and it tends to even out as people mature but very young men often prioritise looks over everything else because they are concerned about the hit to their status if they are with a woman who is not conventionally attractive.

Thankfully most of them grow out of this but it’s definitely a thing.

I was always what the French would call a “jolie laird”, I am not conventionally beautiful but a lot of men found me attractive. I was told by a couple of men who I dated when I was a lot younger that I was hot and fun but not pretty. The implication being that they would have been in a committed relationship with me if they could have got past the hit to their status.

Wow, that’s mean!

In terms of physical attractiveness, yes. In most cases.

But attractiveness can mean different things to different people. In my experience the most frequent exception to this are couples in which very wealthy, high-status older men are in relationships with very attractive much younger women. Also, it’s not uncommon to see very average looking footballers with exceptionally attractive young women.

Thinking about the couples I know I have to go against the grain and say that the men in the relationship are more attractive than the females.

Maybe and it was hurtful but they were being honest. A lot of young men think like that about women.

In both cases they came crawling back some months later anyway so their loss.

I was lucky to avoid these types!

I did have a friend at college who kept her boyfriend secret because he wasn’t in the popular gang 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh, some men can be terrible. I had a man tell me that I wasn't ugly, but not hot either and that men would love to c*m on my face. Lovely.

I think this is spot on.

Yes, but not necessarily all physically. See ugly rich men with attractive wives. There's "something" that makes them attractive. Less obviously, there's the well presented wife of a moderately successful professional or someone with a lovely personality "punching".

Yes equally attractive but not necessarily equally physically attractive. DH is definitely better looking than me, but I am nicer. Well not nicer exactly but more sociable and easier to talk to.
Very few ugly, poor, old nasty men attractive beautiful, rich, young kind women or vice versa. But being super rich or handsome or kind can make up for other deficits.

round here it’s usually more attractive women with less attractive men 😆 I generally don’t see men with less attractive women and most men I know usually wouldn’t entertain doing this in dating, which is sad as women are expected to overlook ‘attractiveness’ in place of security etc.

Fabulously summed up by Joe Jackson- Is She Really Going Out With Him?

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street
From my window I'm staring while my coffee goes cold
Look over there (where?)
There, there's a lady that I used to know
She's married now, or engaged, or something, so I am told
Is she really going out with him?
Is she really gonna take him home tonight?
Is she really going out with him?
'Cause if my eyes don't deceive me
There's something going wrong around here

Yes, I agree OP. We are naturally attracted to 'those in our own league'. I don't fancy conventionally attractive men and I think it's because I'm not either! I also prefer a dad bod than lots of muscle. I used to be to be slim but not so much now!