Do you believe couples are of similar attractiveness?

[Ceeeeee]

I'm sure people will reply saying their DH is way more attractive than them, but in general I do think this is true.

I know attraction and looks are completely subjective, however where there's a difference it's often that the man is more powerful/wealthy, e.g. Boris Johnson, Nicolas Sarkozy.

When referring to attractiveness, it's not just in looks but in salary, skills, talents and so on.

Honestly I rarely see a very beautiful, high-earning, successful talented woman with a man who's very average-looking and a lower earner or less going for him, even if he's kind or whatever. Nor do I see it the other way round.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I was speaking to a male friend and he told me he wouldn't date a woman who he considered out of his league as he'd feel threatened and insecure.

It's very interesting. In our circle, some of the blokes who were youthful and attractive have aged significantly (we are all nearing 50) and really look quite old, and conversely their wives look significantly better. I think my husband and I are now similar, whereas when we met, I think he was maybe seen as the more attractive of us both? We were definitely in the middle though of our peers...

Yes this is backed up by science - it's called the matching pairs hypothesis.

People of similar attractiveness levels pair up, and when they don't, the less attractive partner brings something else to the table eg wealth, status etc.

Interesting whether this is different when couples meet when they are older. I suspect men can be more choosy the older they get, as women tend to live longer so there's more women available.

'Attractiveness' isn't just about looks.

I'm someone who would say my DH is (objectively speaking) very good looking, I was more 'girl next door'. He had more than his fair share of gorgeous girlfriends, one who was a model, before we got together but he was looking for more than looks in his life partner. I did have some insecurity about my looks vs previous girlfriends, his view was 'when you've woken up next to them a few times, it's not the looks that you see'.
Still together over 30 years later.

Women can easily wear make up/dye their hair to improve themselves.

Men can't. It makes a huge difference

Yes they can keep a healthy weight, dress well, good teeth etc but it can only go so far.

How can someone objectively be a 9 or a 6 though? What do we knock points off for? 😂

I find it interesting how all of the Premier League multi millionaire and very average looking footballers have gorgeous models by their sides

I don’t know.

my DH is very attractive, confident and charming. I’d say he’s quite far out of my “league” to be honest. I’m the higher earner (now) but wasn’t to begin with.

He tells me im beautiful every day but i do have eyes.

But when you get to 70 both look the same really, especially if they’ve been together for years.

Single women seem to look better then single men right into old age.

I just think you notice attractiveness more in youth because it’s, well youth.

It's frequently true but not always. I often see unattractive men with attractive women and no, the men aren't always rich. Much less often, I see men with less attractive women.

I might be over-generalising here, but I've noticed that men dating less attractive women tend to think their wives/girlfriends are gorgeous (perhaps they're drawn to a specific type), whereas I think women often give more weighting to their partner's other good qualities such as kindness and a good sense of humour.

But they didn't stay together. I doubt she'd ever say anything but you do wonder if she actually fancied him.

God, I read "Tony Robinson" as "Tommy" there 😲

Even if she objectively had more going for her than him, he’s still well within his rights to reject her. People aren’t tick boxes and there can be a number of reasons why some people ‘click’ and others don’t.

Average and unattractive people - yes. They generally are with people of around the same loose level.

Beautiful men tend to marry plain women.
Beautiful women tend to find the most troll looking male you’ve ever glimpsed at but they do tend to be intelligent.

I think it’s true for friends too .. similar levels of looks seem to group together .. people you feel a comfortable connection with..
Stunning model-esque friends would make me feel so self-conscious, inferior and like the poor relation! 😅😂

A friend was absolutely gorgeous at 19, got together with her now DH, who was definitely considered far less attractive than her back then!

Almost 30 years later, my friend is really scathing about her own looks (she's still beautiful but doesn't see it). She put on around 10 stone and she feels self conscious that people see her size before anything else. The 'what-are-you-doing-with-him?' DH later became a model, and just blossomed into an incredibly good looking man.

So now, people see a woman in her late 40's, around 20 stone, lacking confidence in how she looks, who is married to a successful male model. They probably look mismatched to many people, but they are just beautiful together. They are best friends, adore each other completely, and are a joy to be around.

I'm not that shallow or nosey enough to care

Well none of us on here or in the normal world will ever agree on what is good looking/attractive as or in men or women

but some people seem obsessed with looks and it is usually the first thing people mention when speaking of their children and ''I can't believe he cheated as she is good looking" like it works that way?

I have never meant any intelligent people obsessed with looks male or female