To think Brits dislike success?

[garlicmashpotatoes]

After many years of reading comments from posters on MumsNet and other forums, I get the impression that many Brits cannot stand to see people who have 'more than them' or achieve 'success' when they've worked hard to do so.

In America success is celebrated, and aspired to. Whereas in the UK it's often looked down upon.

Why?

Well yes, I think we have indeed established that we fundamentally disagree.

Exactly 👏👏

I would concur with the fact that many people who’s parents were immigrants (if you are brown or black often you started on the lowest rung not often doing professional well paid jobs) are often solidly middle class now through a lot of effort.

I don’t think it’s healthy to tell your kids that success (whatever that looks like) is entirely outside of your control, whats the point then? Why try if only people with big inheritances do well? That is belied by the number of people from humble beginnings who have managed to have children and grandchildren living much more comfortable lives than they did.

That's not what people are saying at all. You just don't want to understand.

Lol, okay.

Read all the replies again, it might suddenly become apparent.
Failing that I wish you well.

Financial success is generally resented in the UK and considered unfair.

Thats interesting, bit of psychic self protection going on there I think. It’s very hard to honestly address inequality or tackle issues if you won’t admit they exist. It’s very much easier to think it’s not a “thing” so you never have to a) consider your own luck b) do anything about those other people.

I do think one of the luckiest things that can happen to you is to be born clever and/or into a nice family.

I still think the Uk suffers from tall poppy syndrome though. Theres a difference between acknowledging that some people have an easier ride than others and actively tearing down anyone who leads a financially successful life and dismissing any efforts they may have made.

Thanks! I’m not inclined to play along with disingenuousness, so I’m just going to take the well wishes and enjoy the irony.

I give up.
I wasn't being disingenuous or ironic.

It has historically been considered petite bourgeoise if you are referencing the British upper class. The middle classes in the past were always the educated classes so it wasn’t just about money. Money could only get you so far.

This^

100% this. I despair at children being told the system is rigged against them.

My dad was brought over to the UK at 18 months from India. Everyone morning we were told “you can achieve anything you put your mind to in this country”. My grandmothers couldn’t read until their 70s and were spat on occasionally when working in their corner shops. They now have grandchildren flying planes and operating on hearts.

Children should be encouraged. Freedom is found through education. My children will never know the suffering experienced by previous generations. I want this for all children!

Your comprehension skills are lacking, it is ‘harder’ and more work than is handed to you, how can it not be?

Why do people do this? You were perfectly clear. Bringing up your disabled child now, in the context of this discussion, is a perfect example of what the Op is talking about and reflects badly on you.

Poster 1: I have worked hard and had to overcome educational and financial challenges

Poster 2: I have a disabled child.

Make it make sense.

Yes. It’s why we have one of the highest state dependencies in the western world. No-one wants to do anything for themselves, happy to drag everyone else down to pay for them as well. Entitlement is off the charts and no-one thinks they need to better themselves because someone else will pay for them. Fair society has morphed into huge state reliance. In more ways than one. The hysteria over Covid was mad.

I agree with you about the importance of education but I wasn’t brought up to believe that success equates to wealth. I was also brought up by people who were probably considered the Political class and democracy, meritocracy and freedom were at the heart of that message.

I suspect the state dependency thing is more a result of the fact that our economy is so weak thanks to government austerity and brexit, so that people can be in full time jobs and still need state support rather than the British not celebrating sone kinds of success

Honestly people are no reluctant to get a better job because they are scared of success - there just are not well paid jobs to be had

It is isn't it. Emotions are a blessing and a curse. We are all capable of jealousy at times but you would go over and try to make those parents feel bad they have children or only focus on penalising them if there were widescale problems, to the exclusion of all other issues? I suspect not.

I agree with this.
I think people who say the UK does not celebrate success tend to have a chip on their shoulder.
No we will not want to be friends with you and think you are admirable just because you have money. There is a certain kind of person who thinks others should admire just because they have money and if people do not, think it is because of jealousy. They never seem to consider that maybe they are just not a nice person, so of course people do not admire them.

Because in the UK having more has nothing to do with working hard.
Occasionally it's due to natural talent
Most often there is significant leg up from parents....either nepotism, inheritance or just private education and deposit for a house.
Lots of people work exceedingly hard and still have significantly less than others who definitely don't.

People in the UK have nothing against success, we just don't celebrate it when it's not necessarily deserved or earned. And hopefully we value other attributes.

Look at the people who live in my area
People with children my age.....but are themselves 10yrs older.
They benefitted from university education with no fees (although when university was harder to get into admittedly) which got them good jobs with good pensions
They bought houses before the market exploded.
They have the same job as me but will retire younger with more money, they have paid off their mortgage and live in very valuable houses, they can afford private education for their children.
Did I mention they have the same job/income as me? I worked and still work just as hard, am just as successful.
I don't resent them...but they are not more successful, just lucky to be born 10yrs earlier.

How so? Perhaps if I said someone else working harder to achieve the same (comparing like for like, rather than cleaner and stockbroker) sans any advantages, isn’t in fact working harder you’d have a point, but I didn’t.

Yes, some people have to work harder in order to achieve the same as someone else that has benefited from an advantage. Does that mean that the person that has benefited from the advantage hasn’t also worked hard? No.

My original point was that a stockbroker saying they’ve worked hard isn’t saying that a cleaner doesn’t. We all know that different fields pay different wages - again, Capitalism. That the cleaner doesn’t command the same wage doesn’t somehow negate the hard work put in by the stockbroker in their chosen field, and their saying they’ve worked hard is just that, it’s not commentary on the cleaner.

If the cleaner and stockbroker both work hard why does anyone need to say it? It's brought out as justification when it's not

It doesn’t reflect badly on me at all. I shouldn’t need to go in to personal details to explain something that is quite clear. Whether you like it or not, luck does very much play a part in all aspect of life.

Being born in a ‘rich’ county is lucky compared to people born in countries where they have no running water.

Being born in to a supportive family with a stable home life is lucky

Having a higher IQ is luckier than having a lower IQ

and the list goes on!!