Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

YANBU OP, its ignorant at best. As are a lot of these responses.

Meant to add I’m disappointed but not all together surprised to see it’s an HR event. They are often oblivious to real live DEI problems, it’s one reason Stonewall has been so successful in infiltrating HR depts they come along and say that if the company pays them lots of money and does exactly as they say the hr dept will go on a list as an exemplary DEI employer

Fucking hell at some of these comments OP! I completely understand where you are coming from. If as you say they’re a nice bunch of colleagues, then it is most likely lack of thought/ unconscious bias. I definitely think you need to say something though. I would just be honest. Is there a particular person leading on organising the event or is it a group effort? If it is a group it could be a message/email to all, if it is one person maybe a face to face chat. I would just explain why it is a bad idea as you have in your post and make the suggestion of agreeing on an alternative icebreaker.

It could be worse OP... This chap was the only black guy at a work event held at a former slave plantation. They were told to dress up, so he and his wife did. Pic links at top of story.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wcstm8/company_throws_a_corporate_retreat_at_a/?rdt=41505

Not necessarily, that would be the case if there was an even playing field, but if good ethnic minority candidates are being overlooked by other companies you may have a greater proportion of good ethnic minority candidates to non ethnic candidates to chose from

I don't see anything wrong with it? We did the same activity. I'm the only blonde and pale member of staff, and everyone recognised me instantly. It doesn't matter, its an ice breaker. It's a bit of fun, why bring race into it?!

JFC @Beautiful3 Are you for real?

I would raise this issue with the organisers. I am white so cannot compare to the discrimination you face on a daily basis and you are a clear example of the issues this type of thing can raise. I am adopted so do not have any photos of me as a baby so would need to submit one of me age around 6 years old. I too would feel uncomfortable having an 'odd one out' photo and the questions it would raise about why I didn't have a baby photo.

It is probably not intentional but just an clear example of how we do not consider inclusivity and how others may feel. The organisers may not realise there is so little diversity in your organisation.

Because it’s very different from hair and eye colour. And if you don’t understand that then you have an awful lot to learn.

Maybe just listen to what you’re being told. If you see nothing wrong with it then you absolutely need to listen, learn and simply accept what you’re being told.

Loving the posters saying you are overreacting about this. I'm white and yeah I wouldn't have seen a problem with this until we all whipped out our photographs and it became glaringly obvious what had just happened. Here we have someone posting about something that is going to put them in an uncomfortable position and I would hate for one of my colleagues to feel like this. I hate all this ice breaker bollocks anyway because all they do is cause unnecessary stress and who the fuck wants to look at over a hundred baby photos anyway.

Careful, The PP might be an HR director.

A horrible situation for you OP ... And also all icebreakers are total wank.

Again, it depends where your workplace is located. An office in Southall I would expect to have mainly Asian/Indian employees. An office in the Scottish highlands, you’d be lucky to get one BAME employee. And that’s ok, as it’s representative of the general population.

Which came first, the casual racism or the lack of diversity in the office?

Some really weird replies on this thread.

No - it is not ok and not "fun" to slip some casual racism and othering into a work event. It's also potentially othering to other people, as well as the OP and other posters have given some good examples of this.

My first reaction was that you were overreacting - it's a very common ice-breaker that I personally find stupid but hey. And no one in my workplace has ever raised an issue before, whatever their ethnicity.

That said, we are having a lot of talks about EDI, and if someone from my team had a problem with it I would definitely try to understand their concerns. I think the key point here is you being singled out.

I would raise the fact that you are uncomfortable about this request to your manager, and frame it within the context of the EDI training you've had.

I think it's lack of thought. Hope you find a resolution OP.

I agree with you that this is a terrible idea. I’d also be very obvious because I have very distinctive limb deformities. The same would be true of someone with a facial difference.
You could also potentially get a person who has a GRC and doesn’t want their colleagues to see them in their previous “persona”.
The whole thing is an absolute minefield and I’d definitely say something about it before it goes ahead.

I'm shocked at the minimising comments OP. People are clueless. Absolutely clueless. I'm white. The level of ignorance is shocking.

Maybe you could email 'do you actually need me to come and talk to you about the complete lack of forethought or consideration of me when setting this task?'. Unless you feel you want to speak and be heard? If there's a chance you'll get a reaction like a lot of those on this thread, I wouldn't want you to put yourself through it.

And no one in my workplace has ever raised an issue before, whatever their ethnicity.

Well if your workplace consists of some of the characters on this thread then issues have been raised and then brushed aside.

Fucking hell OP - that's the definition of othering!!!!

You must let them know. I'm so sorry - I have second hand embarrassment for them.

O for goodness' sake, I thought workplaces would have realised by now there are several reasons why this is not a good idea! Something very embarrassing came up when we tried to do this at my workplace which I won't share because it's outing, but everyone involved felt awful.

I think, just email the organisers quite bluntly saying what you have here. It's 2024, not 1994!

Been there, done that.

Some twat literally came up to me and said "well, none of us will have any problems guessing which one is you!"

Please, pale blonde white lady, do continue explaining to the black woman what she should/should not be offended by.