AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

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This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

On MN people wash all their kids clothes and pjs every day - it is lunacy

I’m from Australia and it is well known that British people have appalling hygiene. Failing to bathe regularly and failing to take care of their teeth.

The tooth stereotype is very out of date, given the UK ranks joint 4th on the DMFT index (score of 0.8), far above Australia.

Don't large swathes of Australia suffer from severe water shortages in summer? I can't imagine people living in those areas being wasteful with endless showers and baths.

Many of those who wash daily can smell the (bad) smell of those who routinely wash every 3 days or less (also smells on clothing, hats, beddings, in homes). I used to smell it on certain children when I was a child. It’s not the “body odour” smell but it’s something weird and pungent in its own right. Always the same weird smell though.

I personally can't imagine going to bed without showering. It's really rare that I don't, I have to feel very unwell.

DD age 1 gets a bath every night, she's always messy from eating (nothing I do stops her rubbing breakfast lunch and dinner in her hair), she's crawling around the garden, this time of year she's smothered in sun cream, it's part of her evening routine. I don't always use soap, sometimes she just splashes about in the water for a bit.

I also don't judge those whose kids bathe once or twice a week. Whatever works for you and your family.

I would however judge if they smelled, dirty clothes, greasy hair etc, that is neglect.

But who got the first go in the water???

Our shower bust the other week. It was dripping into the hall. It took dp 4 days to fix it and then another 24 hours until the sealant dried. Dp and the kids had a bath. But that's not an option for me so I had to just rely on my trusty flannel and a cup over the sink for my hair, which DP had to do for me.

My SIL, when they stayed in their caravan, would get son up, be about 4 at the time, clean clothes, breakfast, another set of clothes to go to the beach, a set of clothes for the beach, another set to go back to the caravan then all clean pjs each night.

OP the habits we are familiar with from childhood we tend to carry through to adulthood. If bathing once a week is what we know then that will tend to carry through. Your children may be ‘self cleaning now but honestly you are not doing them any favours. I work in mental health and I meet people who have experienced this ‘benign neglect’ all the time- people who struggle with self care routines and it nearly always dates back to childhood. I have to say that notwithstanding serious health issues or disability giving your kids a 10 minute bath should be well within the realms of possibility.

I don't think it's neglect as such however surely in summer or if they do sport they may need a more regular bath. Maybe every 2nd day.children get dirty and there is little point putting a clean shirt on a sweaty body

My mom bathed us every day - my brothers and I grew up in the 60s and 70s. Mom grew up in the 40s and said she and her sisters also had a bath every day in the afternoon then had a nap. If they played outside after that they would have another bath.

I’m from Australia and it is well known that British people have appalling hygiene. Failing to bathe regularly and failing to take care of their teeth.

Usual comments from the AUs/US re teeth because they confuse tooth colour and bleached plastic, teeth are not brilliant white naturally.

Actually, it was more the other posters on that thread that decried it as neglect (rather than the OP herself)

@Razorwire obviously there is minimal difference in dryness between 3A and 3B. That's very clearly not the point.

Curly hair and scalp gets dry, not oily and greasy.

I'm just amazed that someone who claims to have curly hair and curly haired children thinks it's normal to wash such hair daily, and if you don't it's dirty- but ok. It's not unclean to look after your hair appropriately

Soap dodging. We shower or bath at least once a day in Australia.

A bath once a week isnt a problem as long as they are also getting washed in between.
We only ever had a weekly bath (because it was a tin bath and had to be filled by boiling pans of water)
But every morning hands face and bits were washed before dressing and the same of an evening before putting PJ's on. So no a daily bath isn't needed, but you still need to wash the bits that get dirty in between times.

When mine were little I bathed / showered them twice a week but occasionally they’d go one week. They didn’t smell at that age, not until approaching puberty, then they could shower themselves and I encouraged daily showers

Definitely. I can't wash my hair daily, I don't have time! It takes a good 45 mins to diffuse even if it's kept shorter. Probably 15 mins to wash and apply styling products so an hour
I usually do 2-3 times a week

You know best, as their mum, I would say.

Seems I was the only 70’s child who had a daily bath.

DS is 9 and has a long bath and hair wash on a Sunday. Various parts of him are cleaned throughout the week if they get dirty (face /neck /knees etc). Once children are toilet trained and reliably wiping their own bums they don't tend to smell much until they are pre-teens and start getting hormonal. DD is 12 and showers every other day + after sports etc. They have clean clothes every day, clean sheets regularly, teeth are perfect. Hardly neglected.

To the thicko Australians, we were discussing children, little kids don't stink of sweat and body odour pre puberty and require less scrubbing and washing as the UK isn't hot all the time.

I spent considerable time all over Australia years ago. You're not superior but you sure don't read properly.

Hth.

Saves water. I'm a low income, single parent, with a water meter.

Used to bath the oldest every night as it helped with his bed time routine, the middle one gets a reawakening if he gets bathed at night so gets hands and face washed then a shower in the morning as he likes being outside no matter the weather so is always bogging and youngest has sensitive skin so he’s usually twice a week unless he’s got minging then will have a quick wash down with the shower

Used to "hose" mine from waist down standing in the bath every day, just so they were fresh. Took 5 minutes max. Their underarms etc never smelled.
Bath once a week