DD spending a while totally alone

[Abeelikenoother]

Hi all, DD is 18, she’s in sixth form and is taking a gap year next year.
Her plans for gap year so far are

• Backpacking Italy with a friend in the summer
• New York/US East Coast with her dad for 4 weeks in Sept/Early Oct
• South Africa - Australia - New Zealand Jan/Feb
• Europe (Greek Island Hoping/Spain/City sightseeing March-August with breaks at home and holidays with friends (she has a Swedish passport from her dad so no concerns about visa)

Now for mid Oct - mid December she wants to find a little rural cottage on AirBnB and just be by herself for a while. She tells me she will spend time trying new recipes and cooking, reading, writing, learning a new skill, going on walks, yoga, meditation etc.
She has a car so wouldn’t be totally isolated.
Now I’m worried this isn’t a great idea, She wants to do somewhere really rural unsure on if she wants UK or not.
My concern is she quite a sociable person and I think two months totally alone could be very very bad for her mental health. I think she thinks it will be peaceful but I worry it will be lonely.
We live in North Yorkshire so I’ve suggested if she does do it, it may be best to stay within an hour or 2 so she can come home for a weekend or similar.

AIBU to think this is a bad idea? What are your thoughts?

I would have loved to have her confidence at that age, sounds great, what experiences she's going to have.

I think a lot of the enthusiasm on this thread is because the demographic is mums who lets face it are usually utterly desperate for some time alone and no one bothering them...I know I am 😂

But for a teenager I feel like they would get bored and lonely really quite quickly.

I mean, it sounds proper boring to me. Couldn’t haven’t imagined it at 18. But she’s an adult OP just let her get on with it @Abeelikenoother

I'm not a parent and would have loved two months living alone at 18.

But also, if it doesn't work out, it's not like she can't change her plans or go home.

@1983Louise

what experiences? What experiences is she likely to have in a cottage by herself ?

Sounds like the dream.

It’s funny that you are concerned about the being alone part rather than exploring the world.

Can you ask her if I can come? I'll carry her bag and not talk at all.
It sounds blissful. The joy of mobiles are she can call you if she needs you.

I'd kill for this. Sounds delightful. I'd do it at a warmer time of year though.

The OP explains how in her second post. Not that she should have to because it isn't the point of the thread and it isn't anybodies business but hers.

If that's what she wants she should do it and if she finds it boring then she will learn from it.

It does sound like a Channel cheesy xmas movie though.

Let her do it; a tremendous skill to learn to be comfortable in your own company. I’m sure she’ll easily fill her days. She’s at the perfect age to do it too; once at Uni and then in the working world you’ll struggle to get 2 totally carefree months off again!

Well, it really doesn't matter does it. Whatever her experiences are, they are hers and she will be doing what she wants. Considering that this is 2 months out of 12 she is having plenty of experiences for the other 10.

My son has been booking Air B&B all over the country in his sole name since he turned 18. He has been in rural cottages and city apartments. He has never had any problems being accepted. This is the case for a lot of his friends also.

She will meet people when travelling, so her plans may change in the future

The time alone may never occur. It is good to disconnect, reflect, tune into nature

An amazing opportunity to travel !

My dd is the same age and I wouldn't want her to do this, apart from the isolation it seems like a weird thing for an 18 yo to want to do.

I wonder if it's something that sounds like a nice idea but the reality would just be really boring.

I'd also take issue with spending money on this waste of time idea.

For comparison my dd is also taking a year out, she's got a few trips planned with friends and is going to work to save money for travelling next year and then uni.

That said op you can't stop her and if she's anything like my dd if you tell her what you think it will just make her more determined to do it!

My dd is the same age and I wouldn't want her to do this, apart from the isolation it seems like a weird thing for an 18 yo to want to do.

What's weird about it?

Sounds absolutely horrendous. She might not understand how bored and lonely she will get never hearing her own voice. Let her do it (not that you’ve got a choice) but maybe see if she can book in cancellable slots in case she realises that she needs to socialise. It’s a rare person who could go that long in isolation.

It sounds lovely to me! Cooking, reading, yoga!!

Being too close to home might detract from what she’s hoping to achieve with her little sanctuary, but no reason you couldn’t arrange a couple of weekends with her. Long walks ending up in a country pub would be nice and add to experience.

Why is it weird and a waste of time? Maybe the OPs DD isn't the same as yours. It's okay for people to enjoy different things. It doesn't give others the right to call it weird just because it isn't what they would choose.

Spending two months on your own in a holiday cottage =/= isolation.

I have lived alone a lot and although I am good at being alone the idea of 2 months in a cottage with no work to go to every day is not at all appealing.
I would personally have lots of plans to cook sew paint etc but would find it very hard to be motivated to actually do anything with 2 months stretching ahead.

Sounds like a good idea to me. If she's spending the rest of the year travelling and being constantly surround by other people all day every day, then a few weeks on her own maybe just what she needs to recharge.

It's a good idea. Everyone should learn to live alone in case, some day, they have to. And if your daughter finds the isolation too much, presumably she can come home.

Taking issue with how another adult spends her own money is a good way to spoil your relationship with that adult.

I think it’s a wonderful idea and experience to have at that age. It’s a very important and difficult lesson learning how to be comfortable with your own company and how to handle small periods of loneliness. Imagine how many women would be spared some terrible relationships if they weren’t scared of being alone.