Wow. So, I’ll give you some perspective on how others live. 11 years ago, DH and I bought a property in a rural area in the East Midlands…4 bed Victorian house in need of TLC with acreage…for £227,500. I made about 40K a year, he took a break from work to fix up the house. Then, he went to work, and we were on 80K-90K a year for a while. The house was a fixer upper, and we paid off the mortgage on an offset one when the rates were low and spent another 70-80K on the house to get it up to standard. we did a lot of the work ourselves…many an evening was spent laying and sanding floors, painting, rebuilding garden walls, etc. It was tiring, and we are glad we are done.
It was my first house I bought at age 45, DH’s second (he had a small terrace house before). I waited a long time because I had American student loans to pay off and it took me a decade to do so, and I wasn’t getting into any more debt and saved for a larger deposit. I worked as an professor so was a student a long time to get my doctorate, hence the loans. I also had to save money to pay all the immigration/visa fees/surcharges and now just have to get citizenship (will be v. glad when that is over because the process has been stressful).
One car, caravan holidays, household cleaners in bulk, did (and still do) all our own cooking including bread making in the bread machine and a vegetable garden. We eat out very seldom, and I took sack lunches to work, as does DH now. we bought a fancy coffee machine so we don’t spend money on coffees out. No children, no consumer debt. Car was bought with cash. we put solar panels up to pay for the electrics. Any extra money went into savings and pensions. I’m retiring early in my late 50s as I socked away 5 years of salary, DH continues to work as he enjoys it. Retirement will be modest in the countryside with a caravan we bought used for UK holidays, I’m spending my time continuing to write books and gardening.
I get childcare is expensive, I do. But crickey you are in a v. expensive area. Either wait till the kiddoes get into school and deal with it, or get a cheaper house and put that extra money in a pension. On that salary, you might want to read about the FIRE movement (financial independence, retire early), downsize and save your salary. In a decade you could find yourself in a position to retire. I would think a 175K job would be high pressure, and you can only do that so long or it will affect your health. Good luck.