175k salary and all gone

[175allgone]

This will ruffle some feathers, but after tax, mortgage , childcare, living expenses….there doesn’t seem much left. SE London, commuting, wrap around care. Whilst I appreciate I’m not having to watch my bills I’m hardly living an extravagant lifestyle.

I think your salary seems fantastic but then people don't understand the tax factor or what that then means in take home they just hear the first number and think that's what is hitting your bank account.
Your salary is high but so are your out goings currently.

Your childcare bill is the big factor here. Have you looked into other options which maybe more affordable like a nanny, au pair or childminder?

Also sit down and go through your bank statements list out on an excel sheet spending.
Food bill tends to be a big one as well for people. The best thing you can do is get a spreadsheet and look at it all.

What's the plan for school?

My childcare bill is also double my mortgage it's a killer! Wrap around care get them on lists now or look into nanny etc.

I don't earn anywhere close to you (a good 100k+ lower infact) but we manage holidays etc by the simple fact that everything is budgeted and on a tight leash. Children's clothes from vinted, no expensive leased cars etc.
It is possible but you need to both sit down and seriously go through finances.

How can you earn that much money and yet be too stupid to budget? Childcare is a short-term investment in your future so go to interest only for 5 years? Set up a proper budget and work out why £1k a month isn't enough to live on? Newsflash it is.

Yet managed to click on a thread and post when you’ve nothing to add - amazing. Obviously care enough to do that 😒

OP my 30 year old daughter says she'll look after your children for £3 500 a month. That's almost twice her current public sector salary for working in Children's Services :)

So I should move to a cheaper less desirable area and cause gentrification?

Moving to another area would not cause gentrification - moving to another area and spending tons of money 'gentrifying' your property would. But if you moved to save money, why would you do that?
Unless you're a reckless spendthrift😂

'Go interest only for 5 years?'??? Seriously! Hardly savvy financial advice... Have you seen the interest rates?

Why not both?

Maybe her mere presence would gentrify the area?

Sorry op, just teasing. I presume you didn't mean it how it came across :D

Salary ≠ intelligence.

I have an influencer friend who drop ships who is, shall we say, not the brightest penny. But he knows how to hustle and is devoid of ethics in the process. That can get you quite far.

And an ex was a literal conman. Lovely person.

I was being sardonic.

But some people have no kids because they can't afford any.

It’s staggering that people who get paid so much lack basic budgeting/common sense.

What is the sole earner is on £175k, and the other is on a presumably high salary? Hm.

And do you think that's right?

The run up to the election is going to just be a never ending stream of these. At least get a map...Islington isn't in SE London and no one who actually lives there would make that mistake....think people...think

I haven't read all the responses so sorry if this has already been said, but I live in a really expensive city in the south east, with a very similar household income, and what shocks me here is the childcare costs - are you using an expensive agency nanny or something or is it the number of children?

Even when both my children were < 5 our childcare costs peaked at £1800 a month (I worked 3.5 days then, admittedly if I worked a 5 day week it would be more, but not £4000). We also don't carry that size mortgage and accept living in a smaller property. We would rather live in a smaller house and be able to go on 1-2 holidays a year (and even then we tend to not leave the UK). We count ourselves lucky that we were able to get on to the property ladder in the first place. We would also not consider a third child as it would be a struggle to afford the costs.

The UK is a third world country that just happens to have London’s financial centre to keep things somewhat afloat.

It's just ludicrous reading all these enormous costs.

You can be earning a significant salary and still be strapped for cash.

It's just nonsensical.

There has to be a better way to live.

I mean London is fine as a city but is it really the only option?

I think people also really underestimate housing costs, both for mortgage and renting. People saying that this is an extortionate monthly repayment and must be for a ££££££ renovated period place - have you bought - or rented - recently? I know people paying close to £2k per month for a studio flat (not a particularly high end one or in an especially fancy location). The London market is insane.

Assume your mortgage payments went up (ours more than doubled) after the Liz Truss fiasco - the rates are coming down atm, so would suggest exploring whether you can move/change your mortgage?

Childcare costs are, although, painful, temporary. They will be at school before you know it, so it’s a case of suck it up - unless you have room for a live in au pair or can do a nanny share? Several friends of mine did the au pair route for a few years. Not the easiest option as you have responsibilities to the young person and it does affect your privacy, but it massively reduces costs.

Are you over paying into pensions? Could you reduct those until after the kids are at school and you have more cash on hand?

In addition, it really is worth checking things like switching broadband, utilities and mobile phone providers - we were paying nearly 100pcm for fibre/broadband, after a cheap deal set up during lock down. Our neighbours got it at £38pcm from the same provider as a new customer! Clearly we cancelled and moved providers immediately, but it made us look at utilities etc. If you’ve not moved any of these for more than 3 years, you may be paying a premium for being a loyal customer that is, frankly, criminal as it doesn’t come with benefits. Sky also cut our monthly bill by 35% after calling to enquire why new customers were being offered new contracts for less than we were paying.

It’s easy to assume you are paying best price, when complacency means they are just fleecing you. On your salary, you shouldn’t feel as though you are missing out. We cut hundreds off our monthly bills this way - and did much of it online, so fairly stress free. We now do an annual review of all this stuff.

The UK is a low pay (Ok not so much in this case) high cost economy.

Simples

100% our experience and that of all my friends. We are renting because we don’t have permanent residency rights and are increasingly likely to leave once we get citizenship for my son. Rents are horrific for places that are full of broken furniture and falling down.

Do you know what sardonic means? I was repeating the tired refrain that is often used against parents struggling on benefits, to point out the ridiculousness of op's complaints.

And if you really want to know what I think - given the state of the planet, I don't really think anyone should be birthing new kids. There are plenty already here that need homes and parents.

But I often see parents on here say they don't even care about climate change, which makes me think they should not be parents at all.

How is your childcare £4k a month?? That translates to £500 a week (more or less) and £100 a day, as presumably it’ll just be on weekdays. Is there any way you can cut back on this or change to a cheaper option? I know childcare is massively pricey, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this expensive. £4k would be £36k a year, which is more than many private schools.

Hi OP, I feel your pain. My husband was made redundant a few years back and briefly we had to survive on solely on my low six figure salary.
You can't just magically reduce bills, mortgages and school fees, so things were quite tight for a while. Thankfully this was during covid so outgoings on social activities and holidays were quite low. But under normal circumstances, we wouldn't have had much money left at the end of the month. Bills alone for us (admittedly inc school fees) top £5k per month and we don't even have a mortgage.

But to be fair OP, you're never going to get the advice you might want on mumsnet.
Most people will be simply unable to fathom how you aren't jumping in your private jet to your multiple villas in sunnier climes, with those earnings.
Yet the reality is that £175k in a nice part of London, especially if you like a few nice holidays a year and have private school fees or large nursery fees to contend with, is actually quite low and will get you a functional life and build you some assets in the long term. But once a mortgage and bills are gone out, I very much doubt that you have much left over.

You gonna attract the moaning and bashing brigade, but that the reality of London… if one hasn’t got a family home purchased years ago, or a council accommodation, and young children- without free childcare hours- then yes. Childcare bill is 4K indeed.
and your mortgage is actually small!