175k salary and all gone

[175allgone]

This will ruffle some feathers, but after tax, mortgage , childcare, living expenses….there doesn’t seem much left. SE London, commuting, wrap around care. Whilst I appreciate I’m not having to watch my bills I’m hardly living an extravagant lifestyle.

It’s a luxury to have two kids close together now days that one issue but there isn’t turning back the clock. Most people have to plan their age ages and make sure there is a set amount to ensure their childcare bills are payable.

Unless OP you are going to say these are private school costs then you know an easy way to reduce this.

Having sky and paying £80 a month is a luxury along with a car on finance. If you pay over £500 for a car a month again another luxury. You need to look at all expenses, review your out goings and see where you could cut.

£1k a month mortgage at today’s rates is ~£220k.

Why did you choose Islington? How much was your house and how much is it worth now?

But childcare bills are steep for a short ti
e though? After that ends, you’ll be flying! You’ve already got 1k pm disposable - in not very long you’ll have 5k pm disposable! That’s serious money

That’s a big question for our society though isnt it.

Both that having two children is a luxury, and one that someone on a top 1% income can’t afford without careful planning.

Not everyone who disagrees with you is bitter. I just have no time for "woe is me" threads from very privileged rich people.

You aren’t bitter for disagreeing with me. It’s the whole “move somewhere cheaper”, “pay less childcare”, “give up your job” which is shortsighted & often comes out bitter. The people I know with family incomes like the OP are consultants, dentists, surgeons, head teachers. They are needed in London, I can recognise that. There are legitimate conversations to be had around housing & childcare costs.

4k childcare is ridiculous. My childcare bill for one child this month is less than £300. I’m in Yorkshire. People manage because they’re smart about their life choices. I’ve purposely not had a second child yet as could not afford them both in nursery.

@NOTANUM I know I also live in London - in a flat ( not Islington).

I am very much assuming tne OP is not fully mortgaged at 95%.

No, I think the OP is making a very good point of how housing and childcare costs are so ridiculous in this country that even people on very high incomes are left with much less disposable income than people would expect.

Both that having two children is a luxury, and one that someone on a top 1% income can’t afford without careful planning.

Exactly, should only the super rich have dc? Should everyone who wants dc move to a cheap area? Birth rates have fallen much faster than predicted & some of that is because of costs.

100%. Also, it’s not always possible to “cut hours” in certain positions like law or if you work for an American company when you’re salaried. You’ll get a chuckle and a kick out the door.

Also i stand by my point. Literally anywhere else in the country would be cheaper than London. Stick a pin in a map of the uk and you're pretty much guaranteed that house prices there are cheaper than London.

Take home net pay is 8.5k. Your essential needs add up to 7.5k leaving you 1k a month for food and other expenditure. In a 4 week month that's £250 a week disposable income. In a 5 week month that's £200 a week.

Are you looking for advice ?

1. Shop around for utility / power Bill's. As you and your children are not at home during the day, put your heating on timer.

1. Shop for yellow sticker Items at the end of the supermarket day Bulk cook using slowcooker and switch to a mostly plant based diet. Use your freezer. Make soups and smoothies with veg and fruit near their end of shelf life. Make pasta sauces or quiches with proteins ( meat, fish etc) or leftovers which are at end of shelf life.

When prepping veg, peelingvpotatoes/ carrots etc. Wash first. Use the peelings to make nutritious soup. Portion an freeze. Always check your cupboards fridge and freezer and make a list of what stock you have. Match up what you have to make meals. Items that dont have anything to match up- just buy something to go with it. Dont shop when you are hungry, dont shop with your kids and shop online so you arent tempted to spend more.

Buy a sandwich maker. Leftovers make great toasties to go with homemade soup. Tiny amounts of cheese go a long way. One slice of cheap ham makes 2 toasties if you snip it up.

Make packed lunches for you and your children if you are currently buying lunches. Even a daily £4 garage meal deal a day is £80 spent.

Dont drink alcohol. Switch to UHT milk rather than fresh. Dont have it delivered.
Switch to plain water or squash instead of pop. Give up coffee and drink herbal tea ( coffee is expensive luxury)

Bake your own cakes and biscuits. Batch bake and freeze.

Buy all your clothes from charity ships. But household items from charity shops. Buy your childrens clothes from charity shops.

In a weekend take your children by tube to parks and take picnic food and water bottles, never buy food out and dont go to pubs/ restaurants.

Get rid of TV subscriptions sky, Disney plus etc. Get a firestick/ more. It's not as good a service, so they watch less, saving them screen time and your electric bill.

Board games are cheaper than games consoles. Find games online or use exchange sites to sell or swop games they no longer use for games they want.
Do car boot sales for toys and games.

Join your local library for books, toys and free ir low cost family activities.
Use local museums and art gallery passes with free child entry for regular visits and low cost family events.

Buy pyjamas and use throws from charity shops to keep warm so you dont need to have your heating on at home.
If your children are small when you get them from childcare feed em soup, bath and bed routine when they get in means no heating on as they will be warm in bed.

If you are paying for afterschool activities / clubs switch to cheaper activities such as scouting/ guiding and use your local leisure centre instead of gym membership. Be part of a local mums group to swop clothes and tips and use your local 'what's on' webpages to join in with local free events which you can attend with a picnic. Collect packet tops offers and clubcard points 3for2 and kids go free coupons all year round to plan for birthday treats etc or special family day outs.
Use the 'free to a good home's fb sites to provide for your family. Buy and sell items to generate income, use vinted and Ebay to sell off items outgrown or no longer needed.
If you have a garden in London.. use it. Do your own gardening and get your kids into nature and gardening. Cheap summer hols activities in the garden for playdates

Grow your hair. Dont have it coloured wear it long and tied back. Paint your own nails or leave them natural and do your own brows. No fake tans. Ditch gym membership for free online fitness classes to do at home.

All this takes time and planning. I've raised two children this way on a budget all my life. Your children will not suffer for the things they never had.

Staycations with a program of free events scheduled instead of overseas holidays. Buy bus or train tickets in advance to visit friends and family for holidays in exchange for them visiting you.

£300 a month for FT nursery? Nonsense.

And how much would a full time childcare place cost you with no subsidies from the taxpayer? It’s £1400-1500 per month where I am and I’m 40 miles from London in a rural area.

You’ve chosen to live in a stupidly expensive part of London. That’s your problem.

Either move somewhere cheaper or suck it up.

People manage because they’re smart about their life choices.

Well that’s a lot of bullshit.

When did Islington move to South East London?

We left Shoreditch this summer, a similar joint income, two children, mortgaged property. Zero shortage of money after bills. Our daughters nursery wouldn’t have been £2,000 a month if she did fulltime hours. Fulltime nursery and fulltime wrap around wouldn’t even be £3,000, nevermind £4,000. Commuting cost £0, bills and council tax weren’t anywhere near £1,000 a month.

The level of vitriol directed at a woman discussing childcare costs is absolutely insane.

childcare, regardless of where you are, is stupidly expensive and should be universally subsidized. We should want women to both be having children and working as a society.

We live in cheaper places and don't pay so much for childcare. My mortgage is £1k a month. If your income is your salary alone what's the children's father doing while you're at work? Does he work too, are you separated and if so does he pay maintenance?

They spend less.

NC for this. We earn marginally more than you but live offshore so our take home is more like 11k.

have you thought about relocating offshore?

Its all gone. But look at what you have bought with it, a mortgage, childcare, commuting and living expenses all covered.

Before long that will be equity, much less childcare and a pension pot building up.

How old are your children? Will you be sending them to private school? If not then the fees for their childcare won’t be there forever. Have you thought of an au pair - surely cheaper?