To think schools should get with the times re working parents.

[working8til4]

Why can't they be open 8-6 for everyone? It would help reduce gender inequality in the work place

AIBU - DON'T BE SILLY
YANBU - actually you have a point

*Because my question is really - if you want to be a career person, that is great and lovely and wonderful - be a career person- but why have children who you won't see? What are you actually having them for?

My friend is a SAHM, her dc attend private school and are away longer than mine due to school bus journey. Should she not have had dc?

Plenty of women have always worked and whilst my grandma didn’t she had 7 dc, no washing machine, dishwasher, freezer, etc so she was spending most of her time doing chores whilst my parent & their siblings were left to it.

You're basically moaning about the school you chose not having wraparound.

This isn't a national problem. Many schools offer it. Unfortunately the area you live in can't support it for one reason or another.

If you have no family support in the area, move to an area with wraparound.

Yes, @Pollipops1 . Anyone who doesn't see their children, for any any of the reasons cited. Why have them?

Because my question is really - if you want to be a career person, that is great and lovely and wonderful - be a career person- but why have children who you won't see? What are you actually having them for?

I'm a single parent. If I don't work then my mortgage doesn't get paid and my children don't get fed. I wasn't always single, I'm divorced from their father. My children were very much planned but shit happens, I still need to provide for them because their dad won't. Nothing to do with being a "career person". In fact I wish I could afford to step down a rung!

Again @MrsMurphyIWish , you haven't answered the question. Why are people having children they will barely see?

Erm, yeah, no thanks. If one of the advantages of not having kids is being able to work hard without being distracted by dependants then I’m going to sell that to the highest bidder, not work for peanuts doing 4 hours of childcare a day.

@Username83058265 and they’re barely even for education

But who would staff them?

Again, @VivaVivaa, that isn't an answer to 'why have them'. I mustn't be articulating my question very well. I'm trying to work out what the thought process is behind having children who you will barely get to see because of all the very valid reasons you've cited.

And you aren’t answering the question. Should poor people or people in service jobs not have children because they don’t have the luxury of being able to reduce hours or be more flexible around school hours?

For the same reason anyone has children. We all have selfish reasons. It’s ultimately a selfish choice to reproduce.

Anyone who doesn't see their children, for any any of the reasons cited. Why have them?

But why are you equating that with not seeing your dc? So basically if a mum and dad work they shouldn’t have had dc? If your dc have a lot of activities you shouldn’t have had them? If your dc have a long school commute you shouldn’t have had them?

Who your world should have had dc then @arethereanyleftatall?

Ah thank you @cadburyegg, finally an actual answer! So, change of circumstances led to it. Thank you.

So my question now still just stands for those who deliberately go in to it knowing they'll barely see them even from conception time.

No they fucking aren’t.

Childcare is a massive part of what they do - as became evident during COVID when schools had to remain open so that essential workers could do their jobs.

My question wasn't a should/shouldn't situation @VivaVivaa. It was simply WHY do you want to have children who you will barely see? It doesn't matter rich or poor or how you get to the fact that you'll only see them on weekends and holidays. But once you know that's the case, why try to conceive?

Why do you think that should be the school's responsibility?

Why can’t that change?

People keep saying this but what about jobs that you CAN'T have flexible working? Not everyone works in an office that can have hybrid working etc.
Imagine the ranting on here if people were told their doctor finished at 3pm every day because they had kids. People would be moaning that they need to see the doctor after 3pm because that's when THEY finish work. So they want to finish work at 3pm to pick up their kids but the doctor/dentist/hairdresser/beautician all need to work until the evening so they can have their appointments after work.
And what about teachers who have kids? They need to finish at 3. No lesson planning or meetings after work. Then people would complain that teachers aren't working hard enough etc.

You think the biological drive to have children is so that we can see them? That seems absolutely bizarre to me.

I had children because I thought the satisfaction of bringing up great adults who might go on to do great things (and I don’t necessarily mean in a famous, world changing way, could be being great friends or something similarly individual) would be more meaningful than better holidays. It wasn’t because I thought they would entertain or otherwise provide companionship for me while they were kids.

For the same reason everyone has children - they want to be a parent, to provide for them and to love them and all the other selfish reasons people have children.
Working parents see their children mornings, evenings, weekends and holidays.
Your posts are dripping with judgement and I’m not even in your target group!

Biological drive is what I was actually thinking too @RawBloomers. No real thought process in to the how's it will work, just a 'must do this' situation. Thank you for actually answering!

And that sums up why the UK is having a crisis in education...

Ffs

Many doctors do work part time for family reasons. Their employers just have to support flexibility and job sharing etc to ensure the services are staffed. The issue isn’t workers like these imo it’s the workers who despite working fulltime hours can’t afford any support

Great sentiment, but when the government require children of school age children to work a set amount of hours per week….they’re for childcare

I tried so hard to remove the judgement @TorturedPoetsDepartmentAnthology! It wasn't intended, but I think the nature of the question means that people can't help but read it as if it was. I was just hoping someone would articulate why. And they did in the end. Thank you.