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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To break up with him on his birthday?

116 replies

Faceissues · 24/05/2024 01:14

Hi all. I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months and he has cheated on me with atleast 4 different women in that time. The last time it happened (about 6 weeks ago) he actually rang me from his bedroom to reassure me he was home with just his male friends and they were gonna have a drink and go to bed. His friend then put a story on social media of them all downstairs with women drinking etc. It again turned out he had took someone home and slept with her. He begged, pleaded and swore that he felt awful and he would never do it again. In fairness to him things have been great since then.

Today (friday) is his birthday. He went to the pub with his friends and said he would be going home when it shut. He rang me about half 11 to say he was going out out, to the same club he has met all these women at, with the same friends and I'm just an absolute wreck. I've been crying since I spoke to him and I feel so anxious. He said I need to trust him but I've heard it so many times before I just can't.

We are supposed to be going out with his family this evening for his birthday. WIBU to call it off today? I can't keep feeling like this but it's awful timing.

Thanks

OP posts:
HappyAutumnFields · 24/05/2024 07:10

Why on earth are you with someone who is regularly unfaithful?

SophieJo · 24/05/2024 07:14

IamGrout · 24/05/2024 01:30

Where's your self respect? Dump him and give yourself a shake.

I immediately thought this. Why put yourself through the agony of sitting there at a birthday meal when you know what you should do for your sake.

determinedtomakethiswork · 24/05/2024 07:17

Come on, you are being ridiculous. He's not a child who has to have a nice birthday. He cheated on you four times! I wouldn't even let him know why I didn't turn up tonight. I would block him right this minute and look into having some kind of counselling to see why I put up with such a horrible man.

MoonWoman69 · 24/05/2024 07:17

10 months and he hasn't been faithful at all? He's clearly a real catch isn't he? Why the hell are you still with him? Surely you can't be that desperate for a man that you'll put up with this shit! Just bin him off and block him right now! You honestly think binning him on his birthday is going to have an impact on him? He won't give a toss by the sound of it! He'll be picking someone else up by the end of the night!
I'd also be making an appointment to get tested for STI's too!
Good luck 🌻

HandsDown84 · 24/05/2024 07:18

If he keeps up his current rate and you stay with him 10 years he will sleep with 48 women and you'll end up with an STD.

Get rid. I don't care whose birthday it is.

FedUpMumof10YO · 24/05/2024 07:24

We get what we settle for.

10 months and he's cheated how many times???

He doesn't respect you and you don't respect yourself.

You know the answer.

Oh and I'd get tested, goodness knows what he's given you.

2Old2Tango · 24/05/2024 07:25

Having read the thread, he deserves it. At this early stage he should be treating you like a princess, not continually disrespecting you. Dump his ass and get yourself STD checked to ensure he hasn't given you a present.

StormingNorman · 24/05/2024 07:28

Fuck him off. He’s taking you for a mug.

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 24/05/2024 07:29

10 months in you should still be in the honeymoon period, all excited about your relationship, both on your best behaviour, out to impress each other.
You shouldn't be sat in tears because he's cheated on you multiple times.
He's giving you a glimpse of your future.
He's actually giving you a gift, the gift of showing you who he is before you waste years of your life on him, grab this gift with both hands.
Forget about his birthday, don't show up tonight, don't dump him, just block him and delete his number, you owe him nothing.
You're worth and deserve so much more ❤️

LightSpeeds · 24/05/2024 07:29

Do it! Serves the scumbag right.

FinallyPregnant23 · 24/05/2024 07:31

Leave him. I’d take enjoyment from the fact I was doing it on his birthday after how he’s treated you. You deserve so much better! Saying you should trust him… when he has cheated repeatedly when you’ve only been together 10 months!! Get rid and block him and if you’re on good terms with any of his family text them and tell them the truth of why you won’t be there tonight.

QueSyrahSyrah · 24/05/2024 07:34

For fucks sake OP have some respect for yourself and raise your bar.

You've been dating 10 months and he's cheated on you 4 times already, you've endorsed it every time by staying with him so why on earth would he stop?

Don't even go to the effort of calling today off, just block him completely and move on with your life, ideally with some introspection as to why you don't think you deserve better than this before you get together with anyone else.

Copperoliverbear · 24/05/2024 07:44

Why an earth did you not break up with him the first time, he could give you a disease.
He is making you ill and unhappy, if he wants to kill himself with his loose morals let him, don't let him take you down.
Do it now and 100% don't let him talk you around, if he was decent he'd at least be taking you will him.

Please please walk away

DelphiniumBlue · 24/05/2024 07:45

Of course you should dump him.
You could just tell him you can’t go tonight and then do the actual dumping tomorrow. Just “ sorry won’t be able to make it tonight “ and then block him, and briefly unblock tomorrow to dump.
Or just dump and block right now, he’s not going to bother much anyway .

nobird · 24/05/2024 07:50

He’s scum. Get him out of your life instantly.

jeaux90 · 24/05/2024 07:55

Yeah dump him, raise your standards, you deserve way better

SussexLass87 · 24/05/2024 08:03

Who cares about timing? He hasn't cared about cheating on you!

Run and don't look back.

Nicole1111 · 24/05/2024 08:08

Do it and then commit to spending some time single and working on your self esteem. Once should have been enough.

DamnUserName21 · 24/05/2024 08:16

I have to agree with the others. I really don't think he will care if you dump him although he might be put out that you won't be there to pander to him and feed his ego during his birthday dinner.
Can you imagine what your relationship will be like in one to two years time if you stay with him?
Can you imagine what you will be like?
Dump the fucker!

OhYoko · 24/05/2024 08:16

You'd be unreasonable NOT to dump this louse. The fact it's his birthday is actually the icing on the (birthday) cake.

Dump the dickhead and don't look back.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 24/05/2024 08:17

You don't need to do anything. You just aren't a couple
Block and move on

BadLad · 24/05/2024 08:19

The only unreasonable thing is that you haven't dumped him ages ago.

Bollocks to his birthday.

To break up with him on his birthday?
Quitelikeacatslife · 24/05/2024 08:19

"Not coming tonight, I've had enough, it's over, you've let me down and treated me like shit. " press send and block
If you get on with his family then tell them (and why)

IncompleteSenten · 24/05/2024 08:20

He fucks around and you're worried about how he'll feel being dumped on his birthday?

Who gives a shit how he feels?

It may not be the gift he wants but it's the gift he deserves!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 24/05/2024 08:33

Fucking block the cunt.

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