Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to leave the dog?

111 replies

Fairweatherrunner2 · 23/05/2024 10:07

I am planning to leave my partner, it has taken nearly 2 years to finally get to a place where I realise I deserve better and feeling strong that there is no future here.

He's been emotionally abusive, controlling (including financial), doesn't pull his weight, doesn't look after himself. I could go on but I have finally accepted that there is nothing left to salvage and I have no more strength to keep trying. I'm finding it hard to pull the trigger and actually go but the main thing holding me back is our dog. He has outright told me he would keep the dog if we ever split. I do majority of her day to day care and she follows me around like my shadow. I cannot bear to leave her. For my own selfish reasons but also because she will be left with a controlling asshole and im not sure he would put in the effort for her exercise needs, grooming etc. I'm not sure where I'm even going to live and no family or friends I could take the dog to so I think I am going to have to leave her. He is named on all the vets, microchip, insurance etc so I have nothing on that side.

I need some reassurance I am doing the right thing? I'm worried I'll stay here for another 10 years because of the dog. I love her so much but as everyone in my life is telling me I can't ruin my own life for her.

OP posts:
Annielou67 · 23/05/2024 19:58

I left my partner, believing we would come to an accommodation about dog custody and he had my dog pts out of spite, because he knew how much I loved him.

rinseandrepeat1 · 23/05/2024 20:11

Annielou67 · 23/05/2024 19:58

I left my partner, believing we would come to an accommodation about dog custody and he had my dog pts out of spite, because he knew how much I loved him.

Oh my god I am lost for words. I am so sorry.

Caroparo52 · 23/05/2024 20:17

Just got and take the dog. My ex insisted on seeing the dog at weekends until the vet bills came up and then silence

Reji · 23/05/2024 20:25

Before I left a dangerous relationship my beloved dog mysteriously ran away, slipped her lead at the park and disappeared...

I had actually organised a temporary foster with a volunteer at my local dog rescue. They kept her for 2 months until I was able to take her back. Maybe something like that would be an option for you.

If leaving her behind is the only way for you to be free then that is what you have to do.

BusyMummy001 · 23/05/2024 20:28

If you think you might in the near future have a place of your own (a flat after your joint home is sold), you could arrange a LT foster place for the dog?

Fairweatherrunner2 · 23/05/2024 21:00

Annielou67 · 23/05/2024 19:58

I left my partner, believing we would come to an accommodation about dog custody and he had my dog pts out of spite, because he knew how much I loved him.

I'm so so sorry that is so evil😥

OP posts:
simplebeetroot · 24/05/2024 07:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Ooral · 25/05/2024 00:21

If you are in Scotland, I'll look after the dog for you for a few weeks, as long as it's OK with other dogs!

Mulloffuckintyre · 25/05/2024 00:26

If he’s abusive it’s better for you to pretend you don’t want her. Then he will try to dump her on you to be awkward. Be aware he will probably use the dog as a weapon against you if he can.
You need to leave regardless though. You can’t waste your life on an arsehole because of a dog.

TipsyMaker · 25/01/2025 00:03

How did you get on @Fairweatherrunner2? Hope you've managed to sort it out 💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page