Is this the norm when taking driving lessons?

[Heartbeats18]

Arghh I need to rant. Am I in the wrong for feeling like this? What would you do?

So I have been learning to drive since February. In march my instructor told me to book my test. I booked it for July.
Anyway he asked what day my test was and I told him again and he told me today he has booked a holiday and won't be here for my test date but he will try and get someone to cover it for me or I can take it in my own car. At the end of the lesson he said he didn't think I was ready and I need to change the date. I said okay I don't feel ready anyway as I don't feel I'm learning much, I haven't done test routes and I have only practiced a manoeuvre once ( he said they only form a few minutes of the test route so I dont need to learn them yet ) He then proceeded to tell me a 'story' of a girl who he had worked with who he told to change her test date but the mistake he made was that he told her at the beginning of the lesson so she was in a mood and made silly mistakes but the week after she had a brilliant lesson and in time she was ready for her test. I felt like it was about me but didn't say anything. I also hadn't felt in a mood until he said this.

All he does is talk to me about his personal life. He asked me do I like his hair midway through driving, I said I have never noticed it. He said he always wears a cap and people presume he is bald but he's not. I replied yeah you clearly have hair.
One time I got into the car and he was no joke sat there oiling his arms up for a few minutes as he had just been the gym and he said they were sore.

He asked did I like the 80's music he had put on and I said I like any music really but yeah it's good, I previously had told him I loved 80's. He then said or do you prefer this and turned it off so I said I enjoy silence especially when I have two kids at home who are never quiet, I said plus I like it being quiet as it mimics the conditions of a driving test.

I feel stuck with him as hes the only instructor who can do a 7 am slot but I'm not learning much. What would you do??

He sounds like a creep to be honest. i would definatley be changing instructors

I'd just change instructors. He's obviously not giving you enough confidence anyway and seems a little overly concerned with what you think of him. Oiling arms? Eww.
Plus you should be practising manoeuvres they're an important part of driving (regardless of the test) and should be doing chunks of the test route regularly. It feels like he isn't really doing the job of instructor very well.

Change instructors. I had a couple of dodgy ones years ago, one who had me make out cheques to him and not BSM then he got me driving round big quiet roads and hardly any busy ones.

Another was a church nut and would preach at me. I stopped both instructors.

I would switch instructors. I had an instructor who made me cry every lesson and I made no progress. Switched to a different one who didn't make me cry once and had me passed within months

Change your instructor. My first one was like this, he was awful. He really shouldn’t be playing music during your lessons.

The instructor I eventually passed with - on the day of the test a different one from the same driving school showed up saying my usual one couldn’t make it. He was very nice and did the pretest lesson with me. I’ve often wondered whether this was deliberate on my instructor’s part to get me used to having a strange man in the car!

There is probably a reason why he is willing to do a 7a.m. slot: because other people who have more flexibility over when they can take lessons chose to have their lessons with someone less creepy and more competent.
I agree with other pp that you should try and get another instructor.

He doesn’t sound good but I do remember that initially you make progress then seem to plateau as it takes a lot of practice to become comfortable in traffic. To begin with you are thinking about what’s going on inside the car then you have to progress to everything that’s going on outside. It is quite a slow process. I took all my children out for extra practice which did seem to help .

Change instructor. Mine was just matter of fact and taught me to pass the test. You need manoeuvres. I think some instructors do it because they can't do other jobs...if you know what I mean.

How much practice are you getting outside of lessons?

You really need to ditch that guy and find another instructor. He sounds useless and the driving lessons are so expensive.

Ditch that fucking creep.

Oiling arms, yapping about his hair? What a fucking weirdo.

Do you have a car? If so, ask someone to take you out practising. Do you have a parent/partner/friend?

You can get test routes off apps and just crack on and do them without an instructor.

Her doesnt sound great but even if he was he might just not suit you, you need to find one you can gel with.
DD had 2 lessons with someone and while she said he was Ok she just felt she couldn't learn and ended up declaring she would never be able to drive etc etc.
Then we had a call from someone we had tried to get lessons with as he had space open up. We persuaded DD to give it one last try and she absolutely loved it and passed first time after a couple of months.

After several creeps and way too many lessons, I got a woman instructor and after getting my confidence back I passed first time.
Please LTB!

He sounds terrible on several levels one of them is the most important one which is teaching you to drive. Change instructor.

A couple of things, you don't need to drive the test route, you should be able to look at road signs, road markings and choose the correct course of action.

You can also get a load of information on all this type of stuff via Youtube where instructors upload mock tests and narrate where they do things correctly and also what they should have done. Off the top of my head, Clearview Driving and DGN. Also Conquer Driving for a lot of really good instruction on situations.

Better to take as much information for free before you get back in the car. This is how Ds became really good at driving, his instructor said he had never had a pupil so prepared when he got into the car, ie all the theory of how you drive, position etc.

He sounds awful
Ds has been taking driving lessons and before he sat his test he did a few mock tests on the test routes, did all the manoeuvers several times to make sure he was competent at all of them.

His test was a few miles away from where we live as it was easier to get test dates there so the instructor would get him to drive there and then do all the test routes there.

I agree that if you can change your instructor then do. If not, just be very clear with him that you like silence while driving. I was always cutting off my instructor's chat because my brain is a slow processor and needs all focus while I'm learning.

Unasked for advice re: test route practice: search your test area on YouTube, if it's a popular area, instructor/creators will have made test route videos. I realised after booking I had accidentally chosen one of the hardest pass rate areas, so this extra practice calmed me somewhat. I just pretended I was driving while watching the videos. Then You can be familiar with the "tricky bits". And spend less time with the instructor...

That Mike Leigh film happy go lucky really underlines the difficulty of learning to drive from one of the many bad types of men

He sounds creepy and crap, definitely not someone I’d want to continue lessons with!

Find someone else and don’t waste any more time or money on this clown.

I am driving a family members car each evening and and on a weekend

He sounds a bit creepy, and also not the best instructor for you.

If you think you're ready why don't you move your test date a couple of weeks later and have a go with this instructor and if you fail try with someone else?
If you don't think you're ready move it back further and change instructors now.

I wish I had changed instructors when I was learning because he just wasn't the right fit for me and actually said quite sexist things to my brother who also learned to drive with him, I think he thought women couldn't drive as well and would take longer to learn so he just wasn't giving me any confidence. I think I would have passed my test sooner with someone different.

Change driving instructor OP before he causes you to lose confidence. He sounds like he’s overstepping a boundary with some of his behaviour, a bit creepy!

You need a new instructor. You should be doing the test routes by now

It's been a while since I had my driving lessons. I do remember being uncomfortable with one instructor, because he wouldn't stop going on about himself, and just used my lesson to drive his previous customer home and to collect his next one. I didn't learn anything new with him and left after 3 lessons.

You need to be comfortable and made to feel confident. I'd say, move on.

Definitely an instructor issue. Get rid and find a better one.

I did lessons when I was in my later 20s. 2 lessons a week for about 8 weeks and I passed the test at the end.

The first 3 weeks or so was just around the area where I lived, but the last 4 weeks were almost exclusively around the favoured test routes. Multiple maneuvers on each lesson at the various points where the instructor knew they might do a 3 point turn, emergency stop, reverse round a corner, etc.

You could argue that this is teaching you how to pass a test rather than how to drive, but you need to pass the test eventually!

Looking back now I realise I had a creepy, useless driving instructor like this. Took me on interesting routes around the countryside, never went anywhere near a test route in all the months I was with him. I was his cash cow basically. Is your instructor called John by any chance?!

Pretty much every lesson I had was going round the test route in varying ways, and also doing three point turns, parallel parking, etc on every single lesson. Learning to drive is essentially just practicing once you've got the basics.

What is his pass rate like?