Is this the norm when taking driving lessons?

[Heartbeats18]

Arghh I need to rant. Am I in the wrong for feeling like this? What would you do?

So I have been learning to drive since February. In march my instructor told me to book my test. I booked it for July.
Anyway he asked what day my test was and I told him again and he told me today he has booked a holiday and won't be here for my test date but he will try and get someone to cover it for me or I can take it in my own car. At the end of the lesson he said he didn't think I was ready and I need to change the date. I said okay I don't feel ready anyway as I don't feel I'm learning much, I haven't done test routes and I have only practiced a manoeuvre once ( he said they only form a few minutes of the test route so I dont need to learn them yet ) He then proceeded to tell me a 'story' of a girl who he had worked with who he told to change her test date but the mistake he made was that he told her at the beginning of the lesson so she was in a mood and made silly mistakes but the week after she had a brilliant lesson and in time she was ready for her test. I felt like it was about me but didn't say anything. I also hadn't felt in a mood until he said this.

All he does is talk to me about his personal life. He asked me do I like his hair midway through driving, I said I have never noticed it. He said he always wears a cap and people presume he is bald but he's not. I replied yeah you clearly have hair.
One time I got into the car and he was no joke sat there oiling his arms up for a few minutes as he had just been the gym and he said they were sore.

He asked did I like the 80's music he had put on and I said I like any music really but yeah it's good, I previously had told him I loved 80's. He then said or do you prefer this and turned it off so I said I enjoy silence especially when I have two kids at home who are never quiet, I said plus I like it being quiet as it mimics the conditions of a driving test.

I feel stuck with him as hes the only instructor who can do a 7 am slot but I'm not learning much. What would you do??

Change, he wAstes time, and you aren't learning.

I stuck it out for ages with a lovely instructor, but failed 2 tests. He just wasn't right for me. Changed to a grumpy old-school chap who fixed my bad habits and I passed

Are all your lessons at 7.00 am? Because to be honest traffic conditions at 7.00 am are not typical. I would change instructors and lesson times.

Yes I have a young baby who I breastfeed so I would struggle to find someone to mind her during the day as I don't have much family around. Whereas if I start at 7, my OH can have the baby and I can be home by 8.30 am

No his name his Shaun!

It's been 11 weeks and I haven't learned how to reverse into a bay once. I could drive already before I started lessons and I knew the basics. My instructors keeps saying I'm making silly mistakes so I need to sort them first before I learn manoeuvres. He says the manoeuvres only form a short portion of the test so not to worry but I can't help but worry when I feel like I haven't got a clue.
He also takes control of my pedals and will say I'm going to do this rather than ask me to do it, it annoys me as I want to learn. Plus I drive a nissan quashai outside of lessons and I have never had an issue driving, my OH is a mechanic and he is a very good driver. I also have my 8 year old and 6 month old in the car and my OH says he feels very safe whilst driving and if he thought I was a danger he wouldn't let me have the kids in the car whilst practicing.

However I feel like my confidence in driving is decreasing and it's making me not want to drive when i get In the car with my instructor.

I’d change instructors. Possibly consider doing an intensive course if you can. There’s an intensive place near me that has a really good pass rate. It helps that the test centre is rural and there’s really only two test routes so easy to practice. It has one of the highest pass rates in the country.

I learnt with my baby in the car. Instructor said it was fine. I had an afternoon slot and so would feed change and he’d snooze in the car seat. It’s worth asking.

Where is this please? 👀

The test centre with the good pass rate is Aberfeldy town hall. It helps that there’s only a couple of roads, one mini round about, a bit of driving on national speed limit road a manoeuvre, then a tricky hill start.

The intensive driving place is https://m.facebook.com/Birnamdrivingschool/

I too would change instructors. I had a crap driving instructor for my first 4 lessons. Swapped him out to a different one and passed my test 1st time. You are paying this guy a LOT of money. Don't waste any more money on him

Even if you 'fancied' him or not, he is behaving unprofessionally. He clearly has the hots for you.

Find another instructor, change the 7am mindset, make time. You should certainly have no time for this guy.

The sad thing is i've seen this before. A female relative had much the same experience, then he starting stroking her hair, buying her gifts etc....She failed her test. He wanted her to do an intensive course involving her staying at his house. She never had a driving lesson again. Her driving would have made the world of difference to her life and career. Get rid.

He sounds like an incompetent instructor and a sleazy creep. No, that's not normal, as in, it's not remotely professional or acceptable.

I learned to drive about five years ago. My instructor talked about all sorts of stuff too, mostly his parrots, but the differences were 1) he was a good, encouraging instructor, 2) he was not a sleaze! 3) I was talking too and it was fun, and 4) it took away some of the tension of learning to drive in my fifties.

Why does he think he has to be there for your test anyway? I just checked and it's your choice.

I had a (creepy) driving instructor and wasn’t really getting anywhere, hated my lessons in fact. Switched to a lovely female instructor, passed in 6 weeks and discovered I actually enjoyed driving!
DITCH HIM

I wouldn't do an intensive, the pass rate is much lower and you won't feel like you've had enough time to actually be safe on the road even if you do pass.

Agree changing instructor is best if you can, purely because you don't seem to get on.

I don't think you've had anywhere near enough practise to be booking a test yet though.

I had a few instructors before fo sing a good one and they were utter perves, ditch him ASAP.

Change instructor - you’re paying him and he isn’t teaching you what you’ve asked him to.
I had a lovely instructor for ages who I really liked but she was absolutely shit at teaching me to drive. I failed twice then took a break for a couple of years.

My next instructor was absolutely brilliant - had a list of all the things he needed to teach/see me do and would score me on it after every lesson - this kept track of my progress and highlighted areas I needed more practice.

He would often ask me what I wanted to achieve that lesson.

I only drove test routes with him.

He would explain anything new in detail and with diagrams beforehand.

I felt like I was in complete control of the lesson and he was professional at all times. I had passed my test within 6 months.

Normally I would agree, but if OP is happy driving day to day with her partner supervising then actually just doing an intensive course and getting it done might work?

Can you practice the manoeuvres when you are not in lessons OP?

You will need to know how to do manoeuvres in everyday life, so your instructor is lazy at best. You can report him to his professional body - he really shouldn't be teaching. The fact that your O H feels safe with you is a very good sign - can he teach you?

Definitely change your instructor. He sounds useless and is using you to top up his bank balance so it’s in his interests for you to delay taking your test.

I changed instructors 3 times and passed my driving test on my first attempt after about 20 lessons. This was more than 20 yrs ago.

The first instructor had a rubbish older car with a very stiff clutch. I ditched him after 4 lessons. The second one kept putting his hand on mine when I changed gear, the creep. I chucked him after the second lesson and wondered what to do next.

Finally, I settled with a nice ordinary guy who had a Nissan micra. He was relaxed and calm and actually taught me how to drive and do all the manoeuvres correctly.

It’s like choosing boyfriends. Don’t put up with a shit bloke because you’re not sure what the alternative is!

Change your instructor! My husband is a driving instructor. He would never tell a student to book a test so early on in starting to teach you. I will get my husband to write to you when he wakes up. My husband is very good, he cares about his students safety and he will not take them to test if he feels they are not ready. I know I'm biased, when I say he is good. He came 3rd best in the instructor awards last year 🥳 but he is very passionate about what he does ☺️

My husband follows a curriculum with his students, making sure that everything is covered, everything is documented and reviewed at the start of a lesson and at the end. If there is anything that a student is still finding difficult that have been covered, he won't hesitate to go back and revisit. He will get his students to drive everywhere and anywhere not just their test routes.

I used to work in a BSM branch office back in the 80’s…it was well known as the ‘Foreign Legion’ because the driving instructors were ,mainly, complete oddities . There were a few good ones, but it was the same in all the branches I covered at , from time-to-time! I learned with my dad and just had a couple of mock tests from work!!!
I would change instructors , if I were you.
However, a good Instructor will advise you not to take a test if they think you’re really not ready. They are regularly inspected, and test failures do go against them.

I would ask him if you can practice manoeuvres. If he says no, you know he's a bad one. That's like a football coach not practising penalties because 'they only take a few minutes'. You need time to learn them! Mine always did manoeuvre practice in the middle of lessons so it wasn't an hour of parallel parking etc but I got to practice over time. A good instructor will have you driving round the area your test is in (assuming nearby) and going through all the tricky bits, junctions etc that you might encounter in your test. If he's not doing any of that, it may be worth giving him up even if it means not having lessons as often - can you have one at the weekend when you'd be doing your other practice, or have an evening one if someone can watch the kids? If you aren't progressing or learning it's not worth your time or your money.

You should have started learning manoeuvres long ago and practise them every lesson so that they become second nature. It's irrelevant that they're a small part of the test, you still have to do them properly - plus they involve skills that you are going to have to use regularly once you pass your test. Definitely time to find another instructor.

You definitely need to change driving instructor. It sounds as though he wants to drag the lessons on for as long as possible, and is clearly not teaching you properly.

No he's a creep. Definitely change instructor some of them are just strange he sounds like one of them.

I had similar, told me to book my test so I did when I could and let him know and he said I wasn't ready and that "some people just aren't cut out for driving it's just not for them, don't let it get you down though keep having lessons" wtaf? I just told him I was driving home and never seen him again had a new instructor within 3 weeks who asked why I hadn't done my test yet on my first lesson. I also had 2 lovely driving instructors the first had to give up something to do with diabetes and insulin and my last one was amazing but didn't have him long but there is some who abuse their position

So you're annoyed that he's making small talk with you?