To think I shouldn't have to justify my annual leave to my manager?

[Bubblegumtea]

Or anyone for that matter. I'm moving house and I had booked leave because I have some routine health appointments this week ( nothing work needs to know about ) and I didn't want any more medical appointments or sick pay to show on my payslips after I was ill in the new year as I know the mortgage companies look at these from when my mum had to supply loads more than the usual three to her work after she had a hysterectomy, just to confirm she was back at work basically and earning. Anyway, I've not made any mention of this at work and taken annual leave instead to cover these appointments to ensure I don't have any sick pay or anything showing up on my payslips and my god, the amount of people asking why I'm on leave this week ( this is fine if it's normal 'got any plans?' sort of chat ) and when I don't want to lie but also don't mention said appointments and say oh I just want to relax etc I get loads of responses 'you'll waste your leave', 'no point taking it', 'you are the worst for taking leave when you don't need to'... erm shutup? You have no idea what I'm taking leave for and it's none of your business. My manager even suggested I cancel it! I'm a part of a big team we, quite a lot of responsibility on me but we all do a similar job on the whole so no major impact by me being off. Aibu or is what someone does with their annual leave none of anyone's business? I never pry over colleagues lives like this!

Yanbu - none of their business
Yabu - they own your time outside of work aswell as inside of it

Wow, that's rude!! It's far more normal and polite to say "doing anything fun?" I'd go with "mind your own business!"

This sounds like normal chat to me. It sounds like making it sound like you’re being negative about your holiday and they’re suggesting you could take it at a different time if you wanted.

Tbh it probably does sound normal but it's specific, really annoying colleagues saying it and repeatedly too.

It sounds like they mean well- they don't know the whole back story about your mortgage, and unless you want to go into all that I'd just say you just need some down time and have some 'life admin' to take care of - and leave it at that.

It’s no one’s business what you’re doing with it. I’ve had two weeks off this year where I’ve been away 1-2 nights and spent the rest of the week at home.

People have commented that they don’t use their leave like that but I get a lot due to long service and I carried even more over. I’ve been more annoyed by the comments about that - lots of people sarcastically saying it must be hard to use up all your ample leave 😂

Normal office chatter IMO.
Depending on how you have been responding, sounds like you may have made it sound more "mysterious" than it actually is.

When I was working that sort of question would normally be answered with a dismissive "nothing much, just chilling" or "pottering".
Always worked for me.

"AIBU to think this was really a rude response to an innocent question?
I asked a colleague if she was doing anything fun on her week off and she said 'mind your own business!'. I wasn't prying, I was just making small talk while we were waiting for the lift."

If someone keeps bringing it up I would say “I don’t understand why you keep bringing this up, it is up to me how I use the leave I take”

for anyone different I’d say “oh various personal matters to attend to”. People largely won’t push after that, if they do repeat “personal matters”.

So why not just say you've lots to do around the house, freshen it up for the sale/decluttering/packing/banking stuff. Everyone knows what a pain in the arse that it.

You seem to have created a little drama all on your own by not mentioning the medical stuff, which of course you don't have to, but give a firmer answer and you'll less likely be spoken to about it again.

Agree normal office chatter.

They don't need to know no but just say your busy sorting house etc don't have to go into it but saying your just wanting to relax does open the doors to them saying your wasting leave.

oh god, reminds me of my old manager, every time I asked for leave she would say "what's it for" , because if its for nothing special I will have to decline it, we are too busy"

The voting manipulation is ridiculous 🙄

But YANBU, you don't need to justify.

"Just taking time out to sort some life admin stuff" covers it all, without lying, while telling them nothing.

Tell them you are going to knit a sweater and then launch into a very slow, detailed explanation of where you're going to find the wool, etc. Ensure your voice is monotonous as you describe every step. Or replace knitting a sweater with painting a wall, cleaning a floor, replacing a drain, wrapping a Jeroboam, etc. (make sure it doesn't relate to any of their hobbies or interests.)

Yes they are VU and disrespectful and that must be irritating for OP.

I would go with the needing to sort stuff out in order to move reason. Then come back saying you managed to declutter a little but there is more to do. This then sets it up nicely if you need any more appointments. Hope the appointments go ok.

They probably all think you’re going to interviews

Sounds like overly intrusive office chat. Make up something outrageous that will shut them down - "I'm having a BDSM dungeon installed".

“I’ve got a box set of poldark and will be wanking to “Rhasss” scything all week.”
<books a week off work>

I’ve never heard of medical appointments showing as deductions on payslips

Using a dull but powerful voice and looking into the distance say "I have my reasons" and march away :) alternatively tell them that your quest requires it...

Loool. I have come on since writing this thread so maybe I was being a bit unreasonable. My manager drives me up the wall nearly as much as my hormones.

Same it's something I have been worrying about though as I had several operations which were all sick pay beyond my control and they showed up as sick pay. I'm not sure if an appt would've done but if I'd queried it they'd have given me a day off to get my appt sorted ( well actually two days ) and I didn't want to risk it.

If someone is asking more than once, unreasonable.

"I'm off to volunteer as a yak herder in Outer Mongolia aa I think that we should all give something back and its more worthwhile than frying myself on a beach in Benidorm " should cover it.

Used to say sleeping when asked 'what are you doing with your leave?' Nearly everyone over 40 would usually sigh enviously and wander away wanting to do the same.