To think I shouldn't have to justify my annual leave to my manager?

[Bubblegumtea]

Or anyone for that matter. I'm moving house and I had booked leave because I have some routine health appointments this week ( nothing work needs to know about ) and I didn't want any more medical appointments or sick pay to show on my payslips after I was ill in the new year as I know the mortgage companies look at these from when my mum had to supply loads more than the usual three to her work after she had a hysterectomy, just to confirm she was back at work basically and earning. Anyway, I've not made any mention of this at work and taken annual leave instead to cover these appointments to ensure I don't have any sick pay or anything showing up on my payslips and my god, the amount of people asking why I'm on leave this week ( this is fine if it's normal 'got any plans?' sort of chat ) and when I don't want to lie but also don't mention said appointments and say oh I just want to relax etc I get loads of responses 'you'll waste your leave', 'no point taking it', 'you are the worst for taking leave when you don't need to'... erm shutup? You have no idea what I'm taking leave for and it's none of your business. My manager even suggested I cancel it! I'm a part of a big team we, quite a lot of responsibility on me but we all do a similar job on the whole so no major impact by me being off. Aibu or is what someone does with their annual leave none of anyone's business? I never pry over colleagues lives like this!

Yanbu - none of their business
Yabu - they own your time outside of work aswell as inside of it

Can you not say visiting a few older relatives, catching up with friends and sorting the house out - probably what most of us do when not at work, running DCs about or making it onto a plane

You dont need to justify, but when ive been asked I just say Im decorating the house. They generally tend to not ask questions after that since decorating is pretty boring lol

I would just say I had lots of plans to visit family and friends.

"All a bit hush-hush, I'm afraid"

"It's a meeting of Analysts Anonymous. Actually there should be a 'c' in the middle of that, but we like to be discreet"

"I'm organising the church fête two villages over. Turns out Taylor Swift is dropping in, her gran emigrated from there"

and the evergreen

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you"

People have subconscious desire to understand their context. Our attention is drawn to things that don’t fit the pattern. It’s the same instinct that makes you notice the ball bouncing towards the road.

It’s not conscious nosiness. People don’t actually care. They are uneasy around things they don’t understand and try to find out more until they do.

All they need is a context that makes sense. Until they get one, they will instinctively tend to wonder. A plausible explanation is all that’s needed.

Not everyone. But a lot of people. It’s a survival instinct.

I'm not disagreeing that this could be what's driving it for some people (though I have to say it wouldn't even occur to me to wonder why a colleague wasn't saying how they were going to spend their time off), but it doesn't mean people are entitled to information about how others use their time off. For me, expecting to be given this information is where it crosses the line from curious into nosey.

It's just normal. How are they meant to know you're taking annual leave for medical appointments. They're not mind readers.

Asking you once can be seen as normal curiosity but more than once snacks of rudeness.

The appropriate response is to lie through your back teeth with the most lurid and unfeasible concoction you can muster. If others ask create a new pack of lies.

If challenged, reply that saying mind your own fucking business tends to cause offence.

To be honest, I misunderstood the OP. I read it as taking lots of little bits here and there, which is an unusual pattern, rather than taking a week and doing appointments in it.

And yes, anyone pushing for an answer is just rude. Being asked multiple times by multiple people on multiple occasions is irritating.

Why oh why isn't the answer to the question

"Nothing planned, just relaxing and playing it by ear"

Why does anyone know about your medical appointments?

It's normal to ask if someone is doing something nice during AL, it's not to then to judge them on their response

You’ve created drama out of nothing. Nobody cares what you do in your spare time.

Sent with kindness - It’s up to you what you disclose, but I suspect you’ve somewhat bought the comments on yourself by playing down that you’re doing nothing. I’d have probably just said something like - I’ve got so many odd jobs & appointments to get done, and a few friends to catch up with over lunch. I’ve not made a set plan as such but next week I’m getting all those things done.
Because that is neither a lie nor is it disclosing what you’re doing. Appointments could be nails, hair, dentist, smear test, massage, drs, hospital. No need to detail what.
As for your colleagues they sound a bit immature and unable to read the room. Because when someone is closed off about their plans for their time off I usually respond superficially about it’ll be nice just to get a break away from work. (Which it will be!)
And finally, too many people don’t take their allotted time off which is honestly wild to me. Work to live not the other way around. 😂

At work they do . If they know you're not going anywhere and they are short staffed they are ringing you to come in . If someone wants your holiday they will pressure you to give it up . Never tell them anything.

Hi op!

I think your colleagues are concerned that they would have to do it too if you set a precedent. Probably very silly but office work is very much « organised » when it comes to how to do things.

yes, it is none of their business.
you don’t seem to appreciate them so I would just shrug it off and just silence answer next time they ask. Stay with your buddies!

👌🏼

Your colleagues were being friendly and showing an interest in you.

Your boss was hoping for more hands on board.

Since you're lying to your colleagues anyway - why not just say your parents needed some assistance with papers and sorting out a few business matters. aka something to keep further questions at arm's length.

Saying 'you'll waste your leave', 'no point taking it', and 'you are the worst for taking leave when you don't need to' is not 'friendly'.

Also, quite frankly it's tough if OP's boss is 'hoping for more hands on board.' OP's entitled to holiday and she's taking it. That should be the end of the matter.

This 100% . All you are is a number .

It's pretty standard for employers to restrict leave during peak periods. For 6 months of my year there is basically no time off allowed unless you are part of a bridal party or something massive and even then it's not for more than three days. Accountants are the same - impossible to get time off between Jan and May. It's just how it is in career jobs imo.

It might be mental first aid gone wrong. If someone is stressed and then they are using their leave to do chores - that might look like a downward spiral into burnout. In the management training they got us to take they want us to check people are switching off outside of work and taking time for themselves, but then it results in things like getting workers to give up their lunch breaks for mindfulness workshops that aren't as relaxing as they think, so we would probably be better off just taking our lunch breaks.

My son has a medical condition that requires hospital visits at least 4 times a year. On the calendar, any leave is marked as AL. If ever he's asked why he's off his reply is always "catching up.with a couple of people" 😊

I think your colleagues chatter is harmless. However, a line manager should t ask the reason for why you’re taking A/L - they should just assess the impact on the business and whether it can be accommodated. If your line manager asked you to cancel your leave after hearing you don’t have specific plans that’s more worrying.
wishing you the best for your appointments and house purchase

We used to put in our requests on line. Didn’t have to give a reason and were granted it as long as no one else had already booked it.
The reason why is no one else’s business.
In your situation I think I’d just say that you just need some time off to chill .. people who keep asking would get a get a “wow why does my annual leave interest you so much’… followed by a laugh! Or a simple ‘I will enjoy doing nothing all week!!’ Would I like to cancel and be here instead?!….. let me think?!?!…. How about NO 😂

I didn't take time off when I moved house and I am still unpacking months later. Absolutely a perfect reason to take time off.

Or just rest. Without airports and packing. Lovely!