Do you know what's in your parents' Will(s)?

[YorkshireTrailRunner]

Just that really.
I've spent the past 20+ years begging my folks to make Wills, to which they always retorted 'we don't need to, you're our only child, it will all come to you' - I'm 50, gay (lesbian) childless, for context.
Found out this evening that they have made Wills but they hadn't told me. And that they have left stipulated amounts to charities. My Will leaves everything to them, only goes to charities - including theirs- if they pre-decease me.
It's absolutely their money to do with as they wish, but there's a real chance one or either will need care. AIBU to swallow any discomfort and ask for more disclosure?

Well that backfired didnt it, op?

As you say, it is their money and they can do what they want with it.

Let sleeping dogs lie

My parents gave my brother and me copies of their mirror wills. I am divorced and have given my dc copies of my will and have arranged LPoA with my dc as the attorneys. I had written a kind of will myself years ago - when you could get a form at the Post Office - and got it witnessed by two colleagues, but after Mum and Dad died I went to a solicitor and updated it. My uncle died intestate and with his affairs in a jumble and it was a pain in the arse.

I asked a genuine question as someone who needed some advice and am grateful to all who have posted.

Perhaps they think you have enough OP?

My parents have been gone some time, but my Dsis and I both knew what was in their wills - they had mirror wills, and when the surviving partner went (ended up being my mum), everything was split exactly 50/50 between me and my sister. They also set aside a nice sum for the executor (my cousin) - to thank them for their work, enough for a week in the sun for a family. It all went very smoothly.

Yes, I'm an only child (and parents are divorced so living separately), and both have always been very open to me. I will be inheriting everything left by my DM (house and investments) and 90% of my Dad's estate (house and investments), the other 10% of which is to be split between my cousins.

I see now. I suppose it depends on the sum but obviously with care costs are rising you have to think about these things.
I would mention about possible complications but you can’t obviously force them.
I don’t know what in my mum’s will ( Dad died and she’s got everything)
she always talks how she wants us (children and grandchildren) to divide things and my answer is always: if you want us to do something in a certain way - leave a will. But I’m not sure she’s done it. She is too superstitious.

It’s a shame they have actually named the charities in the will. The big ones employ people to look at all probate records and can be incredibly aggressive in claiming their legacy. It was normal practice during my working life to name the charities in a separate expression of wishes to avoid this pressure on a grieving family.

They are like vultures. I’ve seen the effect on the families when the house doesn’t sell. Cuts no ice with them. They want the money asap.

Yes.

It's a clean 3 way split between siblings.

But can see my eldest brother causing all sorts of trouble over it and hopefully it's years away yet.

He'll have an endless amount of reasons why he deserves more than 1/3 or why he should live in the house (but won't be able to buy myself and DS out)

Honest it's a headache I'm dreading dealing with.

They can change the will at any point, so even if you know now, it may not be the final will.

dh thought he knew what was in his dad’s will. So did his mum.

nope, at some point he had done a new will, leaving everything to his brother. No explanation, no reasoning. Didn’t find out till two years after he died when his mum wanted to know what had happened and why she’d had nothing.

fairly sure my mum’s is a simple everything to us two children. There’s a chance she may have left everything to the dog though.

Yes. My DM and DF had mirror wills. Everything to each other first and when the second one dies it goes 50/50 to me and my brother, with about 40k each going to my two adult DC (brother doesn't have any children). It doesn't bother me that my family will, in effect, get a bit more than DB. I'm the one who did all of DF's probate (DB and me were both executors). I'm the one doing 98% of care for my DM. I'll be the one doing probate when DM dies and no doubt I'll end up doing the majority of the house clearance and organising the sale of her house etc.

Not really. I'm pretty sure it's mostly split between me and my sibling, but I'm not sure what has been left for my children.
My parents aren't together, I've no idea about my dad's will although I think I am (or was) the executor.

My mother asked me to be an executor of her will and gave me a copy. My siblings are beneficiaries, I am not.

My Dad died first and left everything to my Mum. Mum died and left everything split equally between her DD's. They both told us all that would happen and it did.

Blimey @Charlie2121 are you ok with that?

My mum has explicitly told me that both my brother and I are her executors and her sole beneficiaries. If either of us die before her, our children are named to receive our half instead.

My dad hasn't ever told me the contents of his will that clearly, but I believe it divides his estate up between his four children (I have two half siblings on his side). I don't know if he's specified what happens if any of us predecease him.

Often the if husband dies everything goes to wife and vice-versa

So the OP is not making it clear as the money would go to charities when both died and if any money assets were remains taking out car home fees

Care home fees in London average about 12k per month for something half-decent

Everyone should remortgage their homes at a certain age and enjot their life but doing on monthly hols

Yes. They've discussed it openly with me & siblings.

I wonder if where one sibling has no financial worries and the second is struggling, the first would mind their share going to the second if his//her parents explained their reasoning?

I'm in the position of being the former, I understand, and wonder how others would feel.

Yes my parents have mirror wills and then when they both go my brother gets their home and we split any remaining cash (there will be very little) 50:50.

My parents helped me out and loaned me the money to buy my home so I was mortgage free at 30 with the peace of mind that brings. I have paid them back but my brother will never have the earning potential I have so it's fair and in all likelihood I will give him the remaining cash if there is any.

In my will everything goes to DD but my brother will hold in trust till she's 25. If she and I both die it goes to my brother.

For many people, yes, but given she lives in a council house on a state pension, with no savings, it’s not really a problem. It’s not like there’s going to be much of an estate to deal with.

i have a will myself.

No idea - it's entirely their business.

I find the whole notion of expecting inheritance or thinking you are entitled to anything very crass and distasteful.

My parents earned it and should spend it on making their life as happy and comfortable as they can.

My parents are in their seventies, they are both lawyers (my father still working) and I'm not a bit sure they have made wills. You can't tell them what to do either, so basically it will all be a bit of a mess at some point. I just think "Sufficient unto the day" which I know is not the Mumsnet way.

My father encouraged his father to leave everything to his sibling (and was the executor). In terms of their earnings it definitely was the right thing to do.

Parents have left everything to each other, then split equally between my sister and I. I presume there will be a few small charity legacies. I remember going with them to make those wills when I was about 8