Just had a blazing row with a builder

[musicthroughthewall]

Not working for me, he keeps parking across my driveway. I’ve asked him again to move it and he said all I have to do is be polite and ask.l each time.

I responded with I was polite the first time and how about he just doesn’t do it. And wow did it escalate. He was screaming that he pays road tax and can park where he wants, I pointed out it’s a dropped curb so no he can’t.

Honestly. It got so much worse, he called me a fucking bitch. Now I feel vulnerable in my own home.

Aibu? I shouldn’t repeatedly have to ask someone to stop blocking my car. I’ve noticed he doesn’t block the driveway of the people he’s working for.

btw, I had a mild row with a neighbour when she and her husband had a company round to install new windows for their house. they had a radio blasting and it was so loud i could hear it through my airpods that have excellent noise cancellation. it was really irritating. i asked her politely if she could tell them to keep it down and she said she would, but they didn,t even though she was in the house. then she said i could just tell them myself. the argument was about this: i said no, i dont want to get into an argument with 5 men installing windows for YOUR house when i live right next door and completely disturbed by their music blasting. she's hired them, she can sort them. anyways, after the row, they turned the music down and now we barely speak.

If I am honest ...it isn't up to the neighbour to be inconvenienced. When I had my bathroom done, I parked on the road & left the drive for the builder.

you are a good person.

Love it @sumnus

You can report to LA or police. It happened to us and police traced driver and told him to move .

i would also be telling the neighbour about this and saying if there is a repeat of the parking or abuse you’ll be calling the police.

Video your interactions. Try not to confront him alone. You're in the right but aggressive men can be dangerous.

Sorry for quoting, was an accident.

The trouble is, if you get a vindictive builder this makes things worse.

My neighbour had builders in for 10 months for an extension that was supposed to take 5 months. They were cowboys and amongst other things (including fucking up the neighbour's extension): blocked me in almost daily, took offence and were rude at me asking them not to dump huge piles of crap in my front garden (which is heavily planted so they were damaging my plants), damaged my brand new car on three separate occasions... I hated them with a passion. Oh and neighbours had moved out most of the time so rarely had to deal with the shite.

I finally cracked one Saturday afternoon late May - ten months into the hell- when we had one of the first decent days of the year and they were in the back garden about 2 metres from my house making horrendous noise. They had worked most weekends and every bank holiday of the year so far which was against our council's guidelines. I send off an angry email to the owners and the arsehole, bastard builders stopped but threw tiny wood screws all over the private parking area for four houses. I tried to pick them all up and I WISH I had reported them to the police at the time. Anyway, three of us in the group of houses have had multiple slow punctures - I had three. The neighbours did fuck all to stop the inconsiderate behaviour of their builders over ten months and relations are now very strained. But I guess the £7 bottle of wine at Christmas made up for the £130 spent on my tyre repairs in their eyes, or the £450 tyre replacements my other poor neighbours had to fork out.

I had an extension built. And one of the things I was absolutely non negotiable on with my builders was - do NOT park in any way that you inconvenience the neighbours and absolutely no parking in the private parking area. I would have been mortified if my builders had damaged a neighbour's car and would have forbidden them to have parked near it again. Sadly I never got that courtesy.

Check if his van's taxed and MOT'd on the government's website. If it isn't, then 101 will listen.

Love it!

What I don’t get about the ‘I pay my road tax so I can park where I want’ crowd is that apart from being wrong (you don’t pay road tax and it doesn’t entitle you to park where you please), what does that mean for those of use who don’t pay tax on our cars? Can we not park on the road?

"Ask nicely" is so bliddy sexist and patronising.

I'm sure you didn't "ask nastily", but just politely said something like "I can't get my car out because you're across my drive. Could you move your van,"

That's not a rude way to ask, and as others have said, there's no way he would have expected man to "ask nicely".

The git.

This is the kind of Mumsnet thread that I find fascinating from across the pond. Over here, it’s illegal to park across someone’s driveway (a dropped kerb), always. Even if it’s your own driveway, you’d absolutely get a ticket if the city enforcement drove by and saw it.

OP, I’m sending bad vibes to this rude man all the way from Canada!

Ive said this to my mum before who was in a similar situation. Best thing to do when someone is kicking off is to get your phone out and film them- say nothing just stand holding a camera at them. This is legal in a public area or on your property.

If something happens you have evidence and people tend to calm down when they think that others might see their behaviour (ie there are actual consequences to their actions!)

This reminds me of the time I got up to a set of temporary traffic lights on my way to work; the lights had just turned green but the guy changing them made me reverse so someone else could pull out of their driveway further up. Made no sense, pissed me off greatly and I wish I’d had the guts to challenge him or play dumb like you.

How awful some people are @musicthroughthewall what an AH he is!

I saw others said take a picture. I did just that and 10mins later, tye vehicle was gone and never came back. The driver wasn't on my driveway or blocking it, but they were close to the opening of our narrow close so making it a difficult junction to navigate.

If I were you I'd probably get someone else to loiter about and take a picture and make sure theyre seen, but scarper before being caught. He won't know where they live, you can feign ignorance yet he still gets reported....

Result!

I also saw others said to have a word with whoever they're doing work for and I partially agree if you know them. But if you don't it might just ad oil to the fire esp if he's moaned about you and he is the only builder they could find....

Definitely report him next time and tell them you're frightened about asking him to move as last time he was abusive and you were worried he'd get violent. Repeat ad nauseum. I would also definitely complain to the neighbours, even if they do nothing at least you've made them aware and that gives you even more ammo for reporting.

If you write it then of course it's your fault!

Was going to say this. He'll care when it makes him look bad to his clients. Make it their problem too.

Where I am in Scotland, the police will only come out if you're blocked in.

How infuriating, what a complete idiot. And I would bet a million pound he would not have behaved like that if you'd been a man. Twat.

It's an offense! Next time, park you car on the drop curb. That'll teach him!

Whats hilarious is that not too long ago someone parked against the neighbours driveway. I know because he came round banging on my door asking if it was mine (erm mines in my driveway mate). I then later saw a community enforcement officer ticketing the car, so he’d clearly reported it. But thinks it’s fine when it happens to his neighbours.

With that update, I don't think it's quite as much a case of the neighbour not caring that his builder is blocking you in, but rather that he has TOLD the builder to do just that, to avoid inconveniencing him, whilst his works are being carried out on his property.

This is very common with people who naturally assume that they are the only important people and that all others can just fit in with whatever's convenient for them. It's the easiest thing in the world to give away what belongs to somebody else.

BS

There IS "ROAD TAX" and we pay loads

The builder should not be paring in front of others drive or even part block it without the consent of the owner in an ideal world
The OP should have remained polite the second time or not say anything and report the builder

Where we live in London - one can declare their dropped kerb as a 'no parking' area and if a vhelce is parked there and CEO is passing, they will ticket the vehicle even if its your - or you can ring them and they come on their little moped

I find being polite help all day long in99% of scenarios.

OP should have remained calm or contacted the CEO

Got home from work and again he was parked across my drive. Told me he had to park somewhere.

Since when did his need to find a suitable parking space become your problem to solve for him? And why doesn't it matter that YOU need to park somewhere too?

Would he walk out of the supermarket with a big bag of unpaid-for food - and then, when stopped and challenged, angrily tell them off and 'inform' them that "I have to get food from somewhere" - thus that makes it their duty to provide it for him on demand?

I can personally guarantee him that there will always be somewhere for him to park his van - as he does indeed need - there just may not be somewhere in his most preferred ideal spot to park.