To expect 3.5 yr old to use potty alone at night...

[Cato9lives]

3.5 yr old dd has been potty trained for past 7 months. Recently went dry at night around 6 weeks ago. She has always been a good sleeper and nearly always slept through 8pm til 7am, (we have been very lucky, I know!) Over past month she has started waking up around 3/4am every night saying she needs a wee or a drink. She has a drink right next to her bed and a potty in her room with a night light. She is capable of doing these things by herself but she always calls me into her room to witness her doing them! If I don't go she gets upset which makes the situation worse. Obviously I want her to stop waking me up in the night. I've bought her a gro clock and tried to bribe her with the promise of special ice cream if she doesn't wake me up, but nothing seems to be working. I'm worried about this turning into a habit that we can't break. Has anyone had similar? Help please! 😢

Is she maybe not ready to be dry all night? Every child is different but I wouldn't expect a child that age to manage that by themselves in the night.

She's only 3.5, I wouldn't expect her to manage on her own at night. Is it the light waking her?

I wouldn't expect a 3.5 year old to manage anything on their own at night. If course she will want your support. She's waking up because she needs to wee so it won't last forever. My 5 year old stopped waking to wee about 6 months ago.

She's too little.

Once she's been at school for a few months she may either not wake up at night to go for a wee, or go on her own when she does wake up.

I still have to take my DD to toilet at night at 5. Other friends of mine children were still in pull ups at that age as they couldn't wake up to wee.

I definitely wouldn't expect a child that young to manage alone. Sorry but getting up at night is part of parenting!

Maybe she's not ready to be dry at night if it's waking her? You could go back to pull ups for night?

gosh she is v young to be dry at night. Mine were 6/7 - my older one was older than that but she has SEN.

Do you know its a hormone thing being dry at night? Children develop at different ages.

re. the toilet, tricky one - she will grow out of it but she is only little still

My DS16 still comes and tells me when he's going to the toilet in the night 😆I think 3.5y is a bit young for anything that happens in the night - the night is inherently slightly scarier than day time, so give her time. She'll be fine eventually.

Your wrong to expect a Child of this age to not need your help seriously

I would try lifting her on to the pot and giving a drink before you go to bed, there may be some anxiety about making it through the night without an accident

If she needs you, she needs you - I get up to take my 6yo to the loo in the night if she needs to go - she'll go by herself at some point but she wants me to take her so I go. I think you're expecting a lot of a child that age tbh. Hopefully she'll go back to sleeping through soon

longdistanceclaraclara, I don't think the night light is waking her - we've tried it with and without night light and the result is still the same.

This is mad. My kid sometimes goes alone but she is 5. There is a massive difference in development. Sometimes she calls out to me to go with her. It is dark, she´s half asleep and she wants her mum. All perfectly natural.

Thanks for everyone's responses so far. I'm just wondering why people are saying 3.5 year olds can't use the potty by themselves in the night when they are capable of doing it by themselves during the day? Is it an emotional support thing?

Shes a baby, yes it's a support thing to want your Mummy in the night rather than doing it alone as though you're an adult.

Yes. The night time is an inherently scary place and she needs to connect with you to make sure she is safe.

Yeah this. This is the next stage of toilet training.. only one of mine were dry at night at this stage but it has the annoying habit of then waking them up. No they wouldn't manage much alone at night time....so either wear pull ups at night or persist getting up until she is dry all night.

I wouldn’t expect a 3.5 year old to go to the toilet/potty/wash hands themselves at night. I tell my 3.5 year old to come and wake me if they need me in the night. Bribing with ice cream to not bother me just sets her up for worrying and having an accident and getting more upset. I don’t want to make her think she can’t come to me when she needs help. 3.5 is still so young.

The nighttime is different. It's dark, it's quiet and it's a bit scary.

Have you black out blinds on the window in her room?

Has any changes taken place in your household in the past month? Someone new coming or going, even the furniture in a room getting changed.

Has somebody left or come and stayed. Has any extended family member been sick or other event that has taken up your attention recently?

Thanks. I don't think it's a "mad" question though. I've come on here for support and guidance.

I'm surprised at these replies, I would absolutely expect at 3.5 yr old to use the potty at night by themselves. We had a sticker chart for ds and it worked well. It just seemed like it was a habit and was easily broken.

You are around during the day if she needs you. If you aren't around and she needs you, what can she do.
Getting up at night when they need you is part of the job. She's better having a good night's sleep in a nappy than a bad night's sleep stressing about using a potty in semi darkness.
My teenager will occasionally call me in the night. It's absolutely normal

We always got up with ours at night, still do sometimes if we hear them.

Also - she will be drowsy and sleepy which makes anything harder