To not allow DS to have the colour floor he wants?

[Nc4ThisObvi]

DS is 19, his room needs new flooring.
Going to replace old carpet with laminate. Asked him to have a look on website and out of all the options he chose the 1 thing I hate, grey laminate 😂
I hate grey. I hate grey laminate even more.

He's not contributing to it financially.

I've shown him some other slightly less grey shades, more wood tone with grey but he's not having it.

Its a large room and will cost over £500

AIBU?

YABU - It's his room let him choose
YANBU - It's our house and you're paying, let him choose a different shade

I honestly think if it's his room it's his choice. My DD can decorate and floor her room as she wishes as long as she lives here. Yes it's my house but it is her room. If you don't like it don't go in the room. If he's home for a good few years it will need replacing when he goes anyway!

Can I offer you a slightly different perspective here? Your son is an adult and needs to experience himself as such. However, at 19, unless you are very wealthy, he is about to inherit or has a shit hot job, he is likely to be living with you for a while to come. This is immediately problematic as adults do not want to feel this dependency. His autonomy will be challenged on a regular basis since he will be aware (and probabluy reminded frequently) that this is your house and your rules. His room will be the only space in your home that he can claim any sense of autonomy. If you however, inadvertently shut that down by imposing your choices on him, it will generate stress (for him). So there are different 'costs' here; the cost to his autonomy or the financial cost of the flooring. When you say he's not having it, what you really mean is his autonomy is not having it; which is healthy. We all need a space we can call our own.

Either leave it as is until he leaves home, or give him a smaller budget and get him to do the choosing and the project management of getting it fitted.

Then keep the door closed if it's not to your taste.

He will be in that room a lot more than you will. Give him what he wants.

You’re unreasonable to have a hard floor in a bedroom. I’d hate it. I don’t understand why you gave him a choice in the first place if you were going to veto it.

Your house, your money. But I’d never have given him the choice. Surely he’ll move out soon anyway

Say
”oh that’s very millennial of you”
and see if that insult helps him change his mind

Seriously doubt it. I didn't move out till 24 and that was 20 years ago when things were so much more affordable.

If noone goes up to his room then what's the problem with him having what he wants?

Tell him he’s not having grey and that you would have vetoed it if you’d noticed it on the website. It’s horrible and it will put future buyers off and make the room look cold and awful. Go back to the website and choose 3 or 4 you like, then let him choose out of those. He can then choose a rug for his room if he wants to add his own touch.

I’d have thought a hard floor in a bedroom would put more potential buyers off than a grey one. My first thought would be “How much will it cost to carpet that?”

My kids are 22, they choose the decor in their rooms. I dont even see it that much - will you? Why bother asking if you were going to then say you don't like some options. I'd go with what he likes.

Really? Unless a house is a new build or has been recently renovated, I’d have thought most buyers would replace carpets anyway.

It's rented so resell not an issue.

I wouldn’t replace carpet if it was in reasonable condition. What a waste.

I rather envy you being allowed to replace flooring with your choice in a rental, OP!

It's housing association. I can have whatever floors I like :)

If he’s likely going to be there for years, when are you really going to see it for long enough for it to matter whether you like it? Even once he’s gone, are you likely to spend much time in that room? Why not just let him have what he wants?

If you have him the choice and he’s likely to be at home for a while let him have what he wants . I have had the same issue . Too many grey bedrooms here but it’s their space not mine .

It has to be a compromise as I'm sure he must understand. Who'd have thought a teen lad would be so heartfelt about grey laminate! Haha.
I'm sure if you look again together, pick a few you both think are alright, then he can pick from that list? At least laminate is easier to clean.
He is not in a position to be the sole decision maker on it. Unless he wants to pay out of his own savings? (Not suggesting he would or should) So I'm sure he'll come round to something a bit less hideous.

Cool!

Wish the management of my village had that attitude. We're stuck with grey carpet and even worse, pebbles in the courtyards. Seriously stupid idea for a place where many tenants use walkers or canes.

Yes but she asked. Fair enough if she had said these are the options or this is ,y choice but she didn’t - she asked what he wanted.

have you actually said you don’t like it and seen if you can find a compromise coming down arbitrarily now having given him the choice isn’t I think a good way forward but explaining you aren’t keen a dtrying to find something you both like seems sensible

If visitors never go up there and he’s going to be living in for the considerable future, I would just him choose the grey, how often do you see it. Or get him to contribute but keep is aside so you can change it when he moves out in the future.

I'd hate to live somewhere I couldn't make my own :(
Am very blessed with this house.

I've put laminate down in my room but have a huge rug. So maybe that's a compromise with him and will help with any sounds.

I'm going to talk to him later. I'll explain I really would prefer a different shade but if he's adamant that's what he wants he can have it.

I only go up to the 3rd floor about once a week so I guess it won't really affect me, I just really don't like it! 🤣

Good point @CHIRIBAYA

My parents redecorated my room without my knowledge or agreement as a teen, I was very upset at everyone moving my private stuff around and apparently ungrateful because the new curtains and bedlinen was expensive. It never again felt like my room just a place in my parents house. I moved out quite young anyhow as they were very controlling in other ways but if I had wanted to stay I think it would really have affected my happiness.