To not like nicknames as full names?

[newuser9632794]

Some (secondary school aged) children in my family have nicknames as full names and as they grow older I feel the names suiting them less and less.

Some of the names,

Melly
Stevie
Bobby
Ali
Ricky

AIBU to think that naming children nicknames doesn't age well and that full names on the birth certificates are more fitting?

I knew a girl called Tania Twisterton who was called Twisto. She allegedly changed her official name to Twisto or Twisty by deed poll and uses it at work. It's ridiculous.

I thought giving an alliterative name with a silly surname was not a good idea.

Both my children have the diminutive versions of names on their birth certificates. That's their name. We didn't like the long versions and didn't want the long versions on their birth certificate.

And only once have we been asked about youngest's name (never been asked about eldest).

I've never understood the fascination with having "proper" names. Both my children's names are their proper names.

If you are introduced to a "Dave" surely you just call them Dave, and don't say "but your full name is David, right? Because they have told you what they want to be called. I have this with my own name, I use my full name, never the shortened version yet prople are rude enough to change it to the version they prefer.

We also committed the mumsnet sin of not giving them middle names...

I grew up in a country where nicknames are rare. I never got the British thing with using one name.officially but actually calling the child something else. Now I've lived here 30+ years I somewhat get it but to me. If you want to use the nickname as a main name I've no issue with people doing that.

My friends son is Ben my friend used to go nuts when teachers would call him Benjamin

I find this a really bizarre thought process, that some names are superior to others. They’re all just a bunch of letters put together then you’ve added senseless rules. If you like the name Ricky but not Richard why would you call you dc Richard on paper?

My dd has a nave mn thinks is a nickname but it’s actually been it’s own name since the 16th century so it’s not something new.

I hated growing up that I had a name that couldn't be shortened. The person who never met me called me the sake as my closest friends and family.

Equally I think its important to give a name with recognised shortenings which are still a name in own right. We chose the name but they have to live with it their whole life, so it's only right they have a say over it. Think Emily, which can be Emmy, Milly, Emma, Mimi. If we had gone with our first choice of Emmie, would have given her much fewer options than going with Emily. It also grows with her. When she was little she was Mimi, she is now Ems at primary, is thinking she would like Milly when teenager and Emily as a grown up. None of these being the Emmie that we originally were going with. I'm so glad we gave her options

I don’t really understand the viewpoint of wanting your child to be called Alfie/ Beth/ Bobby etc but putting a full name on the birth certificate. How many people who grew up being called a name throughout their entire childhoods are goi g to turn around in adulthood and announce actually they are now to be known as Alfred/ Liz/ Robert?

All the friends I grew up with who were called diminutives (Becky, Jenny, Jess, Lizzie, Vicky, Tom, Chris, Matt, Mike etc) are still known by those diminutives now. I don’t know anybody who has turned around now they’re an adult and insisted they’re known by their full name, including those who have gone on to be doctors and lawyers etc.

YABU. I chose the shortened version of a name for my daughter but put the longer one on the birth certificate for the reasons you've stated. We've only ever used the short version, as far as we're concerned that's her name, and that's how she views herself. We've had difficulty getting the message across with school, some teachers seem to think they should use her "proper" name, no matter how many times they're told, and she hates it. If I had a do over I'd just put the short version on her birth certificate.

I also go by a nickname and mine's not even a recognised abbreviation of my name, it's an unusual weird name that my sister gave me when we were little and has just stuck. For years I used to introduce myself by my proper name because I thought people wouldn't take me seriously, especially at work, but then if I ended up befriending work colleagues I would want to change the name they knew me by because I really don't identify with the name on my birth certificate at all. These days I use the nickname professionally as well and, while people do sometimes ask for an explanation, no one has suggested it makes me unprofessional, and it does make me memorable.

I hate the opposite. Call your child what you want to call them
If your name is Charlotte it is Charlotte not Dot, Dottie, Charlie, charlz, Lottie

I really wanted to call dd Katie but ex-dp would only agree if we named her Catherine. I didn't want Catherine, to me it's a completely different name, so we had to choose something else.

I really dislike these threads - you know people reading them have the names you are choosing to slate. It’s just mean. Obviously people have different preferences on what names they like. No one name is going to be universally liked or loathed. But I cannot fathom why people start threads just to tell the world about names they dislike, surely knowing that they will upset some people.

What kind of half wit calls a child 'Melly' as their official name. It's fucking awful

god is there anything mumsnet posters won't sneer at
its almost pathetically amusing

Who on earth taught you this? What an utterly bizarre notion. When I was on jury duty there was a barrister called Daisy, and I can assure you that the judge didn’t look any more kindly on the formally-named accused.

It's hilarious how faux snobby and I know the proper way to do things some mumsnetters are
mostly utterly made up judgemental bollocks to make them think they are oooh so middle class and naice

Get a grip.

There's nothing unprofessional about the name Bobby.

They're not your children so not sure why it's any of your business.

My son is Tom, not Thomas. I'm not sure that's what will hold him back in life 😂😂😂😂

Get a grip on?

Loads of things in life aren't "our business" but we think and discuss them. That's what humans do. Similar to what you're doing responding to my thread.

In this case it would be Tommy not Tom.

@chocolateanddietcoke

A bit like the way you felt strongly enough to respond.

By contrast, I’d say it’s ridiculous to call a child, eg, Theodore or Robert or Catherine if the names you actually like are Theo, Bobby and Kate.

Just to reiterate, the names I am mentioning are "cutesy" forms.

Melly not Mel
Stevie not Steve
Bobby not Bob
Ali not Alex
Ricky not Rick

Tommy not Tom
Etc

Two completely different categories of names.

You can use a shortened version without it sounding child-like

Names are important. Humans judge. Often the first thing you ask upon meeting.

My DS saw a consultant at the hospital yesterday and according to his card, his name is just Ed. It says, "Mr Ed Surname-Surname MBBS, BSc, FRCS " etc.
I'll admit to being slightly surprised it wasn't Edward, Edmund, Edwardo or whatever but it doesn't make me doubt his medical prowess in any way.

Why are you having a go at everyone who doesn't agree with you?

You made a generalist comment that people judge names but names these days being given are more diverse and "unique" than ever. Not what I'd name my child but it isn't really anything to do with me and I certainly wouldn't judge someone on what their parents named them!

Don’t get me started! I also dislike names that are pronounced incorrectly - by the person given them (like Penelope pronounced as “Penny-loap” as an example)

50 odd years ago my very staid parents gave my sibling a shortened version of a name usually used in full. Virtually everyone who has the long version (it is a popular name) uses the shortened version in daily life. My parents disliked the longer version. Seems like almost everyone else does too.

Anyway, surely it's up to the individual in question. They can change their name formally or informally when they're older anyway.

Can also confirm that there is no professional disadvantage to being called by the short version of a name. The Chief Exec and Chair where I work (which is a very long established, well known professional body steeped in tradition) only go by their short nicknames professionally. They’re both in their 50s/early 60s and it certainly hasn’t stopped them being taken seriously. One of them’s got a damehood.

Obviously not going to say their actual names but thing along the lines of Alfie and Lottie.

Ofc it's up to them.
I'm simply stating my opinion.

The two aren't really compatible.

But seriously, why would people care what others call their children. I don't understand that.