Should my 10 year old be preparing his own meals?

[Bumblebun]

I have a son who just recently turned 10 and I’ve began to realise he doesn’t have much responsibilities.

I still make all of his meals, take him to school and pick him up from his childminders house, tidy his room, prepare his clothes, do his hair, wake him up and prepare his baths…I know 😖 It hasn’t ever dawned on me that he should be doing this himself and I think naturally as I do everything (single mum) I just get on with it without a thought.

AIBU for thinking he should have some more independence now?
Im just about to make a chores chart but I’m curious…

What responsibilities does your 10 year old have?

My 8year old ds makes his own lunches, gets himself up in the morning, gets dressed himself (with encouragement)m showers himself (with supervision) and tidies his room too (when asked)
My ds is able use the microwave and toaster too but I obviously don't let him use the oven, hob or kettle

@Tlolljs lol this made me chuckle

No he shouldn’t at 10. My DD started cooking her own meals at 14 out of choice. Her elder brothers happy for me to make meals but they can cook

No. He's just a kid and will have a lifetime of cooking for himself and other responsibilities.
Definitely get him involved in a couple of other chores though.

@JMSA Thank you. I meant preparing his own breakfast. I certainly wouldn’t expect him to cook any meals as of yet as I agree that’s too much right now.

I will be giving him small chores to work on though. Thanks

Honestly he still young. Can shower or bath himself. Keep his room tidy. Depends if they can reach as well to do stuff I find. Get him helping just generally found the house. He’ll be fine.

😂

At 10 bathing washing dressing their selfs yes maybe getting snacks and breakfast but not dinner hes a child your the parent you have to feed him.

My 10 yo:

-wakes up with alarm she has set in the morning
-generally the first one awake so let’s the dogs out and checks they’ve got water
-makes her breakfast - generally cereal or toast
-makes her pack lunch if she’s having one
-will go for a shower if needed usually unprompted (and then dry hair if she’s washed her hair)
-folds and puts away laundry
-occasionally helps prepare a meal
-washes pots if asked

I think, as others have said, he needs to do the basics first!

There is a difference between what the CAN do and what they routinely do. Mine can both mop the kitchen floor, hoover, clean windowsills, do laundry, and 12 year old can cook and bake. They don't do these all the time but they can do it to a decent standard when required. 10 year old doesn't really cook independently but will occasionally ask to make something under supervision.
My son also learned to iron for cubs but I don't know how thorough he is as he doesn't do it regularly.

What they routinely do is clear the table after dinner and wipe it. 10 year old assists with cooking a couple of times a week, grating, stirring, peeling veg. They strip their bedding and wash it on the morning I ask, I will dry it and remake the bed (12 is starting to do hers with me, 10 is quite small and it's not worth teaching til their arms grow!) They put dirty clothes in the basket. They sort clean washing into piles (1 for ironing, 1 for each person) and put their own clean clothes away.

Add into that, kids have different domestic strengths. We have a washer / dryer and my 10 year old has been able to look at the labels of the wet clothes and determine if they can be dried in the machine since he was 3. He wasn't in charge of the family laundry, he was with me, essentially doing a matching activity. His big sister is 12 and still moans if asked to do that job now, says it is too hard! On the other hand 12 can get herself up and ready for school in the morning without help, 10 needs reminding and genuinely forgets to take things without reminders.

I see our job as parents to run a household and raise independent adults. They are all expected to contribute to the home, and to learn skills as they go along. My husband couldn't cook when I met him (18) - he learned pdq because I had no intention of living with someone who couldn't cook. In the age of the Internet they will be able to pick things up but I think it is good for their self esteem to have independence skills. I've Youtubed loads of DIY things but I think it is less daunting if you learn things slowly in a low stakes environment.

No I wouldn't expect a ten year old to prepare their own meals .He should tidy his own room, and help set the table, comb his own hair and get his things ready for the next day

My 12 yo makes her own breakfast and lunch sometimes and sometimes helps make dinner. I still take her to and pick her up from school (this is due to SEN.) I have to help her tidy her room as she can't do it on her own. I get her to lay her school clothes out but she needs prompting, she sorts her out of school clothes. She won't let me do her hair anymore (I used to like that!) I have to wake her up most of the time as she often doesn't wake up to her alarm. She runs her own baths.

She will lay the table for dinner, put her plate in the sink, bring her washing down and help with a bit of cleaning.

But compared to her brother I've really babied her! At that age he would make all his own breakfasts and lunches and cook dinner for us all too. He kept his room tidy and did all his own laundry. I'm pretty sure he would wake to his alarm. He would empty the dishwasher too.

Lots of research on this showing that the earlier kids are given chores / responsibilities the better it is for them.