To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

[pirateblue]

I mean, it is, isn’t it? Or am I doing it wrong …?

while we COULD stay in, only go to shabby church halls, never go further than the park, that would be a bit miserable
Patronising much?? You do realise some people have no choice other than to do things like this? A farm visit or soft play is affordable once a fortnight if we're lucky or once a month. These shabby and free places are our bread and butter and certainly not miserable because we make the best of it. I can see throwing money at the problem has left you with no imagination, creativity or desire to entertain and inform and educate your children though.

Put in the graft and you'll get a lot out of it. There's millions of resources for activities to do with kids at home, but crying about how hard it is to have too tight diamond shoes is not a good look.

I am definitely repeating myself a bit here.

It doesn’t matter who it’s theoretically aimed at if the toys and other children aren’t suitable.

Teens are more expensive but then I’m working full time to counteract some of those costs.

If I wanted a miserable day of bored children and behaviour reflecting that then I could just do whatever I wanted. I do think it’s important for children to have a range of experiences and it’s nice to do things with them. But yes, it’s not cheap.

I started this thread because I was saying to DH how much more I’m spending since I am off work. I’m not moaning about it before this accusation is levelled at me, it’s simply a thing I’ve noticed. I’m constantly filling the car up with petrol, buying food, paying for activities and this and that. And it’s NEVER for me

It isn’t intended patronisingly @GanninHyem

How will it help them if I go to an unsuitable toddler group? There are people poorer than me and there are people richer than me, same for you, same for most people.

Your children will be just as occupied and entertained "helping" with the laundry, washing up, washing the car, gardening etc.

It's totally understandable. I'm the same. But I can't complain that pre-schoolers are expensive when most of what they do is in the 'nice to have' and not 'necessary' box. I think that's the nub of the thread. YABU because preschoolers are not expensive unless you make them so.

You could ditch the £12 activity and entertain them both with free stuff/at home for one day a week. Drop the baby activities and your activity outlay (not including transport) would be £8 a week, which isn't expensive. You choose to do more. I do too, so it's not a criticism. But it's shortsighted (and upsetting for some people) to suggest that it isn't a choice you're making.

Your toddlers aren’t the problem, OP. You are. You turning your nose up at the shabby or free things everyone else uses.

My son was a fractious ball of energy at 3.5 and I had younger ones in tow, so I understand the need to keep him busy. This was the cheapest age to entertain in my experience, because the most boring thing is exciting when you’re little.

A day rider bus ticket and a packed lunch once a fortnight is A Grand Day Out for a 3.5 year old. Ride the top of the double decker playing colour bingo with cars or Nice/Not Nice by waving to people, a stop at the library to pick books and read a bit, back on the bus to a park with swings, picnic lunch, bus to the market for food (the fish mongers was an endless source of amusement - especially when there were live crabs or lobsters). Walk near the train station to either chase and annoy feed the pigeons or go to Pets At Home to say hi to the guinea pigs. Sometimes get a platform ticket to gamble on train lines (each pick a platform, each time a train come to the platform you get a 5p on your pile, winner chooses the sweet) and usually talk to a train driver or two who were very friendly to train-obsessed preschoolers.

That was our alternate Wednesday for years. I loved Wednesdays because he was knackered and went to sleep early, so it was my movie night.

Your son doesn’t need entertaining, he needs something to do. This may not be interesting to you, but it certainly can be cheap.

OP this is entirely a "problem" of your own making. People who can't afford to do these things manage not to do them. Either you can afford it, so crack on. Or you want to save money, then stop spending so much money on them.

Buy a bike and bike trailer and take them out on that. You're teaching your children not to be content with simpler things in life.

This morning my toddler got up at 7. So far we've had breakfast, watched something on tv, playing with kinetic sand together, he's pottered about while I get some bits done. Now he's having an early lunch and we'll head out soon for a wander in the woods and throw some stones in the stream. Try to enjoy the simpler things.

Food is food
Entertainment is a choice
Most children have toys and a tablet for entertainment. Warmer days opt for the garden or park or even a museum if local, their public transport is free.
Limit take aways and impulse buys
Look at toys or books in charity shops
Libraries are great for books and using the computer too
Find out for preschoolers if they're are any sure start or children and families centres around to offer support, free groups etc

I'm sorry and this thread is making me feel really old but WFT is an outdoor playgroup and why does it cost £12 ?

When mine were this age we went for walks in the woods with friends to collect fir cones/ conkers/sticks depending on the season with a friend her DCs, some homebaked cookies and a thermos each of cocoa and coffee. Is the outdoor playgroup so different or better than this ? We nearly always met up around 1:30-2pm so lunch was done at home 1st as much easier.

Baking the cookies was the morning's activity in the oven with jackets for lunch ( this was a autumn/ winter activity). Also the timing meant hopefully baby would sleep for a least part of it.

If you pay for stuff the whole time so they are ‘entertained’ constantly instead of learning to play and occupy themselves then that’s what they will expect and need. That’s your choice but you can’t really complain about it, it is an effort to have kids. I have 4 and I couldn’t have afforded to pay for activities for all of them every day. There’s a big age gap between my older son his brother then the younger 2 so sometimes trying to find stuff to do was tricky. But parks, beaches, woods etc they all loved so was easy.

They played outside, we cooked, baked, play doh etc or different parks. Sometimes we’d go to a cafe for a juice and a cupcake as feeding them all was ridiculous so we’d do a packed lunch and a ‘treat’ for good behaviour. I think the more organic activities and the free ones were much more fun for the kids than some of the paid stuff. Things are much more expensive now too, 2 of my kids are adults 1 at home and the other 2 12/14 and they cost so so much more to feed and entertain now I much preferred preschool and primary school age for that.

Hi OP, your son and you sound a bit like me and DD and I felt a bit similar at this age.

The problem is where you live. I live walking distance from a big town, loads of public transport etc.

I'd have gone a bit bonkers stuck in the country relying on driving too.

You seem worried about petrol costs which I understand given the fuel inflation. Do you have a big thirsty car though? I have a 15 year old diesel Polo and the fuel costs are minimal (don't ask about ULEZ though ).

You can avoid the whinging for ice cream and snacks by bringing your own and a flask of coffee. If DS, like my DD, is a master negotiator, he's probably not too young for a sinking ice cream budget on a Go Henry or similar...good life lesson!

I second the suggestion of NT or EH membership (or whatever works round you) -- pick somewhere you can go to twice a week all year and you're sorted.

And tell DH to butt out if he's not offering to take shared parental leave, eh?!

Plus you may just have a challenging child.

I did. Now she's 11, it's really much clearer why I struggled when she was 3.

Colouring.

Hahaha 😆

Easy and cheap bakes for DCs ( if you are into that stuff) are:
Cheesey scones
Flap jacks
Choc chip cookies
Fairy cakes
" christmas" biscuits- sorry don't have another name for them.

Your 3 year old could definately help with all of these.

These then provide you with snacks when out and about.

OP you’re getting a bit of a bashing here because you seem genuinely surprised that children cost money. Of course it costs money to feed, clothe and entertain them. Holidays cost more. Wait until school age and the never ending requests for money for trips etc. Then swimming lessons, hobbies, it all adds up and I don’t really think it should come as that much of a shock.

Personally I found preschool aged children really cheap to entertain, especially compared with teenagers. Even places like soft play are so much cheaper for little ones as they don't do sessions at the ones near us during the week in term time so you can stay all day for the same price as a 2 hour session at the weekend or school holidays. My dc loved taking a soft toy for a walk and choosing which direction to go each time we reached a junction. You could do that in the car, or just start off in the car if there are no pavements near you. We loved going to the garden centre to see the fish and to pets at home to see the guinea pigs. We had an annual pass to a local attraction that we changed each year. And my dc were happy with the toddler groups in the church hall that we went to until they were in full time school, which was aged nearly 5 for ds2.

We like to blend mango and banana in ice lolly moulds and freeze.

I am just being realistic that a three and a half year old isn’t going to be entertained for two hours with a shabby selection of toys aimed at children in the 0-2 bracket.

Doesn't he play with the other children? I remember going to toddler group with DS at this age and him spending the entire time playing hide and seek with two other children the same age. At other sessions they seemed to find it hilarious making fart noises or playing floor is lava, they honestly didn't really care about that many toys.

To be honest an element may be that by age 3.5 a lot of children his age may be in full time preschool using the 30 hour funding so perhaps there aren't many of his peers there.

It is frankly a bit boring with toddlers, yes, but it doesn't last forever.

Why can't you take them both? I used to take both of mine and there is 16 months between them?

I think you can do things cheaper but it requires more effort and gets very repetitive for the adult!

I think getting them used to having days at home is good and letting them help with 'chores' and in nicer weather play in the garden. I try to get out everyday but often that is just a walk to feed the ducks or go to the playground (I must of been there so many times!).

I saw someone recommended pets at home and would agree that is a good little trip out. Only takes up 15mins but with a walk or drive there and a look round the other shops I find that's enough for a day. Add in all the meals and snacks, some playing, few jobs, bit of TV and a nap and you have survived a day!

Nursery fees are just a mega expensive time. Unless you do private school, you won’t be paying out as much again unless you fully fund university accommodation and tuition fees in London.

in general I think toddlers are cheaper to entertain with the exception of swimming. Toddler swimming used to cost me a fortune and has never been as expensive once we started the leisure centre classes. I also think you probably get better value of of things like farm parcs with older ones. When mine were little we’d do 3 hours and head home after lunch. At primary age, they’d stay opening to closing and use everything.

Mine have always done a lot of activities but have been happy to potter in the afternoon. You will most likely find that once yours are a bit older they get more from playing in the garden/a park as they’ll make friends and play in a more sophisticated way

but I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable. Food will only get more expensive. My older one eats significantly more than my 5yo. They also aren’t as satisfied with cheaper entertainment’s eg we used to love pottering around the garden centre when mine were smaller but it wouldn’t be very exciting for the 8yo now. She’d much rather do pony riding or high ropes.

Toddler swimming isn't wildly expensive... It's £7 for an Adult and 2 kids (3 and under) here.

Genuine question, how do you take two children under 3 swimming on your own? Surely you need one adult per child to be safe?

I used 1 of these
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Intex-Baby-Float-Swimming-month/dp/B004H3XB7U/ref=asc_df_B004H3XB7U/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=214515658478&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=603584787195379557&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045120&hvtargid=pla-387845035671&psc=1&mcid=b5f14aaa11963492a9b79777dbdd8cdf&th=1&psc=1
and a pool with a "beach".

Like this