To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

[pirateblue]

I mean, it is, isn’t it? Or am I doing it wrong …?

No and not everyone can afford to fund endless paid activities and outings and nurseries every day, so it's okay to stay home and encourage your kids to be content to stay home and play sometimes.

Not RTWT, but has someone suggested a flask and a puddlesuit, OP 😉.

Parenting during the Covid lockdowns was fairly cheap. We were all merry as larks staying home, putting rainbows in our window and going on one socially distanced walk a day.

Well, that's if you ignore the long-term consequences in terms of stress, depression, increased social isolation, increased economic deprivation and damage to carers' (mostly women's tbh) careers.

Dunno, my DD once played with a lawnmower box for about a week 😂

Can you get passes to somewhere in your area? And make the most of term time.
I had a toddler legoland pass for example. About £45 for a whole year for them and you. We went once a week in the summer.

National trust for the weekends.

We signed up to toddler gymnastics so that was once a week.
Then a £2 group once a week. Another day seeing friends. childrens centres round here tend to have a free stay and play session on.

Then it’s the weekend!

I agree, all these activities can be expensive and it must be a pain if you have to drive everywhere too.

My DS is nearly 4 and DD just turned 2. DS goes to preschool 2.5 days a week. On the days when I just have DD I try to keep costs low as she is still entertained by library rhyme time, cheap playgroups (whereas DS seems to have outgrown these) or a little walk around town/park. I'll save the more expensive things like soft play, gymnastics or trampoline park etc on the days I have them both as sometimes it's easier than entertaining them both at home.

My kids do love playing at home though, they can spend ages with Duplo, magna tiles, cars, role play sets, making dens. What kind of toys does your DS enjoy?

for my sanity as much as hers

I think this is it really

Toddler will be fine with raincoat, feeding ducks, playground, picking daisies every day

It was me who needed the more varied activities so as not to go mad

Can you go back to work or work more (sorry if I missed this)

You need to let him be bored. Doesn't he use toys at home. Maybe set a timer for maybe 5 mins and build it up. Set out a cardboard box and dinky cars or a tray with some sand and dinosaurs. I work in a pre school and we have dedicated free play time for a reason. It promotes problem solving skills, socialisation and most importantly imagination.

I don't find this at all. I think it's dependent on where you live and the temperament of your child though.

My son is nearly 3 and I've often said I'll look back on these days and miss how easy he was to entertain.

He's very outdoorsy and happiest at the beach, in the woods, or on his bike. Our house is walking distance from the beach, the woods, and multiple nice parks. We also have a lovely local library, a few nice church playgroups, and a café with small soft play. I think the more you take them on big days out, the more they'll come to expect it.

I don't find food expensive but I've only got the one child. He eats a lot of porridge, soups, and pastas which aren't expensive. I don't buy toddler snacks as I'm so shocked at the cost of them. He likes breadsticks and rice cakes with humous, cheese, ritz crackers, flapjacks, fresh and dried fruit, digestive biscuits, yoghurts etc. Toddler snacks are so marked up it's ridiculous.

I tend to spend a lot on entertainment for my dcs but we're in London where there's a huge range from free to eye-wateringly pricey family clubs. I've found that the paid-for activities are usually worth it, for the smaller classes, nicer/cleaner toys and more engaged staff, so I'm happy to pay for that, but I've found the top-tier ones to be poor value for money. But if I couldn't afford to pay, we could easily find endless free entertainment either locally or within a short tube ride (which for me costs nothing although most people would have to pay). The Tate Galleries, Science/RAF/Horniman Museums, Zoo, children's centres, libraries, One o' Clock clubs, tons of playgrounds, pottering around Southbank, Covent Garden, farms, local festivals, there are listing of lots of free things happening every week.

We chose to stay living in central London while a lot of friends moved out, so I don't see us as being lucky to live within close proximity to all the free entertainment - it's one of the key reasons why we made our choice of where to live. It meant we had to compromise on housing and there are various disadvantages like being more crowded and polluted and there being less community and more crime and anti-social behaviour than smaller towns. All things we might not have to deal with in a rural village but we decided that the facilities and lifestyle was more important to us.

Library - just go and read books there. I need for thyme time etc.

Park - go in all weathers. Kids really don't mind the rain.

Still not expensive, and they are allowed to eat. Apples are cheap, eggs are 25p, a slice of toast 10p etc...

It's not like they're having half a tin of beans each, or a punnet of blueberries at a time.

They're having what, maybe 2 tablespoons of beans and half a dozen blueberries? 1 egg. A small bit if cod.

Why are you surprised they eat food and you have to pay for it?

@WittiestUsernameEver This really honestly isn’t meant contentiously but what do you think a baby would enjoy at a park in the rain for hours on end?

My older one might not mind the rain for short periods but the equipment gets very slippy and dangerous when it’s wet. I do think a lot of the stalwarts of ‘no such thing as bad weather’ forget this. We went to a farm over Easter and while it rained intermittently it was nothing too bad but just getting round it with the pushchair was a slog. (No, she doesn’t like slings, she did as a newborn but now she prefers looking around a bit.)

How long does reading books take? I’d say you’d be doing well to get an hour out of that.

I think this is where things where you pay a little bit more can come into their own a bit because sometimes it’s just sheer convenience. Somewhere to change the baby, pushchair friendly and so on.

It isn’t going to rain Tuesday afternoon so we probably will ‘just’ do a park then but every day really would fast get a bit soul destroying for me if not them!

Theres definitely some competitive non parenting on this thread, though, and it’s extending to food now!

I know when I was at home with a breastfed baby and a DS in nursery (so being fed) 3 days a week I spent a LOT less

I am not expressing surprise. I know that I could feed them a lot more cheaply and I know that I could take them to free things that wouldn’t be as good but still getting out of the house. It might be interesting to see over the course of a week what the difference is.

Well, an hour if free reading is still an hour if free reading 🤷‍♀️ do you want to pay for things and complain about no money, or just do the free things even if just for an hour? We can drag these things out for ages.

Might cycle/scoot or walk into town (1.5 miles), head to library and look at books. Go outside and habta picnic lunch on a bench, then wander round the charity shops for wishlist shopping. Let the kids round around the square, walking on walls etc. then either walk back home, or get the bus.

You just don't seem to want to do the things you feel are boring? The kids won't mind going for a walk every day or the playground or whatever.

It might just be a personality/temperament thing. My almost 3 year old is just as happy playing with the big box of Duplo at the library and reading some books as he is going to the aquarium. He definitely prefers it to soft play. He's happiest outdoors which makes things cheap, but it's difficult when the weather is bad.

This winter was hard. The rain was relentless but we'd stretch the days with simpler activities. So library for an hour, then a babyccino in the café (£1) with a biscuit. We did playgroups and play dates and went out with waterproofs on as long as it wasn't completely chucking it down. He likes racing through puddles on his bike. We would go with other local mums for company (solidarity!), many of them with babies strapped to them in carriers too while they're older children ran about. We'd bring flasks of tea and snacks for the kids. Glad to see the back of that weather now.

Now that the weather's better we've done lots of free/cheap things in the past few weeks: walks in the woods, out on his bike, fishing for tadpoles and little fish (we just have a look then put them back), beach, playgrounds, play dates in the garden etc.

I didn't really find this, no. I didn't really ever do expensive stuff like soft play.

My dc were happy doing the food shop amd being the one scanning
Going to various free playgrounds
Libraries
Feeding ducks
Going to local public swimming pool
Toddler groups in various church halls etc
Visiting friends/family

Then we did lots of playing in garden/at home. Painting/crafts, toy kitchen, doctors and nurses, duplo, brio, reading stories, dancing to music/musical toys etc.

I do think its harder from 3ish when they start enjoying company of other kids but that's why preschool starts then.

But it isn’t free.

The nearest library is fifteen minutes away. So petrol. And is it worth it for what’s probably going to be no more than 45 minutes ‘entertainment’?

I am not complaining as such but I know I spend a hell of a lot more money at home! I know people complain about the costs of childcare but it pales a bit for me against the cost of keeping them entertained and fed!

Might cycle/scoot or walk into town (1.5 miles), head to library and look at books. Go outside and habta picnic lunch on a bench, then wander round the charity shops for wishlist shopping. Let the kids round around the square, walking on walls etc. then either walk back home, or get the bus.

This is exactly the type of thing we do too.

You just don't seem to want to do the things you feel are boring? The kids won't mind going for a walk every day or the playground or whatever.

I think this is true for us but we do a lot of simple activities because I don't want to traipse around soft plays (hate them) and expensive days out. My son doesn't expect any of these things and is content with whatever we get up to- as long as it's mostly outdoors!

But presumably you're driving to all the paid activities as well?

So why is it all if a sudden a problem to pay to drive to free activities?

You clearly don't want to do things like take them to the library, local parks/woods/lakes/bikeparks/ where ever for free. Which is fine. But don't then complain how expensive things are when you're choosing to do expensive things 🤷‍♀️

You have to 'normalise' time spent at home, otherwise they expect outside entertainment.

For anything further than walking distance I take my toddler on the bike. He loves that. My friend has a toddler and a 7 month old. She does the same except she takes them both in a bike trailer.

The kids love it and it stretches the day out. A cycle to the library and back is a morning's activity and keeps everyone sane for the rest of the day at home.

Sorry but no they don't. You have decided they do and now they expect the activities you pay for. Give them a bucket and ask them to collect bugs or stones or anything from the garden. Give them cardboard boxes and ask them to make a model. There are limitless things they can do at home that cost nothing.

Ultimately life is just expensive now, OP. 🤷‍♀️ I have a seven year old who eats like a horse and is growing like a weed, and whilst some of it is an age and stage thing and to be expected, overall I’m really surprised at how much I’m averaging on the basics - groceries and clothes- this year compared to 2 years ago.

God knows what it’ll be like in 5 years when I’ve got a ravenous, clothes-conscious teen and inflation keeps… inflating!

I think you’re right about that @FloatyBoaty

Perhaps the thread should have been titled ‘expensive to raise preschoolers without losing your sanity’ as while we COULD stay in, only go to shabby church halls, never go further than the park, that would be a bit miserable.

I’m like you OP in that I prefer to be out of the house with DD, and I do find myself relying on paid activities/ stuff a lot more that we probably should - the weather is a bit more like now so we’re doing more park trips and walks and stuff, but I’m not really a puddle suit/ standing in the park in the rain type of mum - I tried forcing myself to be a bit but nah.

We used to do a group/ activity every week day - although we’re lucky to have some good church hall type options so they were cheap enough. DD goes to school nursery now 4 days a week so there’s less time to fill (and she was getting bored of the church groups by the time she started at 3 so agree with you there wouldn’t be much mileage left) but we pack our free days and weekends pretty full.

She really isn’t any good at independent play when at home, it’s absolutely constant demands that you play with her non stop, either that or screen time - whereas when out and about she’s so much easier to entertain and happy to get on with stuff, plus we do have play date friends we can meet up with so that helps. I realise the independent play is a bit chicken and egg though as she doesn’t get much chance to do it so doesn’t practice it - but every time I think sod it we’ll have a day at home I end up regretting it!

Apologies for not RTFT, but some of the lower cost stuff we do out and about just in case there’s anything you can use (aside from park and library which we do also use but I think have been extensively covered!) -

Pets at Home or ‘the free zoo’ as I call it

Farm shops/ cafes - there’s a few round here where you also get to see some animals, or can buy a £1 bag of feed and go give it to them. Of course you then feel obliged to buy something in the shop, but I try to do this when there’s something we particularly need or fancy anyway

Get the bus/ train - even just one stop. Obvs depends on how convenient this is for you, but we can walk to train station, get the train from our village to the next one along, have a walk round there and get train back. DD finds that exciting enough! Bonus is that destination village has a (free) really nice play area within the shopping square that is more or less sheltered - not totally undercover but better than the park at least no mud!

Garden centres - one near us has a ride on train ride around the grounds that only costs a couple of quid and also some random animatronic dinosaurs for no particular reason!, another has a cafe with free soft play (obvs then you have the issue of needing to buy something in the cafe but go before/ after lunch and stick to a drink). Both have fish that DD likes to look at, and she does like the garden ornaments shaped like different animals. Only works if you can avoid being tempted to buy anything - getting harder now DD has cottoned on that there’s a toy section!

Toddler time at the cinema in our town centre - £5 for an adult and toddler (baby free) to watch eg a Julia Donaldson animation or 40 minutes of peppa or whatever. Take own drinks and snacks, parking is free for cinema customers. Worth googling if there’s a Light cinema anywhere near you as that’s the group that does this, although maybe others will have other stuff on too.

Museum - there’s one in our town centre that is, admittedly a bit shit! But has a great play space/ role play section and is free or voluntary donation to get in. Plus you can take a picnic and eat it on tables they have there. Might be something near you? There’s also better museums in the city centre but they never wind up being free/ cheap by the time you’ve factored in parking, transport etc.

Is there a mums/ parents Facebook group for your area? I find out about so many options that way - there’s so many places and events going on near us (just bog standard suburbia) that I wouldn’t have known existed without the WhatsApp group I’m in. Yes it’s a pain sometimes and there’s some random shit in there, but we’ve definitely found some really good stuff that way too.