To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

[pirateblue]

I mean, it is, isn’t it? Or am I doing it wrong …?

Jeez op did you not realise kids would cost some money.?You aren't coming across great here.

I think people are being a bit obtuse about costs on this thread OP.

It reminds me of an article I saw in the Guardian years ago about ‘free things to do in Cornwall with kids’ (we were going on holiday). One of the suggestions was a farm that produces ice cream. The idea that you could take kids to an ice cream themed attraction and not have to stump up £20 on ice creams even if the entry was free 😂

It does all add up and I do think it depends on kids personalities, my DD has always been a nightmare at home. She likes being out, active. This had massive advantages (never had the stereotypical tantrums in the supermarket, ever) but did mean she just wouldn’t entertain herself for ages with a box of Lego.

This is COL crisis in action as back when I was little going to municipal pool for a swim was standard basic activity hopefully in everyone’s reach. You can spend £20 on a family of four swim near us now and that’s a huge amount with limited budget.

I combed local Facebook groups for ideas, and somethings (when the weather is nice) like a local stream with stepping stones we have spent hours there for free, I only stumbled across it though as it was near a friend’s house. Good luck!

Oh I realised - not sure DH did

@pirateblue Do you have joint finances with your husband? You shouldn't be thinking "it's costing ME £20".
Do you get Child Benefit? 2 children will be almost £170 a month so that's quite a lot to use towards "activities".
To be honest it sounds more like you aren't enjoying being at home with them.
Maybe work full time if you think you'd be happier.
(I don't mean that in a bitchy way - being at home with babies/toddlers isn't for everyone).

This thread is really making me appreciate having my dc in a city. Library trips involve a 30min walk each way or a bus ride, buses capped at £4/day however many journeys you do.
So many people talk about moving to the country for “family life” but to any body here without children yet I cannot emphasise enough how much our lives were improved by being able to walk from our door and by good bus service.

"The free ones aren't good"

I think you are again expecting the setting to entertain your child. Your children need to learn to amuse themselves, be occupied with less, just make up games with other children, or yes, life will be expensive. Soft play never used to exist and our parents managed. A lot of kids starting school now can't concentrate for more than 5 mins and its because they are used to being constantly entertained! Its not a good thing.

@Countrydiary thanks. I think it’s interesting as for example we had a farm by us with animals, little play area and sandpit. Lovely little day out for toddlers but in the 3 and a half years since I’ve had DS it’s gone hugely commercial, and it’s £30 for all of us to go. Likewise swimming - I can’t take them both anyway but that’s so expensive.

I am sure some people are brilliant with home entertainment but I just find it stressful. One at home is fine but not them both.

@Pin0cchio I am just being realistic that a three and a half year old isn’t going to be entertained for two hours with a shabby selection of toys aimed at children in the 0-2 bracket. He’ll entertain himself just fine but not in those settings.

Quite, and she is driving to expensive activities anyway.

OP just wanted to moan and didn't want solutions.

I don’t even want to moan - I’m not unhappy or complaining about it, it’s meant more as a ‘how it is.’ To be fair I should have added the disclaimer ‘for me’ as clearly a lot of people do manage to do things cheaply or for free.

By the way, calling me ‘she’ in the way you just did wasn’t entirely pleasant given I’m on the thread.

They aren't..OP is choosing to drive to expensive activities and complaining about the cost of driving when free activities are suggested.

She's happy paying for petrol to expensive soft play, but all of a sudden she's "but petrol!" When suggestions of a walk in the woods is given 🤷‍♀️

She's perfectly happy spending her money on these expensive activities. So I don't really understand why she's complaining when she's refusing to entertain anything else.

But it's not how it is... It how you're choosing it to be...

You know full well you have a myriad of free and cheaper options - you're choosing not to do them. And that's fine. But it really isn't "how it is".

I’m not ‘but petrol’ at all. I’m pointing out that the ‘free’ activities aren’t free. If I did a week of church playgroups I’d save around £20 in paid for activities but still have the same costs elsewhere.

@pirateblue don't the ("shabby") playgroups do adult led activities too - like a painting table, a game like Simon Says, building the biggest Duplo tower, singing/music in a circle etc?
Most playgroups I went to had toys that the children could just play with but then play leaders (and some of the parents) would also do activities with the older children.

The activity is free.

Your transport costs aren't.

But it would be cheaper than driving to a paid for activity.

But your main complaint is how expensive everything is. You are choosing to go to the expensive activities. So let's say you pay £3 in petrol and £7 for soft play. £10 total spend.

Spend £3 to go to the woods and have a free afternoon of exploring. £3 spend.

You are absolutely choosing to spend the extra £7So this is why you aren't getting any solidarity.

So £12 goes on a Tuesday. The rest of the weeks paid-for activities are only £8?

I think that's quite reasonable tbh. Just ditch the £12 group and do all the others!

@WittiestUsernameEver i don’t have this ‘myriad of free activities’. I have the option of playing at home / in the garden with toys, going to an activity which isn’t age appropriate for one of my children, and going to the park.

That’s basically it.

OR we could do - swimming, messy play, outdoor playgroups, soft play, role play, activity centres, parks that aren’t just the playground ten minutes away, farms, lakes, zoos (I hate zoos actually but you get my drift.)

It doesn’t matter if the rest of MN go no further than the nearest church hall in puddlesuits jumping in puddles if they are happy but it’s a long day if you do that and it’s a long day as it is.

And even if I was moaning it is better than arguing.

@NuffSaidSam i only have them both two days a week.

The rest of the week I only have the baby who used to be easy to entertain. She does do swimming though which is expensive and baby sensory but I am aware and would agree these are nice to haves not necessary. When I have them both you bet I need all the stops out to keep mind and body and soul together!

No, they are not expensive. They are happy at a play park even in the rain. Food for a pre schooler is not expensive. They have a little bit of what you are having. Sorry to tell you this but teenagers are vastly more expensive!

They are but then I’m working aren’t I so not so much of a ‘net loss’

(they really aren’t happy at the park in the rain all afternoon. Really.)

You don't have a single town nearby?
Not a single place they can potter about?
Not a single open space/nature reserve/woods/community space?/river/lake/pond etc?

It seems incredibly unlikely ...

It

myriad of free activities’. I have the option of playing at home / in the garden with toys, going to an activity which isn’t age appropriate for one of my children, and going to the park.

You make the most out of those things. And how is a toddler group not age appropriate for a toddler/ pre schooler. They are literally aimed at them.

Just let them join in with what you're doing, they love that and it's free.

OMG wait till they are teens