To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

[pirateblue]

I mean, it is, isn’t it? Or am I doing it wrong …?

Mine were pre-schoolers during COVID and honestly when it was raining or cold I just wrapped them up and took them for walks and the park, we'd spend hours wandering around playing on the puddles, collecting sticks and leaves for art projects when we got home. I used to have theme days with them based on books, so we'd read the book in the morning, do an activity based on that, lunch, then perhaps watch a related programme in the afternoon.

Food is costing a bomb now though but you can get cheap snacks. Days out are so expensive I will generally only do one of these in the holiday. Swimming is cheap and takes up most of the day.

It's good for kids to have free play so don't feel you have to entertain them constantly.

And just to say my children are VERY active, one is happy to play and loves staying in, the other not so much so it's a constant struggle I get you!

Oh and a massive cardboard box and crayons used to keep them entertained for hours. They'd make a house or a rocket colour it and then play in it.

To be blunt, a lot of the issue for you is where you live. Not much you can do about it in the immediate future, but a lot of people live in places with at least one playground and a few groups/shops/facilities within walking distance and tbh with kids that does make a big difference. So it probably does cost them a lot less to entertain their children.

For us, the playground is round the corner, the nearest cafe (which does ice cream) is 3 minutes walk, a trip to the shops is 5/10 minutes walk away, the library and swimming-pool are both 15 minutes walk and the soft play is 25 minutes walk. We feel very much at the centre of a lot of things rather than having to travel to get to them. Even just walking through the town centre, looking in all the windows and choosing a cake from the fancy cake shop is quite a fun afternoon with my 6yo.

I didn't have money to do regular paid activities really when mine were that age. Even swimming was a treat. As others have suggested it was things like

• city farm
• park
• walk to charity shop & buy toys
• rhyme & sign or toddler type groups
• go on bus somewhere
• annual zoo or science museum (which was Christmas present for kids)
• ice cream & walk
• library
• baking at home
• play doh/craft
• museums which are usually free

I did find DS harder to keep busy as he would just not be capable of playing at home & just had to go out morning & afternoon. It gets easier when you can do things like footie & they are old enough to have friend over. I think you should find it easier once DS is in school.

There's far more than "shabby church halls". You're being narrow minded and snobby.

But that's your choice not to take kids to places like aquadromes/lakes/woods/duck ponds etc.

You're choosing the expensive activities because that's what you've become accustomed to.

But "entertaining" kids isn't an inherently expensive thing. Billions of children have been and still are perfectly well entertained for centuries without mum paying £5 to put them in an indoor climbing frame or £6 to play make believe in a pretend café etc.

Wait until you have teenagers! I would say toddler years are the cheapest! (Apart from nursery costs)

It's a shame you feel that way about your church playgroups. Of course the toys will get a bit battered, but ours are lovely. The kids love it and the volunteers who run it do parties for Easter, christmas etc too. I am in a WhatsApp group of 15 other local mums with toddlers the same age as mine. We met at the church hall playgroup and we're all good friends now. Thank god for church play groups!

You're describing my life with a toddler. We go to playgroups in church halls, the library, the park, walk in the woods, feed the ducks in the pond, wander around charity shops for a new toy, have play dates at friends houses.

It's simple and quiet and we love it. And it's cheap. It's not miserable in the slightest.

You're not willing to take on board any of PP's suggestions and you're going to end up with entitled children who think they can demand a big trip out any time they're bored. Which they will be often- it's good to leave toddlers to occupy themselves at home. My 3 year old knows how to potter about at home while I'm getting on with housework. He's content with a morning at the park and an afternoon at home because we don't drive him around endlessly to different experiences.

You should be enjoying the simple activities while they're young and easily amused, not making a rod for your own back.

I think the difference is if you can find another parent. I had a few friends and we would walk to and from places together, say the park for a couple of hours, then back home.
I always found getting DD out for a few hours in the morning made the rest of the day much easier. Even if we went to the non local shops for something to fill the time.

Unfortunately it is boring. I can’t tell you how many times we went to the local museum and walked around and around for something to do. Getting the bus there and back. Going with another adult to speak to makes all the difference though.

@pirateblue - I think you're focussing too much on 'entertaining' your DC, rather than having stuff around the house where they can learn to entertain themselves.

If you go to the church groups you might make some mum friends, then can arrange play dates and meet-ups at the park etc. They don't have to become lifelong friends but it might be nice for both you and your children.

Also, does your DH help pay for the children's food and activities? You've only mentioned him a couple of times, one to say he didn't realise kids cost money!

Seriously ? You either have amazingly cheap childcare or you are spending an absolute fortune. Isn't childcare around £50-85 per day, per child ?

It’s £70 a day, so for two of them £140.

But (at the risk of stating the obvious) I use that when I’m working so I’m making a ‘profit.’ Whereas at the moment everything u I spend is a minus.

OP, could you ask at nursery/preschool what your eldest likes playing with there for some more ideas of what to do at home?

If he's really physical, get him into making dens or obstacle courses from the sofa cushions (we have a temporary crappy sofa just for this purpose), or buy one of those purpose built play sofas, or an indoor or outdoor climbing frame or climbing wall or swing for the house or garden?

You say you don't know anyone for playdates - have you asked at nursery/preschool who DS plays with there and got in touch with the parents? I've done this and met a couple of nice families that way, and a trip to the park with a nursery friend or a playdate at someone's house is a cheap way to spend an afternoon.

I don’t think it has to be? We never buy any child specific foods, of course we do need more food generally but I bulk meals with beans and veg to go further. Make cheap bakes as snacks, also to avoid ultra processed food. Ours are nursery 4 days anyway, so they’re happy to chill out at weekend, go to park, for walks etc. sounds like you live somewhere without much going on or very rural? As you mentioned driving a lot. We chose to live town centre, there’s at least one toddler group a day somewhere, 30 seconds to a playground, loads of cafes etc. and there’s always free activities at the weekends.

Its very hard at first because they whinge but honestly you really do have to let them get bored and learn to entertain themselves/play creatively. Its an investment - at first its really annoying, they whinge and seem to do nothing, pester, want you to be with them constantly. But gradually they improve and then you have a four year old who'll make up their own games, keep busy with a box of lego for 2 hours, colour/draw, make things.

It helps if you:

• accept mess will happen
• are willing to do some spells of engaging with a role play etc, to "feed" in ideas
• provide open ended toys and avoid things like character themed play sets which have a limited amount you can do with them
• model concentrating on a task yourself - drawing with them, knitting while they play. Avoid being on your phone all the time while they play as it sends a message screens are the default when bored.

I have the answer…as an ex early years teacher and now new…allotment owner!
AN ALLOTMENT

Fabulous for developing kids interests and concentration. Shared project and joint ‘working’. Great for mental health, physical development and knowledge about nature AND provides loads of cheap food.

My rent is £18 per year!

Arladae i was about to suggest this.Bil regularly takes the kids to theirs and they love it! They have their own little beds they can dig & grow stuff in

You’re allowed to say no to ice cream etc, don’t make what should be a once in a while treat into an everyday expectation.

Not understanding why feeding them is such an expense -eat at home before/after you’ve been out

Food at home isn’t free!

So if I take this Tuesday which will actually be quite a low key day (by our standards.)

Outdoor playgroup for them both - £12
It’s about 7 miles away so 14 miles total, I’ll estimate that at around £3
food is hard to calculate because it obviously isn’t priced per meal (if you see what I mean) but isn’t free.

I’ll estimate £20, including food. So I’m down £20.

if they were in nursery I’d be down £140 BUT I earn more than that per day (only slightly more, mind you, and DS has some funded hours.)

So all in all I spend more than I’ve got when at home!

I would have treated an activity costing 12 quid that was that far away as an infrequent treat

Honestly it is hard and it is boring but you need to get them used to playing at home/enjoying a simple walk or scoot, engaging with a basic toddler group where the main appeal is playing with other 3 & 4 year olds rather than expensive toys etc.

This is it.

It's not expensive to entertain pre-schoolers, it's expensive to entertain adults. You need it. They don't.

I know a few people would @Pin0cchio but all the groups round here cost that for two of them and the free ones just really aren’t any good. (And they are far away so petrol costs is a factor.)

At this rate I’ll be pleased to go back to work

It’s ok to have a moan about the cost of doing stuff to entertain kids, but you’re complaining about the cost of a fairly standard meal at home -come on, you’re stretching it now and losing any sympathy or empathy.

Newsflash-it costs more to feed 4 people than 2 …and I know it’s a cliché, but just wait till boys are teens-it’s eye watering

I don't think that anyone is suggesting that feeding/clothing/entertaining children is free, just that it doesn't need to be expensive. There's a space between free and expensive that you could occupy should you choose to.

For example, £3 of petrol to a free activity will cost £3. £3 of petrol to a £12 activity will cost £15. It's easy to see how neither are free, but one is significantly cheaper than the other.

It's worth bearing this in mind when you argue against every free activity suggestion with 'but the petrol means it isn't free'. No, but it's cheaper. I can see where your DH is coming from!