Would you send this woman a link to the article about her new boyfriend?

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

A woman I went to school with around 20 odd years ago has started a new relationship and it’s all over Facebook. She’s naturally an over sharer anyway, so even though I haven’t seen her since leaving school I know a lot about her life through Facebook.

Theres been lots of very lovey dovey pictures numerous times a day with this new man. She’s tagging in him everything and I noticed his Facebook name was odd, it’s two words rather than a name. I thought it was abit odd that he wouldn’t have his real name on there, but in his info bit he’d put his name.

So I googled his name and a picture comes up of him in numerous newspaper articles about how he beat a man so badly, the man had to eat through a straw. He got 6 years in prison.

would you message the woman with a link to the article?

she might already know and be ok with it, but if I didn’t know, I would want to know if I was her.

I always debate this about warning new girlfriends of my abusive ex (verbally and emotionally) who has had a slurry of short term girlfriends pop up in his facebook before several months on all photos are deleted as he is presumably dumped or dumping them... I decide against other than the one that directly followed as I had known her a bit during our time as a couple - she did listen

Apologies I meant to say do a Claires law

I would, yes

She might be love-blind but I'd make her aware

Agree. It’s best to tell her. It might make it easier as you’ve not involved directly in her friend group

Not without a clares law request they can't. And it would need to be the person in a relationship with that person.
They can't just turn up and tell someone another person's criminal record on the say so of a phone call to 111.

There’s no children, she lives on her own.

to the poster who asked if I was sure it’s him, it’s definitely him. He’s got some distinctive features and a not so common name spelt also different from standard

'Man who once went to prison has relationship' is not something that the police can deal with, because a man who once went to prison is perfectly entitled to have whatever relationships he wants.

His conviction is a matter of public record and he has served his sentence (for a crime which was not related to violence against women or domestic abuse) and his relationships are now none of the police's business. There is nothing here for them to 'deal with'.

Having a conviction for a violent offence against another man would not be considered to mean he was a risk to his partner, or to women in general. Plenty of men with a string of criminal convictions for violence against other men would never even dream of laying a finger on a woman, and certainly not their partners.

OP, the fact that, for no reason, you Googled the partner of a woman you haven't seen for 20 years to find out all about him suggests that your interest here is more about nosiness and gossip than anything else.

YABU, you have not given her a second thought for 20 years, and now want to be a black belt level virtue signaller about her new bloke.

She most likely knows already. And like a PP said, ex-prisoners are allowed to go on and try to have a life, including relationships.

This. Living for the drama not from genuine care. It's all gone a bit baby reindeer on this thread.

Why does nobody on bloody Mumsnet understand what Clare's Law is for?

The people who can request information about a person's partner under Clare's Law are:

• That person
• That's person's family, close friends or neighbours

'Close friends' does not include random people on Facebook you haven't spoken to for 20 years.

The conviction that the OP is aware of wouldn't come under Clare's Law anyway. It's not domestic violence, coercive control or VAW.

https://clares-law.com/can-i-find-out-if-my-partner-boyfriend-husband-has-a-criminal-record/

No, it wouldn't need to be the person in a relationship with that person. From the link above:

Clare’s Law gives you the right to ask about your husband, boyfriend or partner’s backgroundWhether you’re in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, if you’re worried that your current or former partner has a history of violence, Clare’s Law gives you the right to find out.

You can make an application to the police on your own behalf, or on the behalf of someone else like a friend, relative or neighbour that you think is at risk. Anyone can apply regardless of race, gender identity, ethnicity, sexuality, disability, religion or any other characteristic.

he is entitled to a relationship, you’re right there.

Not someone who you have not bothered with for 20 years though.

OP just wants to virtue signal.

"all over Facebook" you mean it's been shared on her profile?

I'm pleased to hear the woman doesn't have children who might now be in the life of a man convicted of violence. That doesn't mean she might not go on to have children with him. She should know these facts before deciding on their future together.

She has a massive following due to what she does as a living

Are you drunk? Or making fun of people with Dyslexia? It's one or the other, clearly

It is a reference to the series 'Baby Reindeer'.

Surely all women google their partners?

Don't they?

I do.

Don't call 111 - that's the NHS helpline. Don't call 101 either. That's bonkers advice.

Well they're certainly not going to ring OP with the goss.
It's for close friends, family members etc if not for the person directly affected.
But the idea someone can ring 101 and report or and think that the police are going to nip round and detail his criminal record are crazy.

I’m going to leave her to it I think.

many people on here seem to think I have no right to let her know as I haven’t spoken or had any contact with her for many years. Even though I know……

• when she bought her house and where it is.
• her pets, their names and where she got them from
• where she worked, where she works now, and what’s she’s doing at work.
• when she has her nieces and nephews
• what car she drives and we’re it’s from.
• who her mum is, dad and step mum and numerous other relatives despite never meeting them (she tags them in a lot of things)
• what inside her house looks like
• when she’s bought something new
• what she eats on a regular basis
• when she has a bath (pictures of legs in bath with candles round, numerous times a week)
• what’s she’s doing day to day

as I said, she’s a massive oversharer, so I know a lot about her even though we haven’t spoken or seen each other in many years.

Do you know anyone she knows, her parents or any siblings…to ask them if she knows?

You could say the same if you follow a celebrity on Instagram.

I know you've said you're going to leave her to it but I personally think you should let her know. I'd do it anonymously but I'd send the article to her. Not everyone would google a name and some people are very trusting of what someone they are going out with tells them. I'd rather be thought of as sticking my nose in rather than find out she gets beaten up or worse because she didn't know.