To be a bit upset about clicky colleagues

[PrincessBananaH]

We are in a team of 10, all women in our 20s and 30s. I have noticed 3-4 of them have become quite close and often do things together outside of work, go out for lunch when in the office without inviting others and have their own Teams chat etc.
I am generally quite mature and don’t get absorbed into office dynamics (I am friendly and open with everyone but I am not clicky or bestie with anyone either) but this has been bothering me a bit lately. I noticed that if only one of the group is in the office, they’d just go on lunch by themselves rather than asking me or someone else to join them, for example.
Some of these behaviours bring me back to school days, AIBU to be bothered by it?

A woman successfully sued her workplace for damages recently, for not being invited by her colleagues on a night out

a) it wasn't because of the night out, she had already made a discrimination claim by that point, that was just cited as an example (and used as a clickbaity headline). The compensation was "for unlawful victimisation, unfair dismissal, race and age discrimination" none of which apply here

b) she was specifically the ONLY person not invited to the night out. OP isn't the only one being left out, she's in the majority.

Hey@PrincessBananaH did you ever feel like you settled in? I'm dealing with this, my colleagues are okay and I don't think they have bad intentions but they are so cliquey it's really depressing when you're not accepted and actively feel left out. Not even activities, emails going unanswered etc and ignoring.

Yes, could not agree more with this.

when I was younger, I used to get really hung up about work friendships.

One job I was in, years ago in my early 20s, I had a humongous crush on a colleague. A “friend” (lol what a joke) in the office was egging me on to ask him out, and told me that he’d also told her that he liked me.

So, I asked the guy out. He rejected me but people in the office ended up finding out about it - looong story - and it was horrendously embarrassing for a while. Turned out true he’d never saw me in that way at all, and this so-called friend of mine had been winding me up. Had a huge argument with her in which she told me I needed to “lighten up and take a joke”. We never really spoke again after that, and it has always stayed with me.

These days I try to be ‘professionally friendly’ with colleagues but that is as far as it goes, I never accept invitations to do things outside of work. I’m fine with this.

Yabu

It's always like this

Group dynamics