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AIBU?

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Original poster

What is wrong with some women!

343 replies

Alltheshoes74 · 13/05/2024 10:08

Went out for a few cocktails with my husband Saturday evening, we were sat at the bar having a lovely time. I went to the loo and got chatting to some girls in there. Later in the evening they passed us and said hi and stopped for a chat. One was local and one was not - the local girl was mid 30's, single mum. We are older - she could be my husbands daughter! I didn't notice anything odd then as we left it turns out she asked my husband for his number!! What on earth! I mean his ego is now bursting out but we were amazed at the absolute brazenness of it all. Am still horrified that someone would do that - even when i was young and single I'd never dream of doing that.

OP posts:
Segway16 · 14/05/2024 19:49

I agree the lack of specifics is odd. Surely you asked your husband to exactly what this woman said, given your outrage?

There absolutely are women (and men) like this, but if it were me I’d want to know exactly what was said, so I could understand whether I should be annoyed or whether we should find it funny.

ExpatAl · 14/05/2024 20:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

we’ve been married for 15 years and it began when we were dating and continues now. Even when we’re out as a family.
I feel sorry for some of them. They want to be loved. Some are sleezes who would revel in being the cause of a break up. So much for sisterhood.

Sweden99 · 14/05/2024 20:08

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

The thing to note is that is was one of them. It is a small minority of young women who have this preference, but they do exist.

TheaBrandt · 14/05/2024 20:32

Teen girls used to get crushes on my dad 🤮 who was a senior teacher and to be fair was good looking. He dealt with it kindly and firmly and made sure he was never on his own with a teenage girl like most male teachers he was terrified of false accusations.

Confusedandemotional · 14/05/2024 21:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Confusedandemotional · 14/05/2024 21:09

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Comeondelicious · 14/05/2024 21:09

@loropianalover exactly!! (OP also im very guilty of making new friends in ladies loos.) Regardless, wouldnt she leave HER number, if stealth, than ask for his?? especially if she wanted to be friends with you both?? perhaps he is winding you up. or... x

ExpatAl · 14/05/2024 21:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

❤️

BlueFlowers5 · 14/05/2024 21:37

That's horrible OP, I'd be horrified. Sorry you had that.

Ilovecleaning · 14/05/2024 22:01

AHG123 · 14/05/2024 18:35

The young woman who took my husband from my sons and I, 25 years ago, altering the course of our lives.

So sorry. I hope you found happiness again. 🌺

Havinganamechange · 14/05/2024 22:06

I grew up in a town like that, loads of cheap slappers with no morals.

Hagpie · 14/05/2024 22:51

A few years ago I was at a one year old’s birthday party with my infant and I got talking to this girl. She was really nice and made a fuss over my baby. Later on, she found my partner on FB somehow, and was in his inbox flirting.

She knew he was with me because I had pointed out to her who I was at the party with. Partner was laughing about “still having it” and shower me and that’s when I recognised her.

TTCournumberthree · 14/05/2024 22:54

Not just younger ones who do this, we went out as a group of couples to a wine bar. Was in there all of 2 minutes (wives stood to the side while the husbands got the drinks in) and a lady waltz straight over to the group and singled out my OH. She asked firstly ‘ooo is it boys night’ and he replied ‘no I’m with my wife she’s standing there behind you’ and she said ‘oh what a shame’ and sauntered off.
I’ve been with my other half for almost 20 years, since we were teens and I certainly wasn’t threatened by her (she probably was 10 years older than us) but I just thought how desperate. Couldn’t have even tried to catch his eye before she pounced.

we had a laugh about it but it made me feel awfully sorry for women who have weak husbands.

TrishM80 · 14/05/2024 23:10

I think they people doubting the OP are probably part of the MN coterie who don't believe a younger woman could possibly be attracted to a middle aged man!

I believe you, OP!

Dotcomma · 15/05/2024 01:20

I don't think there's any boundaries these days, it doesn't sound like it. I'd have been livid if they'd been chatting to me in the loos & then pulled a stunt like that. I think it all depends on the individual - maybe she does it all the time or it might have been a challenge - some people don't care whose toes they tread on or what grief they cause. Whatever it was, she ended up looking a twat so keep that in mind & don't let anyone get between you.

akasalishsea · 15/05/2024 05:16

Our crowd figured she was probably drunk but we don't know that because you do not mention if she was drinking alcohol, only that you and husband were out for cocktails.

Our answer presumes she is drunk..

You seem to be confident that he did not give his number to her. And even though you state you were right there with him, you can't seem to answer anyone's questions about what he said and what she said so we wonder if this is fake or AI fishing for opinions to use in other forums.

If he is flattered by a drunk woman asking for his phone number when she clearly knows he is married, your husband has a maturity problem. Most people would not be flattered by anyone being disgusting enough or drunk enough to ask for their number in front of a lover. They would view that person as manipulative and potentially desperate to get her own ego stroked or even looking to see what poor sap she could potentially lure into her life to provide steady income. Most would feel sorry for such a person and not flattered. That does not mean they want to help her after feeling sorry for her. It means they see her for the sad state she is in which is a person willing to using flattery on an older man to manipulate him through stroking his ego or her own.

If your husband doesn't realize that probably was what was occurring and was flattered then it was inappropriate to brag to you about this. Trying to make someone jealous is a sign of immaturity. Maybe he can dig deep and find out where the need to get flattered is coming from. Secure people, people comfortable and secure with themselves don't need flattery. People who need flattery or want to make others jealous are vulnerable and easy prey.

She might of woke up with a blazing hangover and not even know what she did, one of the dangers of excessive drinking. Hope she walked home or took public transport.

Mothership4two · 15/05/2024 06:00

Comeondelicious · 14/05/2024 21:09

@loropianalover exactly!! (OP also im very guilty of making new friends in ladies loos.) Regardless, wouldnt she leave HER number, if stealth, than ask for his?? especially if she wanted to be friends with you both?? perhaps he is winding you up. or... x

I commented about this upthread. Only ever known people give their number or ask to swap numbers once both keen.

Mothership4two · 15/05/2024 06:09

Some posters are commenting about teenage girls being flirty/inappropriate. I think that is a bit different to a woman in her 30s doing it. I'm sure I had a few crushes on adult men as a teen - didn't actually act on it though.

5128gap · 15/05/2024 06:32

TTCournumberthree · 14/05/2024 22:54

Not just younger ones who do this, we went out as a group of couples to a wine bar. Was in there all of 2 minutes (wives stood to the side while the husbands got the drinks in) and a lady waltz straight over to the group and singled out my OH. She asked firstly ‘ooo is it boys night’ and he replied ‘no I’m with my wife she’s standing there behind you’ and she said ‘oh what a shame’ and sauntered off.
I’ve been with my other half for almost 20 years, since we were teens and I certainly wasn’t threatened by her (she probably was 10 years older than us) but I just thought how desperate. Couldn’t have even tried to catch his eye before she pounced.

we had a laugh about it but it made me feel awfully sorry for women who have weak husbands.

That's an entirely different scenario. A woman approaching a man her own age who she hadn't realised was with someone with a mild conversation opener to test the water, is neither wrong nor particularly noteworthy.
What is, shall we say.. surprising...about the OPs situation is that the woman was both young enough to be his daughter and apparently tried to steal him from under his wife's nose.
Anecdotes about young women approaching attractive men their own age, or that they don't know are attached don't really support the likelihood that what OP describes is some sort of trend -that young single mothers are out there preying on old married men. Much as it plays into the misogyny, fears and stereotypes of some on here.

5128gap · 15/05/2024 06:42

TrishM80 · 14/05/2024 23:10

I think they people doubting the OP are probably part of the MN coterie who don't believe a younger woman could possibly be attracted to a middle aged man!

I believe you, OP!

What you mean women oursselves who are or who were young women once, and know from experience how very very rare it is that we would pick an ordinary guy our dads age? I could easily think the ones so desperate to believe women want men 20 odd years older are either deluded about their husband's charms, or older men themselves.
However I think its more realistic to conclude that a tiny minority of young women are attracted to older men. Generally if they are wealthy. Far less common if its your ordinary old husband. So while he may be (unlucky/lucky?) enough to meet one once in a lifetime, I think its reasonable to rest assured he will typically not be needing to fight them off with sticks to protect his virtue.

biscuitsnow · 15/05/2024 06:52

So while he may be (unlucky/lucky?) enough to meet one once in a lifetime, I think its reasonable to rest assured he will typically not be needing to fight them off with sticks to protect his virtue

I agree. I believe the OP too but in general, most young women dont go chasing after older men, even less men who are married. When I was in my 20s/30s my friends and I got plenty of offers from older men and we always turned them down because we didnt want to date much older when we could have a younger fitter man.

Mothership4two · 15/05/2024 08:21

I don't think she did anything wrong or was 'desperate' @TTCournumberthree. In fact I admire her "balls"- I would never have been brave enough to do that at any age. She made it clear she thought he was unattached. I have had men do that to me in my younger days, which wasn't thought remarkable or out of the ordinary.

Mothership4two · 15/05/2024 08:25

Typical MN, when many posters have an opinion, that someone who disagrees with them generally comes along to call them a 'coterie' or a 'brigade'.

EsmeSusanOgg · 15/05/2024 08:34

NotJohnMajor · 13/05/2024 18:32

100% agree - sorry, OP - random woman owes you nothing.

Show quote history

Oh come on. Random woman was being an obnoxious sex pest.

TTCournumberthree · 15/05/2024 08:57

Mothership4two · 15/05/2024 08:21

I don't think she did anything wrong or was 'desperate' @TTCournumberthree. In fact I admire her "balls"- I would never have been brave enough to do that at any age. She made it clear she thought he was unattached. I have had men do that to me in my younger days, which wasn't thought remarkable or out of the ordinary.

All married men wearing wedding rings?