Could my adult son really have ADHD?

[ADHDposs]

Hi all. Posting here for traffic.

I have a son who is 28. He is just lovely, such a good man. He’s incredibly brainy. Has a Masters degree in a complicated subject. He has a very technical job. He also has a lovely girlfriend and is doing very well in life.

The last time we met up for dinner, he told me he’d been seeing a therapist, because he felt he had personality traits which were annoying him. I was quite shocked as this is the first I’ve heard of it. Anyway, he then went on to say that the therapist said he ticks a lot of ADHD boxes and she’s going to arrange an assessment.

I was quite shocked as he was an entirely normal child. The only thing I have noticed which seems out of step with other people, is that he is an information sponge. He reads all the time and retains thousands of facts. When we meet I often feel like I’m just being bombarded with facts about anything and everything, often things that have no relevance to me. I try to change the conversation to things more relevant or fun, but before long he is finding some way to turn that into some kind of statistic he can tell me about.

Is this an ADHD trait?

Thanks for reading!

Absolutely impossible to say based on what t

Sorry sausage fingers...
Impossible to say based on what you've said here but the therapist has clearly picked up on something.

It's not at all unusual to get to adulthood before any

I give up. 😄😄

That made me laugh. I get what you were saying, that it is not uncommon to be diagnosed in adult hood.

My mum reacted in the same way when I was diagnosed (at 35). Please be cautious - I found it quite hurtful when my mum was saying things about me being a 'normal' child (she also used that word), and it took her a while to believe me and accept the diagnosis.

Yes, he could have ADHD. It's not always obvious to other people, and several people expressed surprise when I told them.

In answer to your question op, yes that can be an adhd trait. Hyper fixating on specific topics is common, as is information dumping. Unless you know and understand the myriad of ways that adhd can present itself, there is no reason why you would have picked up on it during childhood.

Individuals with adhd can often be very good at masking to try and fit in with the world around them, so it’s not unusual for people to go undiagnosed until they reach adulthood.

Thanks. I didn’t say anything about him being a normal child. I did say that he’s amazing whatever label anyone puts on him. I have some OCD traits but I do not label myself, I just get on with life.

How does this affect you, if you don’t mind me asking?

ADHD is a diagnosis not a label. I'm sure your son will get in with life, whether he has a diagnosis or not.

I recently has an autism diagnosis. I am still getting on with life as normal but it has been a great relief because it has explained a lot of things.

I know this has come as a shock but there is nothing wrong with having an ADHD diagnosis.

I did not say that there is anything wrong with it. I am looking to find out whether the fact finding and telling me facts all the time is something to do with ADHD.

Why don't you research it, instead of asking Mumsnet.

No one is going to accuse you of being a bad mum for missing out.

Why do people post shit like this?

Why not ask Mumsnet? There's a load of people with real life experience of this sort of thing.

You describe him as lovely
often adhd are lovely , sometimes people pleasers
often highly empathetic
often fixed on a subject, then the next, then the next
often ‘ scatty’ forget important dates
loose things
interrupt
struggle with a sense of rejection (‘rejection sensitivity disorder)
sometimes sensitive sensory wise

I was diagnosed as autistic in my 30s.

My mother took it negativity because (I think) she felt guilty that she hadn't realised I needed support. Instead I was a 'bad' child.

My life was hell at school, I struggled with so many things. She would shout and scream in frustration at me.

It must be hard as a parent to realise your adult child isn't neurotypical.

Just be supportive to him, as I'm sure you are; sounds like he's doing really well to be self reflective and seek support.

Honestly if look into it enough I have adhd. Oh and my dds probably do. Because people can’t have certain quirks or behaviour anymore. It has to have a label. That label is always adhd and here is some medication which you pay for monthly to help.

If it makes ds happy then leave him with it. Your example doesn’t scream adhd to me though.

Yes you did. You said he was a normal child in the second paragraph of your OP.

This resonates actually. Another thing he does is interrupt all the time. Desperate to add a fact, so over talks people.

You have misunderstood. He was a normal child. I did not actually say this to him though.

Based on your post even the most severe ADHD wouldn’t scream ADHD to you You quite obviously think ADHD doesn’t exist.

Moves from hobby to hobby
new skill to new skill
often task unfinished
messy
procrastinates
often shows understanding by giving an example of a time when they were
in a similar situation

The jumping around between subjects in a conversation is an ADHD trait.
Your son may have ADHD. The stereotype of an ADHD boy is a very high energy boy with no impulse control that is constantly in trouble, can’t sit still and so on. But not everyone with ADHD experiences hyperactivity of the body, many experience it internally by their brains going non stop.

Having adhd does not make you abnormal. I think it is wonderful he has decided to get himself diagnosed, not labelled as most ignorant people refer it to, and for him to work out in himself why he has felt different all his life because we do feel different all our lives and getting a diagnosis, in lots of cases, can be a wonderful thing.

You sound very dismissive of everyone with an ADHD diagnosis. It Is thought to be caused by actual physical differences in the brain. It is a useful diagnosis that only highly trained professionals can provide, not a label.

https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

You’re kidding! I see adhd everyday. I recognise it and see how it is just impossible for children with adhd to sit still, not be distracted and be constantly on the go.

I also see parents insisting their child has it when it’s just a crux for them to explain away behaviour.

Just because the diagnoses is so big now and so wide spread does not mean everyone has it and needs the label or the medication. Sorry you don’t like my answer but don’t jump to assumptions so quickly.