Could my adult son really have ADHD?

[ADHDposs]

Hi all. Posting here for traffic.

I have a son who is 28. He is just lovely, such a good man. He’s incredibly brainy. Has a Masters degree in a complicated subject. He has a very technical job. He also has a lovely girlfriend and is doing very well in life.

The last time we met up for dinner, he told me he’d been seeing a therapist, because he felt he had personality traits which were annoying him. I was quite shocked as this is the first I’ve heard of it. Anyway, he then went on to say that the therapist said he ticks a lot of ADHD boxes and she’s going to arrange an assessment.

I was quite shocked as he was an entirely normal child. The only thing I have noticed which seems out of step with other people, is that he is an information sponge. He reads all the time and retains thousands of facts. When we meet I often feel like I’m just being bombarded with facts about anything and everything, often things that have no relevance to me. I try to change the conversation to things more relevant or fun, but before long he is finding some way to turn that into some kind of statistic he can tell me about.

Is this an ADHD trait?

Thanks for reading!

And yes my dc adhd traits are normal for !y side of the family.
I remeber my dsis runnimg away from home out the hedge.
I posted an apple down the toilet.
My dc
1 used to run off with no warning
And licked the bleach spray bottle.
Fell in a duck pond

Other frequntly put veg up nose
Turned her back and ate part of a book

I didn’t invent your first post, which was highly dismissive of the existence of ADHD:
Honestly if look into it enough I have adhd. Oh and my dds probably do. Because people can’t have certain quirks or behaviour anymore. It has to have a label. That label is always adhd and here is some medication which you pay for monthly to help.

Saying you think you have ADHD because you had a chat with a ADHD friend isn’t very scientifically rigorous of you. ADHD isn’t a “quirk” that “has to have a label.”

This. This is exactly the kind of stuff really unhelpful stuff that people say. I choose not to label myself, I just get on with life. Well bulky for you. You clearly have no idea what it is like to live with some of the problems ADHD can bring. That attitude could have been why your son internalised all the associated challenges of ADHD all these years. For him, it was doable but for many others it can be devastating. You have no idea of the harm this can do.

Oh for God's sake stop trying to police the threads.

There are tons of women here who have a lot of experience of this sort of thing. Why shouldn't she ask for help?

@IbisDancer I had a chat with a lesbian friend of mine once and agreed I also think natural tits are sexier than fake ones. Perhaps I should 'label' myself as a lesbian!

Wow! Are we all a little bit Autistic as well? Christ, the arrogance on here tonight is matched only by the ignorance.

@DeadbeatYoda sure arent we ALL a little bit autistic? That is what I got told by a few people after my very expensive test results came through. Sure we could all be a little bit mongrel too. I might bark a few times in the office tomorrow to see if I get a reaction.

🙄

Thank you! And they’re still arguing at how “rude” I was for calling them out this same post.

Despite her original post literally stating he was a normal child.

I do the chicken dance myself, 🐓

This is yet another goady ND thread.

I need a notepad for all the labels I can have just reading this thread alone!

My ex will be sick as a dog to hear of the lesbian one as his biggest fantasy was a threesome. Damn.

What’s wrong with asking MN ?
Thats what it’s for ! Really life experience as opposed to just info from a search engine.
Why are you on MN ?

To get a child diagnosed with ADHD you need to have evidence of the condition for several years, evidence from previous reports or from school - but like all mental health conditions it has a range. My daughter has moderate inattentive adhd (is medicated during TT and goes to a lovely supportive school) and I can see it in my poor MIL who has not had a great life, but is very annoying and would have been far less so if she's had access to meds and and an insight into why she's had so many issues over the years.

To get an adult diagnosed with ADHD is very different, the criteria is much lower. DS1 decided around the same time that he also had adhd. He does procrastinate, especially when he's been up too late or had too much pc time (we still limit in our house) and obviously it is a spectrum. He came back frm school with a print out to say that it's likely he does. DD's psychiatrist assesses him and there is no evidence of any ADHD.

@theeyeofdoe your daughters psychiatrist did proper testing I am assuming? I am confused as you say it is a different process as an adult and then you say he came in from school with a print out.

As an adult I had to go for actual testing with a psychologist and a psychiatrist and it cost me in excess of 1k so not lower criteria at all just a different process.

Autism ND ADHD is part of the normal social spectrum of humanity.

I have never come across a normal person.

@theeyeofdoe
Just to clarify, ADHD is not a mental health condition.
It is a type of neurodivergence.
Used to be classified as a “neurodevelopmental disorder”.

I am glad you mentioned how rigorous the assessment is, because many who are assessed are found to not have ADHD.

Hallelujah.
What is 'normal' anyway?
It's a word that can mean anything you want it to mean.
My son was diagnosed ADHD when he was seven. He will be twenty four this year to me he is who he is, my son who happens to have ADHD.
Why do people feel qualified to label people according to their behaviour/ personality traits.

Technically the term 'normal' is actually masking if you look at the dictionary definition of the word : conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

OP, your son sounds like a smart guy, and he's emotionally switched on enough to seek out a therapist. I wouldn't worry too much about this.

The diagnosis of Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder has had a lot of expansion, but not everyone who gets diagnosed is actually disordered (or particularly deficit or hyperactive).

A person is disordered if their habits or personality are interfering to seriously impact their life. The kind of personality traits that get you diagnosed as ADHD aren't all negative, and they won't always interfere with a person getting on in life. For some people, they really screw things up and their behaviour is disordered. Others, like the OP's son, are creative, intelligent, engaged, dynamic, and the flip-side of this is that they maybe struggle follow-through, routines, focusing on boring stuff etc.

@mossylog agreed and I find it very amusing with the hyper part as I think I am part sloth at the best of times.

So usually when you have a AHDH assessment you do an initial Connor's and then a secondary one. Which is then followed up by a psychiatrist.

@mossylog no it's changed - everyone now is ADHD (brackets explaining their condition) as the hyperactivity occurs in a certain region of the cortex, rather than them.

@theeyeofdoe Never heard of connors but then I am not in the UK and I got my diagnosis as an adult in my 40's. I needed a referral letter from gp and then into the clinical psychologist with testing material, it was pages and pages of stuff and I cant think of the name and then two psychiatrist meetings one to discuss the diagnosis and another to discuss medication and all the other bits.

This is my son who is a similar age . Absolutely beautiful inside and out. He is certain he has ADHD. Am supporting him to be diagnosed.
Benefit of hindsight but he displayed so many traits as a child/ teenager but the awareness just wasn’t there.
Quick edit,he was a very quiet,placid,intelligent toddler,didn’t fit the stereotype from the 90s ,I just thought he was lazy and disorganised as a teenager.