Could my adult son really have ADHD?

[ADHDposs]

Hi all. Posting here for traffic.

I have a son who is 28. He is just lovely, such a good man. He’s incredibly brainy. Has a Masters degree in a complicated subject. He has a very technical job. He also has a lovely girlfriend and is doing very well in life.

The last time we met up for dinner, he told me he’d been seeing a therapist, because he felt he had personality traits which were annoying him. I was quite shocked as this is the first I’ve heard of it. Anyway, he then went on to say that the therapist said he ticks a lot of ADHD boxes and she’s going to arrange an assessment.

I was quite shocked as he was an entirely normal child. The only thing I have noticed which seems out of step with other people, is that he is an information sponge. He reads all the time and retains thousands of facts. When we meet I often feel like I’m just being bombarded with facts about anything and everything, often things that have no relevance to me. I try to change the conversation to things more relevant or fun, but before long he is finding some way to turn that into some kind of statistic he can tell me about.

Is this an ADHD trait?

Thanks for reading!

Similar situation in our extended family. Our DNephew (29) is going for assessment and also my BiL (not related at all)who most definitely has some major common traits.
Some people don't want or need a diagnosis/label but others find it really useful, to understand their feelings/actions/quirks. Bil grew being told he was thick and he believed it. I think he now has some 'grief' over this for what his life could have been like with a childhood diagnosis and support.
I have a friend who works in the department where childhood ND assessments are processed. So many young people are applying for assessments the waiting lists are 3+ yrs.
Some people like your son will get on in life and achieve well, so others can find it difficult to believe they have any diagnosis. But with hindsight uou can often see little things in their childhood that could point in that direction. (I often have a young lad who can talk to me for 45 minutes about a single topic that he is interested such as lights on police cars/codes for different crimes/aeroplanes going over )

Well I’ve been honest and answered everything you threw at me. A few other posters didn’t like it either 😂

Next time you disagree with someone don’t assume and make judgy, stereotypes. You were way off the mark.

Your son sounds like an amazing, brainy person with quirks and foibles. Does he need a diagnosis? If he get a diagnosis, will he be obliged to tell his employer?

He could be, although one of the pre-requisites for a diagnosis is evidence that is was an issue in childhood. I'm currently going through an adult diagnosis and the psychologist is interviewing my mum soon to discuss how I was as a child and it's evident in my school reports that it was an issue. My mum was on board as soon as I said I had concerns - she didn't know what ADHD was but as soon as I asked her about what I was like as a child and explained the difficulties she agreed it was something I should look into. I'm not saying he's definitely not if you found his childhood entirely normal, but just saying childhood is something they will explore as part of the diagnosis xx

There's lots of reasons to be assessed and it really pisses me off when people start talking about labels and why do they need a diagnosis.

Knowing why you struggle can be so helpful. People go through years of therapy thinking they're broken because it doesn't work.

People can struggle in jobs and relationships and not understand why.

Some might need medication. They might have been on various antidepressants which weren't helping in the way they hoped.

Some are in financial trouble because of impulsive spending, will make reckless decisions, overeat, thrill seeking, drink.

ADHD is so much more than losing things and lacking focus. It can be life destroying without understanding, support and treatment.

That might not be the case for the OP's son but the fact that he sought therapy in the first place indicates some of this might be true for him.

It’s up to her son whether to be assessed/seek diagnosis. He has already sought therapy. As a 28 year old man, he can decide that for himself, mummy doesn’t get to decide.

You don’t have to disclose anything to your employer. Obviously it will help if you ask for any reasonable adjustments.

In the SEN Code of Practice it is listed under ‘social, emotional and mental health needs.’

I think now it neurodiversity is requested to be disclosed to DVLA and insurance.
but hopefully the off set of access
to work/ reasonable adjustments in the work place would be beneficial

You do not have to report neurodivergence to the DVLA or declare it to your insurer, it is not a reportable condition.

Not in itself, no, but you do have to report ADHD if it - or any medication you take for it - has a detrimental effect on your ability to drive safely.

That's true of any condition though and not specific to neurodivergence. What was said in the post I commented on is that neurodiversity has to be reported to the DVLA and any insurance companies which is not the case.

Sorry was that second bit towards yourself? As you were the one writing judgey stereotypes regarding ADHD; which is why several posters have had issues with what you wrote and tried to better inform you on ADHD:

”Because people can’t have certain quirks or behaviour anymore. It has to have a label. That label is always adhd and here is some medication which you pay for monthly to help.”- you said ADHD is just a label for quirks

“I see adhd everyday. I recognise it and see how it is just impossible for children with adhd to sit still, not be distracted and be constantly on the go. I also see parents insisting their child has it when it’s just a crux for them to explain away behaviour. Just because the diagnoses is so big now and so wide spread does not mean everyone has it and needs the label or the medication.”

• you repeated the most common stereotypical behaviour of ADHD and implied anyone not matching this, it is just a label for a crutch to explain away behaviour.

All I and others have done is call you out on your judgey stereotypes. Hth

Ok? ADHD is still not a mental health condition.

Yes you’ve just repeated what has been said already and I have answered that point.

Read through the thread before commenting next time. Hth.

Get your on to try this test https://www.adhdassessment.org/adhdtest

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, after my own DC was diagnosed after their school recommended it. Many of the things the psychiatrist DC saw resonated with me and I followed up. It manifests very differently in women and girls, and people always assume it’s about physical hyperactivity and that’s not always the case.

My parents were very much ‘don’t say anything, you’ll be stigmatised’ but being assessed, diagnosed and subsequently appropriately medicated has made an extraordinary difference to my life.

If he’s saying it’s an issue, believe him. It’s his life and his health.