To think that it’s ridiculous to approach a stranger wearing headphones?

[Barbarella73]

I get approached by random people all
the time, for directions or a conversation - surely it would make more sense to approach someone that can actually hear what you’re saying and isn’t engrossed in a podcast, audio book or music? There are lots of people walking/standing around not wearing very visible headphones!

I can't see the issue. Just put it on pause and take them off?

You might look like a safer person to approach and ask over one of the others nearby?

YANBU. Fucks me right off.
And its always women wearing headphones that get approached, not men.

I don't stop, I smile and keep walking.

YANBU and imo its deliberate. They want to disrupt what you are doing. I've even had men pull my headphones off to get my attention.

Yes, it annoys me too. The amount of times I have to take them out because some randomer stops me to ask a question. I don't want to talk that's partly why I have them.

Why should they though? Nobody is entitled to anyone else's time and attention.

You're a friendly bunch

Yanbu. I "approached someone wearing headphones" on the train to ask him if he could possibly move over a little, as I have a disability and needed to stand closer to the pole for stability.

Thankfully he was able to do so.

Do you mean the big over ear obvious headphones? If so, then I do understand it makes more sense, all things being equal to approach someone else. But if you mean subtle in ear ones, then tough luck! You can't opt out of society with a bit of plastic.

I got approached by a man wanting to use my car to jump start his.

I was taking my children to an activity. I don't know why he asked me as I was in a rush. I had to decline or my children would have been late, plus the car was a lease and I often hear of cars breaking down having jump started other cars.

I don't know why the people who are the most unsuitable to be asked, get asked, sometimes!

Yanbu at all.

I love sticking my headphones on and taking my dogs out for their walk.

Every single time I get approached. One guy does it so much I literally just ignore him now and he SCREAMED how rude I was, as though he is entitled to my time and attention because he wants it.

I'm normally wearing headphones if I'm out walking. Can't say I get stopped much at all but if someone does then it isn't something that would really bother me. I normally have them on low enough that I can still hear traffic etc anyway.

You could just wear this too, just to make it absolutely clear

Or, maybe, the other way round. Why would you wear headphones when you're out and about in public around people who may need or <clutches pearls> want to speak to you?

Women are the Worlds Mummy, how dare we be unavailable?

My dh gets approached too, as far as I can see, he's not a mummy

I wear AirPods when I’m out and about, covered by my hair, and I don’t get hassled. Would it be worth switching to something more discreet.

Obviously you should be able to wear anything you want, but imo the kind of people who feel compelled to demand the attention of disinterested women are not particularly safe and I’d rather fly under their radar.

Anyone remember the Dan Bacon controversy when he gave a guide on how to be a weird creepy bloke approach women wearing headphones? He got his arse handed to him.

Men, maybe talk to one another rather than women wearing headphones. Sometimes we're wearing them so we DON'T have to talk to you. Also see: reading a book, staring out of the window, pretending to be asleep.

But he didn’t know any of that stuff about your kids’ activities or your lease car. He wasn’t being unreasonable to ask you. It’s really not the same as approaching someone who is wearing headphones for a chat.

In that case, the guy with headphones on was literally the only person in the world who could give you the assistance you needed, so that's fair enough.

So people asking directions are predatory now?

I've approached people wearing headphones if I've needed to ask a stranger for help with directions or whatever.

I don't do it based on whether they have headphones or not, I base it on who looks like the most approachable.

Obviously you cant always know who will be helpful just by the look of them but I still go with a gut feeling based on how they present themselves.

Let’s hope none of these people ever need to ask for help themselves. It feels like we’re really lacking in benevolence these days.

Maybe they would just ask someone who wasn't wearing headphones.

Large, very visible, over the ear headphones.

That’s interesting - I never thought of it as opting out of society, but rather trying to be in it in a way that feels comfortable for me.