To think that it’s ridiculous to approach a stranger wearing headphones?

[Barbarella73]

I get approached by random people all
the time, for directions or a conversation - surely it would make more sense to approach someone that can actually hear what you’re saying and isn’t engrossed in a podcast, audio book or music? There are lots of people walking/standing around not wearing very visible headphones!

What if everyone is wearing headphones? Also, someone could not be wearing headphones but enjoying singing a song in their head and not appreciate being interrupted. You sound precious.

I pulled over a man in the street with earphones walking his dog once - to see where he got the breed 😄 he was crazily nice about it.

It’s been a signal of “I’m not to be bothered” for years. It is nothing new. Why would you talk to someone barring an emergency or need of assistance who likely cannot hear you?

Unless I'm with someone else, I don't leave the house without my pods. It helps me deal with too many noises/anxiety.
I've never been stopped by anybody though, so I guess my RBF is working well 😁
If someone did stop me I'm unsure if I would interact or not. I think it would depend on them/me/my mood.

I think most people wearing head phones in public are wearing the type that mean you can hear your surroundings as well as your music. Its a bit irresponsible not to.

An excellent side effect of so many people wearing headphones is if your baby is screaming the place down, very few people are remotely bothered. When I realised this, I found it so much less stressful when one of my children kicked off. No more dying of guilt and worrying that everyone hates you.

Omg this happened to me at the station. I leapt out of my skin and went to punch him. He was some cocky twat who apparently needed some rail information. In this case, it was simply sheer male arrogance. He thought he was so excellent that I needed to be interrupted so he could grace me with his banter under the guise of needing information. Jesus, I’m still shocked about it.

My sets do have that function where I listen and hear my surroundings but how many people actually use that function who knows.

I still wouldn’t approach someone wearing headphones, ear buds unless necessary.

YABU. Wearing headphones doesn’t mean you can opt out of the normal to and fro of a civilised community. I would fully expect you to remove your headphones to help with a polite enquiry. It’s really rude of you otherwise.

https://www.times-series.co.uk/news/national/24295028.sword-attack-victim-had-headphones-in-not-hear-warnings---neighbour/

Why is it civilised to interrupt someone because you've decided you need something from them? The people doing the approaching are the rude ones imo.

I'm a carer, I get maybe 2 hours a day when I drop my dd at school, and those 2 hours are the only thing keeping me sane a lot of the time. Why should someone else wants come before my need for space?

I smile and say hi to people in passing, and stop to speak to people I know, everyone who requires anything else can go find one of the many other people who love to stop and yap to strangers, I'm not the one, and the fact I wear the most obvious headphones I can find should be a massive giveaway to that.

I wouldn’t mind being interrupted to help someone
i do get that people put them in and do not wish to be disturbed. My colleague in the office does it . Sits with them in all day 😂 I only interrupt her if I really need to. I must be really annoying 😂🤣

Not the point of the thread, but things I’ve needed to tell people wearing headphones (who are completely oblivious to their environment) include:

• ”it’s your turn to move to an empty self check-out in the supermarket queue and you’re holding us all up
• “you’re blocking an empty seat on the tube that I really would like to get to”
• and there’s more

I dunno. Complete tuning out of the environment does seem rude in some circumstances.
I’ve had to tentatively shake the arm of people or tap them on the shoulder in the scenarios above.

And then am I the rude one?
will be doing it anyway, though

It's just people being friendly. They obviously think you look like a friendly face.

Ugh, YANBU. I was in my front garden yesterday watering plants (takes ages so I stuck on a podcast) and a man stopped and started yelling over the fence. When I eventually noticed him and took them off - the very important thing he said about 4 times was "I bet you didn't think you'd be watering the plants this week after last week's weather!"

You're just the mountain he's yelling at, a prop. But a prop that has to give him attention.

I like to hear what's going on around me when I'm out in public. I think I'd feel on edge if I was listening to something with headphones on.

Anyway... lol

Funnily enough I often see him walk past when DH is doing the same job and he doesn't even make eye contact...

That's because your DH is a fully formed human @SecondHandFurniture

DH is a shaven-headed, triangular-shaped, 6-footer with a 'rugby nose' is probably the politest way of putting it. NO randoms ever talk to him. Ever. Which is odd because he's much nicer than me.

Not just women at all. My OH does a lot of walking (to/from work, lunchtime walks etc) and constantly complains about random people starting inane small talk conversations etc. He wears big headphones to send a "sod off" message to random people and they're still so self absorbed, they don't get the message. He is convinced some of them do it deliberately. He usually listens to podcasts or online courses relating to his work, as he wants to use the time wisely, which is why he gets so annoyed when disturbed for no good reason.

Disconnecting entirely from society is exactly why I'm wearing them, because I don't want people to talk to me. Sorry that's so upsetting for you.

It's been that signal for decades, ever since headphones became available.

Same as reading a newspaper or a book is a "sod off" signal when sitting on a park bench or in a cafe/pub, etc.

Likewise not making eye contact.

I thought these basic life skills were known by everyone? Obviously not.

It's not "disconnecting from society", it's about not wanting to be bothered by inane random people usually wanting to talk shite because they are bored or don't have a life! Most will be more than happy to help someone in genuine need of assistance where there's no other option.

A lot of people only wear headphones because they don't want to be approached, many aren't even listening to anything, it's just the sod off sign.

Absolutely.

Fortunately, I only come across so much misery and unwillingness to communicate with people on MN Threads rather than in all the places I go in life.