To think that it’s ridiculous to approach a stranger wearing headphones?

[Barbarella73]

I get approached by random people all
the time, for directions or a conversation - surely it would make more sense to approach someone that can actually hear what you’re saying and isn’t engrossed in a podcast, audio book or music? There are lots of people walking/standing around not wearing very visible headphones!

Sometimes the earphones aren't visible until you get closer and start the interaction. Ive done that a few times without realising, not because I’m looking for someone with earphones in to bother.

I was waiting for a train the other day and a bloke with headphones was also waiting. It was announced around five times that the next train had moved platforms and would be departing from a different platform. I wasn't waiting for that one. Did wonder if headphones bloke had heard but.hey, as per OP, nobody wants some random coming up and talking to you when you have head phones on.
He took to his heels when he saw his train coming in to platform 10a.

Yes I specifically said headphones rather than earphones as I understand and appreciate that in-earphones aren’t obvious/immediately visible.

God the world we live in. That it’s considered rude to talk to somebody. When did we become such cold, unfriendly and antisocial? I think covid has made it worse. Years ago people would say hello passing people most of the time and that is polite and lovely imo. It saddens me to read about such attitudes- people generally approach strangers if they need help with something like directions- I think you’re rude for being affronted by that. Jees.

I don’t know why people think it’s deliberate. On the very odd occasion I have done this, I haven’t realised the person is wearing earphones until I’ve already asked the question. Obviously nowadays earphones are way more discreet with the likes of AirPods etc. I’ve never disturbed someone if I’ve noticed. Ridiculous thing to get wound up about anyway, really.

This. and we are losing the ability to interact with each other, common courtesy has gone out of the window. In a few years time, approaching a stranger to pass the time of day could be classed as assault.

I think if you're in a public space you have to expect a little bit of interaction with the human race

People (deliberately?) missing the point all over the shop here. Good grief.

I think these are the same people who refuse to answer the door unless it’s prearranged and won’t walk anywhere alone at any time of day.

If people NEED someone, because they’re lost or in trouble or there’s an emergency, they can ask for my help whether I’m wearing headphones or not, and that’s fine. Obviously.

If people WANT to talk to me because they just want some attention or they’re bored, then that isn’t my problem. Their preference to have a conversation doesn’t trump my preference to focus on listening to an audiobook. I don’t exist to provide strangers with a way to pass the time.

People are entitled to keep themselves to themselves if they want to. If I’ve spent all day at work, talking to people and communicating (my entire job is basically words and using them to engage and persuade) I want to decompress and be quiet in my downtime, thanks.

Also, a lot of people wear headphones because they need to focus on something to relax. Some people relax by letting their thoughts wander. Some of us just find that stressful - for some people, wandering thoughts always turn to worries or anxieties. Or people might be out and about doing errands or exercising or commuting and might just want to listen to something to make it less fucking boring. Last week I had to spend my lunch break dropping off Vinted parcels at three different locations; I don’t drive so it was an hour of walking and would have been a really annoying chore. But I put my earbuds in and listened to an engrossing audiobook and it made it into something pretty pleasant. An hour’s chore became an hour’s entertainment.

If I’m on a train journey, I read a book. If I’m walking, I listen to one. Sorry if that means I’m not giving the impression that I’m available to be the world’s guardian angel.

Do you. It all think you’re being approached because you’re the safest looking people? The other day I got a look approaching a lady at the train station to see about a train that could have been late or gone. My options were her, guy begging, lady who I’d heard shout at her boyfriend to eff off or group of teenagers that were slagging each other off. Can ye honestly not spare a few seconds and would you not appreciate someone doing the same for you?

Back in the days before airpods when I was a student, I had a charity worker on the high street take an earphone out of my ear as I walked past her. Jumped out of my skin.

The OP says she means proper, over-ear headphones, not earbuds.

Same happened to me. Wired earbuds. The bloke reached out and yanked it out of my ear by the wire.

If I had the choice of two people, one wearing headphones and one not but otherwise the same then I would ask the person without headphones. Not because I don’t want to disturb the person from what they are listening to but because they have put that barrier there and would be more unapproachable.

It's only acceptable if you're asking the person if they've read any good books lately.

😂

Cycling would be quicker

Stop it!! 😂😂

With 3 young children though?

Common sense would tell most people that it's not a good idea.

Even if I had time they would have been impatient, wanting attention.

And the car was brand new, which I wouldn't have riskwed anyway. He could see that.

And tbf, less likely to be stopped by all those annoying humans

It's sometimes ridiculous approaching people in various circumstances though. Headphones or not.

There is a massive difference between people approaching middle aged me and asking directions and men approaching my very attractive DD just because they feel she owes them a conversation.

Classic Mumsnet, this thread.
I don't mean that in a good way.

This.

I'd venture further and suggest that it's verging on antisocial to be so unaware of what's around you and to be annoyed at having to react to another human being.
This 'right' to mingle in society but in your own 'fuck off and don't approach me whilst I'm in my very own space' is a bit worrying. It also explains why so many ( particularly on MN) won't answer their phones and refuse to answer the door.
It is contributing to the increased numbers of anxiety sufferers.