Vegan and work night out

[ChockysChimichanga]

Genuinely a bit unsure if I’m being unreasonable here, hence the thread!

I’m organising dinner and drinks for a group of work colleagues. Nothing fancy, just food and drinks. The venue we chose is a local pub with a decent menu. However, one colleague has said he doesn’t like either of the vegan options and wants to go to a very different restaurant. No-one else wants to go there. Colleague has now announced he’s not coming and is annoyed with me.

I felt quite guilty initially and spent some time trying to find another pub/restaurant with more vegan food but there aren’t really any suitable and having slept on it, I now feel that he’s being a bit of a twat about it.

I get that he wants to have a nice meal (and in fact I’m vegetarian so I do understand) but there is vegan food there, he just doesn’t fancy it.

AIBU to stick with the original venue or should I try and accommodate him more?

I’m vegan, he’s unreasonable and needs to suck it up.

Ask the venue to offer something else.

Go to the original venue that everyone else wants to go to. There is food available, he’s chosen not to want it.

I did phone them and ask if they had any other options. They said they do a vegan special sometimes but can’t guarantee it.

It's up to him really he's chosen not to go there is nothing preventing him from going just his personal taste, let him sulk.

I am vegan and I agree. As long as there are a couple of vegan options he can eat. I have been for a few nights out and only had one choice but it is more about friends than food.

YANBU, there's options, that should do. For me a work nights out is never about having a delicious meal, it's more about socialising with colleagues out of work and usually includes a mediocre meal and a slightly awkward atmosphere. If there really was nothing I fancied, I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't kick up a stink about it or insist that everything changed. I'm vegan BTW.

Maybe he should arrange it himself?

I imagine it isn't compulsory to attend. Any invitee can decline if they don't fancy it. Don't change the venue because of him

As a vegan, he's being a twat

Does he really not like any of the vegan food?

Many starters and side are vegan - soup, chips, vegetables, salads etc

He could order a few of those to make up a meal he does like.

He needs to get a grip. I go to lots of work dinners and sometimes the menu is not one I would choose (not vegan or vegetarian, I mean just food I don't particularly like). That's life.

Why? And this is why people have a low tolerance for vegans. Why should everyone change plans because of one fussy person?
Op maybe him not coming would be better for everyone else?

I mean what else is there to do.

Ditto

I’ve booked several works meals over the years and you can’t please everyone. Ask him for a couple of meal suggestions he would like and ask the pub if they can accommodate him, if not stay with your booking and say next time, you will book somewhere else.

Tell him you're sorry he's chosen not to come. That the invitation is still open, and he could just join for a few drinks. Then say nothing more about it. It's a shame he couldn't just see it as a fun bonding exercise rather than placing so much importance in the food. He's not bloody Jay Rayner! I'm guessing he can't be that popular else he'd want to come anyway just to be with his work mates. You did your best. He's hardly going to go to a tribunal over it. Being vegan isn't like a religion or a disability.

I think it’s the huffy ‘well, I’m not coming then’ response I got which has annoyed me and the fact he expected everyone else to change venue to suit him.

I felt quite bad about it last night because I didn’t want anyone to feel excluded!

Ask the restaurant or they accept they. cant go.

Agree you'll never please everyone, it will be rare that no-one feels excluded.

I'd never eat in a chain restaurant by choice because there's an endless amount of independents that provide better quality, fresh cooked food usually at a lower price. But I accept that it's usually easier for groups so suck it up.

Organising works dos is a thankless task. Be grateful it’s only one person who’s annoyed with you! He’s being very unreasonable.

Our team go out to a manky carvery - no veggie main just overcooked, salty, oily veg or a horrible sweet potato curry. I don't particularly enjoy the food and I wouldn't otherwise spend my money on it but of course I go because everyone else likes it.

You'd be better off with pub food for a large crowd. You won't please everyone anyway but pubs usually cater to all tastes (and unless a particularly nice gastro pub not gold standard typically frozen food at a more reasonable price)

You change to something specific that vegan likes (curry? Japanese?) Then you will probably put other people off anyway.

Vegan guy is being demanding and rude. It's about getting a group together and he could easily have a starter and sides that make a vegan meal.

Offer to change the venue if he can find somewhere that everyone who wants to go is happy with. When he comes up with a suggestion, put it to a vote and go with the majority.

But then you will piss off a different single person or more!

Plus thus suggestion has the OP doing more work when it's hard enough organising events.

Tell him he can organise the next one.

If another person didn't like anything on the menu, you probably wouldn't change the restaurant. Same applies to vegans. There are vegan options, so he's not excluded.