Vegan and work night out

[ChockysChimichanga]

Genuinely a bit unsure if I’m being unreasonable here, hence the thread!

I’m organising dinner and drinks for a group of work colleagues. Nothing fancy, just food and drinks. The venue we chose is a local pub with a decent menu. However, one colleague has said he doesn’t like either of the vegan options and wants to go to a very different restaurant. No-one else wants to go there. Colleague has now announced he’s not coming and is annoyed with me.

I felt quite guilty initially and spent some time trying to find another pub/restaurant with more vegan food but there aren’t really any suitable and having slept on it, I now feel that he’s being a bit of a twat about it.

I get that he wants to have a nice meal (and in fact I’m vegetarian so I do understand) but there is vegan food there, he just doesn’t fancy it.

AIBU to stick with the original venue or should I try and accommodate him more?

I see his point. 2 dishes to choose from is a bit shit if you're going to a restaurant and everyone else expects you to be really grateful that there's anything at all you can eat, while they have 10+ dishes they can choose from.

Right so other times he's been fine with the choices and now a few others want a turn at something different, he's stamping his feet over it. No. Pls don't change it for him.

I have gone to so many places with work groups or friends where I really don't like the food all that much. But I suck it up and go and don't complain! Because no one gets to have their own way all the time.

The only time I didn't go, was to an alcohol free vegetarian Indian! I like a glass of wine with my meal. Not a deal breaker by itself. But also generally the only Indian thing I will eat is tandoori chicken which I wasn't going to find there! So I made a polite excuse and bowed out of that one.

So...

How many meat dishes goes a vegan restaurant offer?

What's the majority vote?

That's a crap argument that's always trotted out. It's not the same thing at all.

@WilliamButt why is it a crap argument? I'll assume most vegan restaurants offer no meat dishes? Am I right?

People like him are the reason why vegans get a bad name

I’m not vegan, fussy about food and gone on many group meal where I’ve struggled to find anything in the menu
but unlike your vegan colleague I realise the meal doesn’t revolve around me

There is a very popular thread running at the moment https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5071609-top-places-exh-sulked-can-anyone-top-these-semi-lighthearted

Does colleague have form for sulking, do you need to look at him in a new light and would he find a home in the above?

So there is one vegan so everyone has to go to a vegan resturant, makes no sense

It's a rubbish argument because you can eat everything on the menu, your options are not limited.

pass him the pub's phone number and see if they can accommodate what he would like.
as a gluten-free coeliac I go out for group dinners for the social side not because of the food or I would be disapointed

@Pleiades2020 it the enjoyment of the food and therefore the night is! Why would o want to pay ££££ for one faddy eater in the group.

I'm a vegetarian and I agree with you, OP.

How can this person expect everyone else to change their plans to accommodate just one person's dietary choices? I bet there's something on the menu he could eat - he just wouldn't have much choice.

And perhaps he'd like to take over the admin for organising the next meal out???

Stick to your guns!

WilliamButt · Yesterday 21:19

Surely if you're being invited (not summoned!!) to a social event, you consider and decide whether to go or not? You don't start demanding that the event is re-organised to suit you! Unbelievably entitled!

Next time, he can organise the meal at a restaurant of his choice and see how many people want to join him.

And I say that as a non-meat eater.

Exactly. Am I sick of the only option being penne arrabiata? Yes. But would I suck it up if someone else was arranging the meal. Absolutely.

It's only been in the last few years restaurants have even started offering a vegan option. Most vegans are aware of that. Of course if you're choosing somewhere to go yourself you'd choose something that suits you more but for a group meal just accept that there's only ever going to be one or two things you can have. Worst case scenario order some chips. Or eat before you go and just enjoy the company.

His issue here is not that he is vegan but that he doesn’t like pub grub.

^ This. Or just eat before you go.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian and have often been out to restaurants, as part of a group, which would not have been my choice, due to the menu. However, I go for the company and would not expect the majority to roll over for a minority, ever.

If you choose to limit your diet, you need to accept the consequences.

He has suggested an alternative but no one wanted to go there.

Tell him that you canvassed support for the restaurant he suggested, but there wasn’t any! Ask if he would be able to arrange the next get-together. Maybe then he’ll see how difficult it is to organise for different diets/tastes/budgets, not to mention dates and venues suitable for everyone to get to without a ridiculous journey.

I will definitely be sticking to my guns. I’ve suggested that we go to the place he wants to go to next time. The problem is that for ages, all the work nights out were organised by someone who only wanted to go to Asian places so everyone’s a bit sick of them!

He’s being unreasonable. There are 2 options which is ok for a pretty limiting diet. I was a vegetarian for years and just got used to having a boring and uninspired risotto or pasta dish. If I really didn’t like something I’d order 2 starter and/or more sides but I get it’s easier for a vegetarian than a vegan.

I eat vegetarian as much as possible. If there’s no option other than a slab of meat or something I don’t like, I suck it up for the sake of the non fussy fuckers and eat what I don’t really want. I’m vegetarian for health reasons. I’ve been known to eat a Sunday roast if someone has cooked it for me because I just don’t want to be rude.

Go without him. He’ll get over it

With the exception of allergies anyone can eat anything on any menu, this is 100% personal choice. If you choose to eat a limited diet then you have to expect to have issues sometimes when eating out.

He’s being a big sulk. Can’t he eat before/elsewhere/after and meet you for the drinks part of the evening? I used to be part of a works crowd in a previous role who loved to go out for a curry and drinks. I can do spice, but I can’t do heat and they loved this place where even the korma would blow your head off! On those days I would have a big lunch, go along with them, have a naan and some potato raita and have a whale of a time. I never felt hard done by. 3/4 of the group just loved curry so we went with majority rule.