To feel I don’t send my child to enough extra curricular activities?

[Enchanted82]

My Children go to a couple of clubs a week (Tuesdays and Saturdays) but feeling overwhelmed by how many parents seem to send their children to different clubs 5-6 days a week? Is this normal and can we not just ‘be’ with our children anymore?

intrigued as to why people run multiple kids Around nearly every day? Do the children ask to be part of all these clubs?

Ages?

Mine to to the ones run by after school club and tears it..

Ages are 6 and 8

Are you asking a question or judging? Sounds like the latter. If this works for you, then that’s great!

My 5 year old does 4 clubs / activities a week - dance (ballet and tap), musical theatre, rainbows and swimming lessons. That seems to be very average for our area.

My 7 year does swimming (life skills), brownies (lots playdates in one go) and choir and keyboard at school during school time. I think that's too much. Tbh apart from 1 or 2 children she's about average re classes. I know a lot of children are asking to drop classes now as the school work is getting harder. Think what you mentioned is usual by maybe different in different areas...I love the fact children can just be children... We did craft yesterday after school...it was fun ..

One of my kids does one club a week and has no interest in doing anything else
another of my kids does four and would happily do one every day if money and my energy allowed it
Different things work for different people

I am a FTM and have been surprised to learn how many clubs kids attend! I put it down to kids not being allowed to roam the streets anymore, so parents sign them up for clubs to keep them active/socialising?

I've only ever had one non-negotiable which is swimming.

Everything else they've asked to do. Thankfully quite a few are before/after school on the school grounds which makes it simpler. With a 12yo and 8yo we've got 2 x football club, 2 x swimming, 2 x Stagecoach, 2 x music lessons, then between them they've got chess, basketball, rock band, a different drama club, and whatever the 12yo decides to do during school hours (choir, band, various sports).

It's a lot and I ask them quite often whether they want to drop anything but they're adamant they don't.

However when they were younger we did a lot less.

Every child is different aren’t they 🤷‍♀️

My 7yo does Beavers and Swimming weekly, and weekly tennis lessons in summer with intensive camps in the holidays (he can’t be arsed in winter- don’t blame him!). He’s also at the childminder until 6pm, 3 nights a week, so I think that’s more than enough time out of the house.

We’ve asked if he wants to do more or other clubs/sports etc and he doesn’t at the moment, so we’ve clearly got a balance that works for him, and that’s the most important thing.

My do a lot but because they want too. I was similar as a dc tbh. I agree with the pp about lack of playing out, one of my does cricket and football largely because it means playing with their friends.

I feel my DC do less than 'average' but I don't care.

DD12 does karate once a week. She has ASD, in Y7 and still adjusting to secondary so she just wants to come home and chill every day. She has homework to do and finds that hard and still needs our support with it.

DD10 does dance and gymnastics. She also goes to childcare two days after school so that leaves only one day she can come straight home and not go out again. This leaves time to see friends at weekends, and family of course.

To me it just depends how busy your children like to be. Some need more downtime than others. By the time we've finished work, had dinner and cleared up, it's 7. It's nice to have some time together if we're all home.

As @berksandbeyond says, this feels a bit like a judgement session…

mumsnet is full of extremes, kids who do everything and those who do nothing.

at that age mine swam, played hockey, riding lesson and often one more thing like brownies.

at 10 it’s 3 hours of hockey one day, 1 hour of theory for her hobby another day, training for a different sport another, and at this time of year often additional team sessions.

it’s always been guided by the DC. I do like extra curricular and I do offer various activities, I wouldn’t accept no activities but it’s certainly her choice to do so many.

But quite a few of ours are via the school, they have a huge offer. Reduces ferrying about.

6 and 8. Two each week is plenty.

Mine doesn't do any, I'd love him too but sadly no interest in anything! I take him swimming every other weekend though.

Two is plenty. If they are clamouring for more, and you can afford the time and money, you could consider it, but I wouldn’t be pushing it.

This is very typical where I live (lots of rich parents from China/ India/ Africa) - and I often have to give my head a wobble when I think that I am not giving mine (Y1 and Y3) the right opportunities. They each do 3 clubs (2 sports and a language), but their friends do 2/ 3 languages, science, music lessons, 2/3 sports, extra tutoring. Mine go on plenty of holidays, but they don’t know how to ski, haven’t been on any long haul holidays, nor on any city breaks. We don’t visit the theatre/ musicals every month.
And then I remind myself that free play is good and teaches so much more than structured learning, and that they are children who should enjoy their childhood. They are learning plenty. But I do have to keep reminding myself….

I'm a great believer in slightly older children and young teens having an 'interest' outside of school, meeting with kids from other schools, friendships in different places. I think it sees them through the tricky teenage years, gives them a focus, improves their mental health, gets them off a screen. DD (young teen)has danced and done Beavers/Scouts which takes her out 3 times a week, then other short term things over the years.
But at 6 & 8 I'd be going purely with their interests. The only thing I made a priority at that age was swimming.
Filling their week with an activity every single night means they don't learn how to manage their free time. And that can cause problems of its own.

I feel you should do what you feel you can commit too. My daughter when younger done activities 6 days a week. My son does 5 days a week. It consists of swimming, dancing, football, running, gymnastics etc.

My DS8 currently does 6 extracurricular activities - 4x sport (swimming lessons, karate, basketball and multi sports - the latter is a free school run after school club, the others all paid for) amd 2x music lessons (1 in school time, one outside of school). It does feel like a lot tbh, he is an only so financially it is fine, and he wants to do them all. But I think it’s likely we’ll probably drop one of the music lessons and swimming in the next year or two, which will make it more manageable.

I think a lot of parents do extra curricular to reduce screen time. Problem is indoor entertainment is so good now that children just spend their time on screens all the time. Extra curricular stuff means kids spend less time on screens.

Every child is different and depends on family situation

If you work full time and not getting kids in the house until 6.30 then one evening activity is more than enough

Filling their week with an activity every single night means they don't learn how to manage their free time. And that can cause problems of its own.

I don’t think that’s true, A club could be 1 hr before or after school, plenty of free time left.

All 4 of mine do tennis once a week. They do it over 2 different days. I can't be at 4 activities at once. They all enjoy it, so it's enough

Extra curricular activities can end up being extremely important if your child encounters friendship issues at school.