To feel I don’t send my child to enough extra curricular activities?

[Enchanted82]

My Children go to a couple of clubs a week (Tuesdays and Saturdays) but feeling overwhelmed by how many parents seem to send their children to different clubs 5-6 days a week? Is this normal and can we not just ‘be’ with our children anymore?

intrigued as to why people run multiple kids Around nearly every day? Do the children ask to be part of all these clubs?

Mine do a lot and would do more if I let them. Both have strong passions (for different things) and are reasonably good and want to get better. I would quite like to cut it down (££) but can see value in everything they do and, most importantly, love it all and never moan about going or practicing. Each to their own! Both have had fantastic experiences even at primary age and it's lovely to see them so happy.

My children do around ten activities a week each… yes it’s a lot but they started things when they were little that then built up (swimming used to be half an hour and is now 6x1.5 hour sessions a week) I don’t mind it. It’s not for every parent because of the costs and the time and the running around. It’s not for every child either. But my dd especially is just a busy person- she enjoys being out and about, enjoys the social aspect and is a lovely 16 year old so it’s worked for her and for our family.

My 3 children are mad for extra curricular activities. I am a busy type person myself - I volunteer, I do classes and a club thing.

I think there is a balance and that balance is different for every child.

Having time to play is the most important/ preferably outside.

I think at around 10 and through the teens it becomes nice for a child to have a proper interest. Somewhere they make out of school friends and have an additional social life.

11yo:
football (at least twice a week)
scouts
school band
piano (in school hrs)

8yo:
football
theatre
horseriding
music theory & ensemble
piano (in school hrs)

Do what works for you & your dc

Mine go quite a few: tennis, karate, art, cricket/rugby, drama and swimming but apart from cricket/rugby which are on for a couple of hours on a Sunday morning, the others are 30-45 mins after school, so we still get plenty of family time. Just do what works for you OP, so many people seem to spend their time comparing their lives to others 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your title is ‘AIBU To feel I don’t send my child to enough extra curricular activities?’, yet it seems you don’t actually feel that way at all and are actually judging parents who do more clubs. 🙄

One if my kids wanted to do everything and at one time had an after school activity 4 nights a week as well as one on a Saturday. He later did one sport but it was after school and weekends. One of my kids only ever did 2 at any one time and by the time she was 9, didn’t want to do any so didn’t.

Kids are different. Shocker!

My 6 year old DS does swimming once a fortnight (one to one lessons) and that's it. We tried beavers and dance and I've asked if he wants to do cricket or football but he's just not interested. He has ASD and gross motor difficulties so he's happy just being at home in the garden. 3 year old DD does ballet, a music and movement class and a music group class. I think she'll want to do everything once she's at school, she's already asking for riding lessons. Better start saving!

If you have a child who is really keen on sport you have to do quite a few because school PE/games lesson aren’t enough. Same goes for other areas like music. Some do it because their children are very sociable, some for childcare, some to keep their children off screens. I think our education system is a bit ‘one size fits all’ so people want to branch out a bit.

DS(10) has decided that 2 after school clubs and weekend hockey are enough.

Mine does three and I’d like her to do more but funds and transport are lacking here. It’s good for them to be into different things especially when they start secondary and there can be friendship problems. They’re more likely to join in with extra curricular stuff at school if they’re already in the habit of doing those types of things

Mine does 7 sessions of 3 sporty type things across 5 days. But she’s very energetic and she loves the activities she does, her school day is shorter than in the UK too. I’m going to add another one later this year.

I expect her to drop some stuff as she gets older, I’m trying to help her find something she loves to do that she can carry on with it into secondary.

Mine did three each. Swimming ceased around seven or eight (when they did their mile badge) and the others continued until they were 18 - grassroots football and refereeing, and scouts. They were invaluable tbh.
DS1 going for grad jobs now at 21 being asked loads about these and his pt job and very little about his degree.

Each child is different and has different interests / motivation. My eldest would do something 5/7 club wise and would literally sign up for everything.

Youngest I can just about get to Guides and swimming. Not interested in anything else.

Ours have done everything. Now they do very little as they've got older. They do socialise outside of the home though. Kids don't play out like they used to do it's more formally organised now. No more goalposts on the grass.

Mine does a lot in summer, he plays school sport (basketball in summer) with two after school trainings and then a game Saturday morning. Nippers, 3 x a week (we live beside the beach) swimming squads - see my last point, he also plays basketball for a club with one training and one game a week.

I feel it's too much, but he doesn't want to give anything up. Winter is quieter as the nippers isn't on and neither is swimming as it's an outdoor pool.

Kind have swimming lessons. They didn't like cubs and beavers and neither like sports whichever ones we try so that's all they do. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think children need yo learn to entertain themselves and get bored occasionally

only theatre group at the weekend. But she does play out constantly with her mates. A lot of her friends who do clubs aren't allowed out. She's 12.

This is definitely part of the reason I encourage my DD to do activities - she’s 9, and at home she mainly wants to go on YouTube or play computer games. She does an afternoon art class during the week and violin lessons at school, and at the weekends she does dance and swimming. She’s in after school club two days a week, so has two days when we can go straight home.

Other posters have mentioned the lack of children playing out nowadays, which also applies - there are only a couple of children near us and it’s not safe to play out independently at her age due to traffic. When I was at primary school in the 80s, the traffic levels were much lower. I think that’s also the reason for organising play dates rather than letting children out to play.

DS is in year 1. He does no clubs (doesn’t want to) but has his name down for Beavers for when he turns 6. He’s tried a couple of clubs but hated them. He hates swimming, football, any sport really, and would rather be at home doing arts and crafts.

My 6 year old DD does climbing on a Saturday and goes to a kids craft club midweek. She used to do dancing but it was too intense at a young age. Her school offers half term length clubs (one of which was dancing) and I'll sign her up for ones of interest.
She used to do swimming but knocked it on head in favour of climbing.
I'm not a fan of filling every second of evenings and weekends.
I think it's nice for them to do one of two activities, no need for something every day.

Mine do lots, they’re good at what they do and do it competitively.
DD does gymnastics 3 days a week (9 hours) plus weekends if there’s a competition. She also has a music lesson half hour a week and does another sport for fun.

DS does football/cricket depending on the season. He does cricket at a regional level now and plays for different age groups for our local club. Currently cricket is 3/4 evenings a week plus the occasional weekend for the regional side. He also plays an instrument.

I feel like it eats a lot into family time but they enjoy what they do and I love watching them.

Totally unnecessary in my opinion

Kids are far too over scheduled and need to have time to just 'be'

And every kid on MN does things 'competitively'

Never just y'know, for fun

Mine do loads, anything they ask for I arrange for them to try. We can afford it (thankfully nothing mega expensive!) and between us we can manage running them around/ lift share with others.
They enjoy it, it gives them confidence and I think it's especially important for kids who are naturally academically inclined to feel like they're good at something.
It's also really good for us- we've made friends with other parents.
As they're getting older (12 and 9) they're streamlining it a bit as they decide what they love but honestly I'd do it the same way again.
Swimming has been the only non- negotiable and once they're committed to a term of something I've made them see it through before they make a decision.

Mine are grown up now. They're both adopted. Oldest struggled with friendships, particularly at school, so it was important for me that she socialised at other times. So she did things like drama, Woodcraft & Guides. We also always went swimming weekly. When she no longer had lessons, I took her to the pool while her younger sister had lessons. The friends that lasted longer for her were generally made via these activities (less time to annoy others than at school 😪).

Youngest suffered from acute anxiety, though was friendly and sociable once she got used to things. So it seemed right to coax her out of her comfort zone regularly- she did Brownies, Guides, swimming and musical theatre as well as school clubs. The musical theatre ended up being a huge part of her life for many years. The group was very stable over the years so she had consistent out of school friends who were sometimes a haven when things didn't go so well socially at homes in secondary school. Her best friend now was from the theatre group.

I do think these experiences were valuable. Not all lasted e.g gymnastics. I encouraged them but didn't force them to go, as some parents seem to. They also both went to after school club in primary for two to three evenings a week - the club was brilliant and also a supportive place to socialise and hang out.

There's no right or wrong, but it is good to encourage children's interest and talents, if they have any.