Do Italians hate the English or is it the language barrier?

[SoreFeets]

Currently in beautiful Italy. Love it here but we appear to be hated by the staff in most places, especially food/drink settings.

This week alone we’ve had receipts thrown at us, we went to pay for a coffee in a little shop and the woman wouldn’t even look at us, took the money, looked really pissed off and immediately moved on to the next customer without a word (but was happy and smiley with them).

DH hired some bikes and had the keys thrown at him without a word.

Last night in a restaurant the waiters were deliberately tending every table but ours until DH caught the attention of one of them - waiter then took our drinks order but when we tried to order food he threw the menus back onto the table and walked off!! He then said something to another waiter who looked at us and laughed. Nobody came back to take the food order.

Now this exact same thing happened in Rome a few years ago, everyone just seemed to hate us. We would try to book a table in a restaurant and they would say it was full … before letting someone else in 😂

so I looked it up last night and I found no suggestion of Italians having a problem with English …. But what I did find was Italians have no time for people who have not bothered to learn the language.

Is this the problem? I have tried to learn a bit of Italian before coming but nowhere near enough which is obviously my fault. DH doesn’t speak a word of Italian other than Grazie.

We’re coming back next year and I aim to be practically fluent in Italian in that time! AIBU to think/hope we’ll have a totally different experience?

Haven't been to Italy for years but always felt welcome in the past. However my friend travels extensively in Europe and she said there was a definite change in attitude after Brexit. People more often rude, dismissive etc.

I have always been treated pretty well. But I make sure I look up the Italian for what I'm trying to do and some appropriate vocab before hand. And I smile a lot, and apologise for my terrible Italian after I've had a go.

Sounds like you might be inadvertently giving off bad vibes? Sorry, that's a clumsy turn of phrase but if you experienced the exact same behaviour on your last visit, I'd be wondering. Particularly as you mention that everyone seems to hate you, which is quite a strong reaction.

I've lived in Italy and never came across such widespread hostility as you report (I do speak good Italian, though). I do find that Italians generally can sound a bit abrupt to the English ear: less please and thank yous and more straight to the point.

Coffee shop woman perhaps didn't speak English? Not so unusual and would explain the not saying a word but being chatty with the next customer.

Anyway, try not to let it get to you and enjoy the rest of your holiday!

I've never had any issues in Italy, or anywhere else. I speak French and a little Italian but normally am just friendly and polite.

If you have been treated so poorly for no obvious reason, why would you go back? There are a lot of lovely places to visit that don't involve being treated with contempt.

I’ve been to Italy many times and have Always had such friendly service. I do say good morning evening, thank you, order drinks etc in very poor and rusty Italian but I don’t think that’s it. I’m really surprised op.

I’ve never had this in many trips to Italy but I know how to walk in and say hello and ask for a table for four people, ask for fizzy mineral water and then order what I want off the menu. And that is the full extent of my Italian but it seems that may buy me more goodwill than I realised!

We are in lake Garda

Maybe it’s you rather than Italians

I've been all over Italy and I've never had this experience. I speak a bit of Italian (DH none) - enough to order a drink and say hi etc, to manage in the supermarket. Willing to look up questions and give it a go. I've encountered the same proportion of rude Italians as rude people anywhere. When we went to Puglia hardly anyone spoke English and they were delightful even though my Italian is pretty minimal. I find I've had many more experiences of people being rude to me in France and I can speak much better French!

I went to Rome and Naples last May, never experienced any customer service issues.

we don’t speak Italian, we did use google translate a bit

Or Welsh!

Well yeah, kind of the point of my post 😂 I want to know what we’re doing wrong

Please say you’re not in Sirmione?!

We had a holiday in Rome recently. I had done duolingo for nearly a year but that wasn't very useful as it focused on things like "the cat eats the mouse" and "the penguin is in the zoo" rather than "please may we have a table near the window" but we did make an effort to communicate in italian. We didn't experience any unfriendliness or unhelpfulness.

I’m thinking that also. I must have been in every restaurant in Bardolino over the years and never had an issue.
Lake Garda does cater for the Germans as it’s an easy destination for them to drive to, and the hotel I usually stay at seems to be 90% German (hence the great breakfasts!), but nearly everyone in the service industry speaks English.
This week is a holiday, maybe they are run off their feet a bit and understaffed.

We went to Lake Garda last year and had this in maybe one restaurant. I assumed just language barrier and those people in particular - I do try hello, please, thank you and ordering from a menu but am not great. Mostly it was fine and lots of people very friendly

We went there on Monday and Tuesday but not staying there.

I’ve had various experiences in different parts of Italy. Generally, very friendly men and very rude women! So who knows!

What's wrong with Sirmione?

I think that anyone who works in a touristy area gets pretty fed up of tourists who just expect that they'll be fluent in English/German/whatever and make no effort to speak their language. After all, can you imagine people turning up here and expecting the same? I speak Italian and French and will have a go at any language of a country we're visiting - I'm currently learning Japanese for a trip next year. I never just launch into English without asking politely if the person speaks English first (which in Italy is: parla inglese?)

Why on earth are you going back next year when you’re being treated like shit this year? Take your hard earned somewhere else!

I wouldn't take it personally. We're not even English and there were repeated attempts to cheat us in Italy which left a sour taste even if we didn't get pickpocketed on the notorious bus to the Vatican. I don't think a grasp of the Italian language would have made any difference. I am sure there are wonderful honourable Italian people and Italian men who don't treat women on their own as fair game. We just didn't meet a lot of them on the tourist trail.

How strange! I've been to Italy several times (most recently a few months ago) and have never noticed this. We've always been treated nicely.
Were you talking at them in English? We don't speak Italian but make an effort to order in Italian.
I once had rude treatment in Paris, everywhere I went but never in Italy.

Eh?

We’re coming back next year and I aim to be practically fluent in Italian in that time!

Duolingo - 10 mins a day. That's how I'm learning basic Japanese. You won't be practically fluent, but you should be able to deal with normal interactions like restaurants, bars, public transport, etc.