Do Italians hate the English or is it the language barrier?

[SoreFeets]

Currently in beautiful Italy. Love it here but we appear to be hated by the staff in most places, especially food/drink settings.

This week alone we’ve had receipts thrown at us, we went to pay for a coffee in a little shop and the woman wouldn’t even look at us, took the money, looked really pissed off and immediately moved on to the next customer without a word (but was happy and smiley with them).

DH hired some bikes and had the keys thrown at him without a word.

Last night in a restaurant the waiters were deliberately tending every table but ours until DH caught the attention of one of them - waiter then took our drinks order but when we tried to order food he threw the menus back onto the table and walked off!! He then said something to another waiter who looked at us and laughed. Nobody came back to take the food order.

Now this exact same thing happened in Rome a few years ago, everyone just seemed to hate us. We would try to book a table in a restaurant and they would say it was full … before letting someone else in 😂

so I looked it up last night and I found no suggestion of Italians having a problem with English …. But what I did find was Italians have no time for people who have not bothered to learn the language.

Is this the problem? I have tried to learn a bit of Italian before coming but nowhere near enough which is obviously my fault. DH doesn’t speak a word of Italian other than Grazie.

We’re coming back next year and I aim to be practically fluent in Italian in that time! AIBU to think/hope we’ll have a totally different experience?

This is in certain places only. It's not relevant to all touristy places.

I thought it was the capuccinos they were precious about.

As for eating at strange times, I've always found that a good thing to do on holiday as a single person. Restos are happy to have me then as I'm not taking up a table that would otherwise be for two or a group.

Saying hello, of course that's basic.

But a Brit going into a small shop like a butchers or bakery would say hello. I don't think there's a huge difference there.

We once went to Italy with a toddler and got completely mobbed with friendliness. They were relentless. She has grey eyes and bling hair and they kept touching her head and wanting to hold her. I think if you have some common ground like a few Italian words, a smile, children then they are the friendliest people going.

Bling hair 🤣 blonde hair!

Well that Dutchman was not totally wrong.

On the other hand, Dutch people's English is so good that they have a huge advantage over other Europeans (barring UK, Ireland, Malta and maybe Scandinavia).

Are you saying Op should create a toddler just for her next Italian holiday? Or kidnap one?

Never had any issues in Italy but I can just about get by in restaurants, tourist attractions etc in Italian. I've always have them speak good English when I needed it. The fact we ride an Italian motorbike seems to always put people in a good mood, they are really friendly to bikers compared to the UK

I experienced the opposite. Went to Italy when I was 6 months pregnant and people were so kind and helpful. Went out of their way to offer me a chair or ask if I needed extra water etc. much more open and friendly towards me as a pregnant woman than people were in the UK. I speak no Italian at all and never experienced any rudeness or brusqueness.

On lake Como we were told multiple times they disliked the American visitors except their tips, because they treated the waiting staff like personal butlers, but they liked the English we were told as we were polite. The one thing though that did cause an issue was asking if they had decaf coffee the first morning, it was like I was asking for poison or something, they did find me a lemon and ginger teabag and I bought a box of redbush so I could just ask for hot water.

@Gwenhwyfar yes of course 🙄

That's a good point. We were there last year and half the staff were Austrian

There are also parts of Italy (South Tyrol) where most people’s first language is German as it was part of Austria until WW1.

I've been to Italy dozens of times and have never experienced anything other than great hospitality.

and in the Aosta Valley, where their first language is French.

Ours last year were from Salzburg. Students

I think it's just you. I can't speak Italian but I love Italy. I've been to half a dozen locations over the years and love it because of how fabulously friendly and sassy the Italians are. You seem to be describing the French

That was in Bardolino. They wouldn't respond to my German or Italian though. They answered in English

That’s so interesting about the Muhlenberg legend!

Travelling across I was surprised how many German place names there are in America and how influenced the culture is - especially the food - hot dogs, sauerkraut, hamburgers, doughnuts, rye bread, pretzels - also the children going to ‘kindergarten’, and singing O Tannenbaum, so I thought there might be some back story to the claim.

It is getting really old - people like this Dutch guy whinging about the English language being so widely spoken. When I had a car breakdown in Belgium, I simply didn’t expect everyone to speak English despite my supposed English arrogance about expecting other countries to speak it. When I needed help and asked “Do you speak English” - the affronted look I got back, with a curt “Of course” as a response, anyone would think I’d asked if they had been to school and could read and write. 😂

I have friends who own businesses in hospitality in Greece and spain, they are from there.

The main nationality they moan or complain about are the English.

They say the same things, they find that English people rarely bother to learn anything passed "Thank you".
They just expect and assume English will be spoken everywhere.

But if they went to England on holiday, they of course would have to try to speak English or theyd get nowhere.

If you could even learn to say (in the language of the country you are in) "Do you speak English? My Italian/Spanish/Greek/French is very bad", it would go a long, long way and they are usually more than happy to switch languages or find another staff menber who can.

It's just being polite and respectful.

I went to Hungary recently. I only learnt hello, good bye and thank you out of your list, but also how to say cheers.

To be honest in Budapest, the locals don't expect or particularly appreciate foreigners' efforts with their difficult language.

They don’t sound very hospitable for people working in the hospitality industry - your friends.

Exchanging pleasantries just means hello, good bye, thank you, etc. that's very easy and everybody should do that for each country they visit, keeping in mind that in touristy areas people will prefer to practise their English anyway.

They don’t sound very hospitable for people working in the hospitality industry - your friends.

That's ok, I like them 😊

When I needed help and asked “Do you speak English” - the affronted look I got back, with a curt “Of course” as a response, anyone would think I’d asked if they had been to school and could read and write.

Yes, in my experience, if you ask people under the age of about 50 in the Netherlands and Denmark (especially Amsterdam and Copenhagen) if they speak English, they react as if you've asked them if they can count to ten. 😄I've never been to Norway or Sweden, though I can imagine it's similar.

Going back to the OP, I'm astonished to hear of these negative experiences of Italians. Mine have been overwhelmingly positive. My Italian is less than rudimentary, but I found that if I made an effort to speak a little, people almost always replied to me in English, or if they couldn't speak English, they spoke slow, basic Italian that I could easily follow. I've visited Italy many times and have never had the slightest negative reaction to being British, or English specifically (and anecdotally, in my own experience, a lot of people on the continent use British and English interchangeably anyway).

I speak fluent German (or used to, it's rusty now) and only ever had the experience once, in all the years I lived in Germany, that someone replied in English to my German. I suppose I just sounded competent enough in the language that they didn't feel they needed to. Interestingly, it only ever happened a couple of times that Germans guessed I was British and a native English speaker from listening to me speak German. They usually clocked that I was foreign but assumed I was Dutch or Scandinavian. That's probably because they don't expect English speakers to know more than a couple of words in German!