If you're a parent would you think this was ridiculous if I pulled you aside after school for this?

[L4815162342]

I work in a school.

A 5/6 year old today trod on a small bug. He did this on purpose.

I'd like to say it was because he didn't know better but this was half an hour after a lesson on looking after the environment and things we could do to care for nature. Lots was mentioned about animals, etc.

I pulled the child up and spoke to him about his behaviour. He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you were pulled aside after school as a parent and told about this incident would you think it was ridiculous?

I know people have different views, some would draw the line at hurting an animal the size of a cat, for example, but wouldn't bat an eyelash at killing a spider.

LOL

He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you don’t mind, @L4815162342 can you explain the bad behaviour points system to me? What constitutes ‘bad’ behaviour for instance? Who decides what ‘bad’ behaviour is in the school? Is there a list of ‘bad’ behaviours or is this something teachers in the school decide? Also what is deemed good behaviour? What happens to the points? Are they calculated weekly/monthly or in groups?

This.
I've just squashed a moth in my living room, not 1/2 hour ago. I'd do it again if I saw one.
We had a carpet moth infestation about 6 years ago. It was horrible. I'll murder a moth as soon as look at one.

However, whatever my view was, I agree 100% with this.
If the teacher called me in to tell me "James stepped on an ant at playtime", I'd think you were insane.
If the school staff can't deal with a child who has trodden on an ant by themselves, they'd lose my respect. I don't think school staff should be wasting time reporting every misdemeanour to parents, they should deal with it, and move on.
Most teachers I know are on their knees with the ridiculous expectations put upon them in schools, seriously, who could think it was a good idea to have to line up parents at the end of each day to report every little thing they had dealt with during the day ?

I think it would be ok to mention it as an fyi thing. In case the kid goes home upset about getting in trouble.

I’d be concerned if my kids were going out of their way to kill bugs outdoors at that age. But from some PP’s responses if you grow up with parents who kill everything remotely crawly that they come across, you can’t really blame the kid for doing the same.

Inside my house flies, mosquitoes and cockroaches get squished. Spiders and slugs are escorted outside by DH. We recently had a bloody enormous slug that turned up in our bathroom every second day for a week. I suggested DH might want to move it a bit further away as it clearly knew its way around. It turned up inside a plastic bag when he was at work so I put the bag into the bin that was going to be collected that night. DH was most upset that I’d sent ‘Doug’ to the tip 🙄

Yes, you would be utterly ridiculous to pull a parent aside in a ‘judgey’ way. They are babies for goodness sake. Are you fully Early Years trained? Four to five year olds will do this kind of thing without and ‘badness’ or ‘malice’ just exploring and curiosity, surely you know that this young child is not an actual psychopath. Good god, you absolutely should not be working with this young age group. Your approach is damaging.

The cognitive dissonance is crazy, but predictable.

*any

And did you then leave your house and go and find more ants to stomp for the sheer fun of it?

I think you'd be right to have a word with the child about not doing it but yes it would be very odd to talk to the parents about it... unless it was part of a pattern of behaviour you wanted to discuss.. like the child was clearly very angry and violent in various ways and that was a part of the picture.
But just for stamping on a bug once... no. I think most kids probably have done that at some point. Even the sweetest kindest ones. They have poor impulse control and learn empathy gradually.

If I were the parent I'd nod and outwardly agree, but I wouldn't care too much about it in reality. I squish any crawlies I see in my house, and I've just put ant traps and moth traps down.

I would nod along with the teacher when she was telling me and say ‘oh dear’. When I got in the car I’d say ‘Jack, don’t worry, Mummy isn’t cross, I kill flies and wasps all the time. Don’t worry, but don’t do it in school maybe.’

Then I’d tell my DH and we’d have a jolly good laugh about little Jack getting a bollocking for standing on a bug.

What a drama.

I would want to be told so i vould reinforce at home. Of course a 5/6 year old is enotionally mature enough to understand. My 3 year old eould understand that.

I step on bugs and I'm an adult.

A little girl on DD’s class (Year 1) recently found a worm on the school field and was going to chop it in half. DD managed to hide the worm in some leaves so the other girl couldn’t kill it. I was proud of her.

The little girl who found the worm is often cheeky and mischievous, but I’d be a bit concerned if I were her mum. It isn’t the same as treating a child for head lice, or a pet for fleas. It’s unnecessary cruelty.

I don't recall referring to the child as a psychopath. I never said it. I never implied it. Calm down.

It's year one. Mainly six year olds. They know right from wrong.

(As an aside, I never once mentioned four year olds in my OP.)

I have my own five year old. They also have ASD. They know it's wrong to do this kind of thing.

There is nothing damaging about pulling up a child for doing something deliberately cruel, under an hour after they've had a lesson (and not the first) about caring for nature and animals.

When I was about nine, I saw a boy in my class pulling the legs off a daddy-long-legs. I told him to stop and thumped him on the arm, to no avail. The teacher noticed and the boy got punished, but I didn’t.

I wonder how many posters on this thread would think the boy’s behaviour was fine, because it was “just a bug”?

So none of you use fly spray? Slug pellets? Rose sprays?

Totally appropriate to sanction a child going out of their way to kill insects for fun. It's not a hanging offence, but not an appropriate thing to do in school, especially straight after a lesson about respecting mini-beasta around usz or however it was put.... It's likely to cause offence and distress when done in front of others, and the child needs to learn that.

Dunno if I would mention it to the parent. I would be worried it sounded like I was accusing them of raising a mini psycho. I have never taught this age group tho - I imagine you get used to navigating these things.

I killed a spider I found in the bath this evening and the other day at worka little fly type thing. Insects and bugs are animals, I wouldn't think twice about killing one that was in my personal space, in or outside the home.

Is there something else going on with this particular child that gives you cause for concern?

As a parent I'd think you were a bit mad if you took me aside for only this but I'd probably nod along rather than make a fuss.

I eat meat. I don’t go out shooting animals for fun though.

I genuinely wouldn’t care if my child did this. All I do is kill insects so it’d be very hypocritical of me to tell my child off for doing the same thing

I’d want to be told if my child deliberately killed a bug for no reason other than to just kill it
Especially after they’d just been in a lesson on the subject of caring fornature

I wouldn't expect to be told about something like this and tbh I wouldn't expect my child to lose a point or whatever for it but not something I would be arsed arguing over, I'd just nod and carry on with my day.

I have a 6 year old and I would want to know if he deliberately killed a bug, as I am (hopefully) raising my children to have empathy and respect for all living things. I would take the opportunity to talk to him about it at home.

Thanks for being a caring teacher and educating small children on having respect for other living creatures, it sounds like some children don't get that message at home.