If you're a parent would you think this was ridiculous if I pulled you aside after school for this?

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I work in a school.

A 5/6 year old today trod on a small bug. He did this on purpose.

I'd like to say it was because he didn't know better but this was half an hour after a lesson on looking after the environment and things we could do to care for nature. Lots was mentioned about animals, etc.

I pulled the child up and spoke to him about his behaviour. He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you were pulled aside after school as a parent and told about this incident would you think it was ridiculous?

I know people have different views, some would draw the line at hurting an animal the size of a cat, for example, but wouldn't bat an eyelash at killing a spider.

I just love it when posters rubbish the views of others without bothering to elaborate on why. I think they invented emojis for the people who can't be bothered to have a discussion, or did you just want to shut it down completely for some reason?

@Firefly1987
I'm not saying he could be a psychopath/sociopath but it needs monitoring to make sure he doesn't turn into one before there's literally nothing you can do to change it. He could just be a normal boy-it's 90% boys that do this, which explains a lot about future male behaviour doesn't it?! Me and my friends never did anything like that, wouldn't cross our minds. But I'm sure actual psychopaths started out with bugs before they moved onto animals and then potentially humans, it's an escalation. This boy had just had a lesson on respecting nature, and honestly if they don't have the capacity to understand harming bugs purely for fun, I see no reason why their tiny brains will comprehend the lives of animals either.

Do you really think this rubbish deserves careful consideration?

@mathanxiety until someone argues otherwise, yes. I mean why is the OP even bothering to teach kids respect for the environment if it's "rubbish" or they have no capacity to understand it-I'm not sure which since you refuse to elaborate. Maybe just move along if you have nothing constructive to add?

That rubbish was nothing to do with respect for the environment, it was a jumble of pseudo connections implying squashing bugs at 5 leads to abusive behaviour towards other animals.

But lots of perfectly nice people (including lots of women) who aren’t at all abusive to humans or mammals kill bugs and have done most of their lives without it bleeding over into violent or antisocial behaviour, let alone sociopathy. And just because some people have decided to teach in the classroom that you shouldn’t kill bugs doesn’t mean it’s actually a cultural norm you can rely on outside your bubble.

Why killing for food is ok and killing a big is not ok? Sheep 🐑 r cow has feelings and brain and nervous system. An insect is likely have an average lifespan very short. And if looking at you I see leather shoes or bag I would point at it and say, killing for clothes is no different?

Good for you for calling this kid out. Compassion is learned at an early age, 5/6 years old is old enough to know right from wrong in terms if being 'mean'. If the parent moans, then you know the kid is being brought up by adults who are not setting good example.

I think compassion is something nurtured not learnt.

I work in a nursery and we teach the children about kind hands all the time. As part of this, we think about the living environment. I always say you are bigger than it (the bug) just leave it be, it won't eat you. I probably wouldn't mention the bug squashing to a parent unless there had been other incidents showing they were unkind.

Equally, the person I know who is most passionate about nature and animals has said some things about humans that are just cruel - so unbelievably cruel I wouldn’t even type them here. She can also be, quite honestly, a right bitch in her interactions with people. So I’m not sure about a direct correlation between bug love and being a lovely individual generally.

I don't think you can see the telescope for looking down the wrong end of it.

Why did the child step on the bug?

Is the child raised in a family that regards bugs as nasty?
Is the child questioning the lesson that bugs are an essential part of the eco-system?
Is the child a psychopath?
Is the lesson teaching the right values?
Does the child want to see that the world will end if the child steps on an ant?
Do a percentage of children all go out and squish bugs following this lesson?

Child was told off. Child was not questioned.

So it seems to be that the child exhibited anti-social, destructive behaviour and was reprimanded and recieved a punishment.

But the child has not been questioned by a suitably trained or experienced adult.

So now "naive, inexperienced" adult is trying to find out if she's discovered a psychopath in the making. Maybe go speak to trained qualified child psychologists instead of turning to the village mob armed with pitchforks?

I’d hope you wouldn’t make too big a deal of this. It’s the only way to deal with lily bugs.

I showed this thread to DP. He said as a child/teenager they used to use a mini magnifying glass to direct sunlight and burn insects. He also used to meet with other boys from other areas and have regular fights.
He's not been admitted to Broadmoor. Yet.

Oh my god I am absolutely terrified of creepy crawlies. If my kid stepped on a bug I would actually not be that surprised because they've seen me asking my husband to kill spiders etc. If I'm feeling brave, they get squished if they're in my house crawling about. Sorry. I'm not a psychopath by any means 🤣

I would probably expect a teacher to explain that it was cruel to kill other creatures. Id be surprised if they mentioned it to me. Surely they have bigger fish to fry??? (Bad analogy🤣)

Not really - there’s no nutritional need to eat meat in 2024. It’s for enjoyment more than anything.

When my eldest was this age he used to painstakingly remove snails from the path outside our house lest they be trod on. He even kept a few outside and fed them lettuce. That’s his nature though and he’s growing up to be full of empathy and compassion and I’m proud of him for it.

If this was my child I would want to know. Particularly as it followed a lesson on nature and living creatures. Yes, kids will be kids but given the context then it suggests an act of cruelty and defiance. You don’t have to make a big deal about it just say that you were disappointed it happened in the immediate aftermath of a lesson.

We should not kill for fun. He needs to know this and his parents should be aware.

If it was a one off, and as you dealt with it in school, I wouldn’t tell the parents. Most kids squash a bug or 2. If it carries on then yes tell them.
I would think it a bit strange if a teacher or member of staff came up to me to tell me my child had squashed a bug on a single occasion.

If the child did this as a one off I wouldn't be too bothered but if it was an ongoing thing yes I'd want to be told.

But not everyone does respect all living creatures! & that’s ok. It’s about experience and judgement.
I have a UV bug zapper in my kitchen! Because I don’t like flies everywhere

I’d put spiders or bees outside. But I’d kill wasps and wash woodlice down the sink.

I don’t think you’ve got a murderer on your hands, more likely someone who lives in a home with parents who don’t like creepy crawlies (& you don’t know to what extent!).

I think rather than questioning the parent you might want to look at the effectiveness off your teaching because you clearly didn’t get your message across!!

I HATED that sort of lesson as a kid. Generally all those “bugs” see me as their dinner … so I stay out their way and if they get in mine I get rid of them.

I really fo think there should be a wtf emoji on mumsnet. Some people really do go off on one about some imagined rubbish - empororsnewclothes 🤣

I remember when my eldest DD cut a slug in half 😱🙈

Shes 29 now honestly not a psychopath. She is really lovely 😂😂

This is so depressing. Bugs pollinate, they areate the soil, they break down waste, they provide food for animals higher up the food chain. Without bugs we'll all starve to death eventually becaue there won't be enough crops and the whole ecosystem will collapse. I'd absolutely care if my 4yo deliberately stood on a bug, however it's unlikely, because since he first stomped on ants at 2 years old I've taught him it's not kind. We move whatever we can out of the way when we mow the lawn, he knows while a lot of people hate spiders, they have their place so we leave them in peace, ants are fascinating to watch working together to help each other, and if you calmly move away from a stinging insect you're fine. We do eat meat but he understands the concept of free range and why it matters. I despair at the concept of poisoning our environment spraying anything we don't like the look of because "its only a bug" or it's only a weed then we wonder why there are no hedgehogs / frogs / wild fruits left

you eat meat for pleasure, you could survive without killing any animals

Look..I’m not a fan of bugs, I have terrible arachnophobia and I have in my time killed bugs and spiders. There you go. I applaud anyone who has not done this, I really truly do.

If my DC got pulled up on this at school I would think fair enough considering the context but I would not expect myself or my DC to be shamed for this. I’d want to know why they did it and would be happy to speak to the teacher but beyond that I think any further punishment would be excessive.

Couldn't have said it better myself