If you're a parent would you think this was ridiculous if I pulled you aside after school for this?

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I work in a school.

A 5/6 year old today trod on a small bug. He did this on purpose.

I'd like to say it was because he didn't know better but this was half an hour after a lesson on looking after the environment and things we could do to care for nature. Lots was mentioned about animals, etc.

I pulled the child up and spoke to him about his behaviour. He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you were pulled aside after school as a parent and told about this incident would you think it was ridiculous?

I know people have different views, some would draw the line at hurting an animal the size of a cat, for example, but wouldn't bat an eyelash at killing a spider.

I would say you were absolutely right. Cruelty to animals by children means they need to talk.

@mathanxiety I just love it when posters rubbish the views of others without bothering to elaborate on why. I think they invented emojis for the people who can't be bothered to have a discussion, or did you just want to shut it down completely for some reason?

umm as a kid I took care of bugs. The adults around me killed them though. As an adult I became very freaked out by bugs and I wouldn’t have taken your comment seriously.

Moreover, children don’t actually flourish in terms of personality development when made to feel ashamed for who they are. That’s why some children who get off on the wrong foot seem to get worse and worse: they are forever met with correctional disapproval. I wouldn’t personally have risked that sort of “you are horrible” shaming over a bug.

On that note actually, we had a girl (x) in our class who was quite nasty and badly behaved. Her parents had split about when she started school which wasn’t very common in our group at that time and she was hurting, and acting out. The teacher was always , always on at her - so much so I used to feel a kind of internal wince each time x got told off.

One day our teacher had to go into hospital for a few weeks and the headmistress had to take over the class . She walked in and more or less as a first comment said: “ Right: I’m going to need someone responsible and kind to walk my dog at break each day.” Everyone did that thing where you put your hand up and sort of wriggle and groan to be picked. Then the Head said :” x, I think you will do a good job.” We were all looking at each other as if to say “well, this is awkward,” but of course none of us dared say anything to the Head about her being uninformed. That kind of treatment of x continued over the weeks the teacher was away and x was honestly a changed child. I still know x and she is a lovely person - and I still think of that Head to this day.

I know the comments on this thread about discipline and behaviour points for being unkind to a bug are well meant and aimed at raising an evolved generation, but I genuinely think punishment can only go so far. Correction can teach a lot of things but I don’t think it is an ideal tool for teaching kindness.

That’s why you target the behaviour and not the child. E.g. “it’s unkind to squash ladybirds because they’re much smaller than you and not doing you any harm”, and not “you’re a horrible child”.

I’m surprised by the number of posters on this thread who go around killing every insect they see and don’t (or can’t) differentiate between harmful bugs such as fleas and bedbugs, creatures which are beneficial to humans such as bees and earthworms, and other bugs which may not benefit humans directly but which are harmless to us and play an important role in the ecosystem.

Some PP.s have tried to suggest that squashing all bugs on sight is normal in our society and culture. But I don’t think it is. If you hate or fear all minibeasts to this extent, I think you might benefit from counselling to unpick why that is.

Why are humans more important though?

I dont think anyone here is saying we should squish all bugs especially bees. The point many people are making is feeling free to swat flies and wasps or get rid of vermin such as rats and not to take the stance we shouldn't kill any form of animal or insect. There is a lot of contradiction and double standards on this thread.

Yes and that’s an improvement. But it only takes a mildly astute child to cotton on if they are constantly bring up braided for their actions that the person doesn’t think too highly of them. Some corrective / punitive approaches are beneficial for certain behaviours but I’m not sure that it’s the most intuitive or logically coherent way to teach kindness.

What a fantastic teacher. This has made me re-evaluate some of my interactions with children. Thank you for sharing this.

I find the bug-squashers rather odd. I don't get why you would kill something for no reason - especially when that insect likely contributes far more to the ecosystem than you (or I) do.

If a teacher reported to me that my child stepped on a small bug I would look at her like she was out of her mind, and I'm an animal lover. I wonder how many of the non-steppers use bug spray in their homes or gardens.

If it’s already been handled by the teacher then I don’t need to know.

I’m vegan and even I think it would be ridiculous to pull a parent aside to tell them about this.

I’ve been this parent being told this. Another reason how I knows that school wasn’t the right fit for my child

Now that you know bugs exist on the ground, any you step on from now on will be on purpose....because you know they are there. So please punish yourself accordingly, or watch your every step so you don't step on any. Wouldn't want you to be branded a bug murderer.

Jesus.

Teachers wonder why us parents have started homeschooling more and more.

I personally would want to know. I talk to my daughters a lot of animals and especially about bugs and keeping them safe. They also talk a lot about it with my friend who is vegan.

If either of my daughters do this, I would definitely have a discussion with them at home about what made them do it, how did they feel, how might the bug have felt etc. There’s no need to purposely hurt something.

I have a big phobia of bugs, flies, spiders etc. Like freeze and panic at the sight of them. I work with children and have two of my own so have worked hard to correct this for the benefit of them. Never have I ever killed one because of my fear. If there’s a spider in my house for example, I just get someone (or myself if there’s only me) to catch it and let it outside. If there’s some at work, it is a great teaching tool to show the children how we can remove them safely. The children I work with love catching them safely, having a look at them and then decided where is best to set them free. I can’t imagine killing them or allowing anyone in my care to do that.

Not even dustmites, fleas or ants?!

This is mental. It was a small child, and a insect. It's not bad behaviour. Its children being children.

I had my partner squash a spider with a flip flop last night. I'm a vegetarian. I guess I'm going to hell now.

I am a primary school teacher and have been for many years. Also a special needs lead so have done a fair bit of cpd on child development and atypical development. The thing is, this behaviour in a 5 year old is typical behaviour because they want to push boundaries of what they have been told to see what happens and or they just don't have the empathy and reasoning levels to understand why they shouldn't do it. Grown adults who live typical and non violent lives do it every single day. Many kids do alot worse on purpose and do not grow up to be psycho serial killers. So essentially I don't think it is a red flag that the parent should be worried about but of course as a teacher you are trying to teach them the value of caring for environment so it makes sense that there would be a consequence for this behaviour to enforce the lesson you just taught. Although some could argue that the punitive method is shaming and won't achieve anything but that is another thread. Another thing to note is that one lesson in itself won't change a child's behaviour it will take many more lessons about caring for animals to embed it into a child's value system so maybe it was a little harsh and a reminder conversation with him would have had more impact.

So what was the parents response? You say you mentioned it as you ‘wouldn't actually report home about this unless we noticed a regular pattern’.

Well it depends...does the child insist on killing insects, look for them with that in mind etc?

i wouldn’t think much of a child squishing an insect because he/she can at 5/6 years old...but why did that bug you? There is evidently something else at play here.

that particular child defo went against what you taught... did, maybe, that for that particular reason to disobey more than to hurt the insect? How is your relationship with said kid?

anyhow, if the parent dismiss it...I would also stop thinking about it but it still bugs you. Why?

Do people not regularly kill spiders, roaches, ants, fleas, flies? If his mother is anything like me, whenever she sees a spider she screams and asks her husband to kill it or get rid of it. Maybe he was copying his mother.

Yes I would want to be told so I could reiterate and teach my child that this is wrong.