If you're a parent would you think this was ridiculous if I pulled you aside after school for this?

[L4815162342]

I work in a school.

A 5/6 year old today trod on a small bug. He did this on purpose.

I'd like to say it was because he didn't know better but this was half an hour after a lesson on looking after the environment and things we could do to care for nature. Lots was mentioned about animals, etc.

I pulled the child up and spoke to him about his behaviour. He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you were pulled aside after school as a parent and told about this incident would you think it was ridiculous?

I know people have different views, some would draw the line at hurting an animal the size of a cat, for example, but wouldn't bat an eyelash at killing a spider.

I’d want to be told so we could have a chat about it at home.

If you were the teacher and you pulled me aside to tell me my child did this I would seriously consider asking to have my child in another classroom.

I'd think the school a bit weird, though I am a bit iffy about treading on harmless bugs. Point is, we destroy lots of insects. I spray greenfly with detergent, and do not tolerate ants nests near my house; I also swat flies. Two years ago we had an invasion of wasps in the house and had to destroy them - there was nothing else to do unless we wanted to be stung. So it's also a bit iffy teaching childen not to kill any insects when some insects do us harm. We control the environment as well as respect it.
Re: spiders, I never kill them and I a) am scared of them and b) don't much like them. I don't kill an insect not threatening me, so wasps are safe if they stay away (and one must never brush them away or flap at them because this causes them to keep coming close to you) and I would never kill a bee. Anopheles mosquitoes - well, yes. Malaria kills people.

Do all insects have your sympathy? Anopheles mosquitoes, for example?

Was the child afraid of the bug? Did child offer any explanation? He may have witnessed adults at home killing insects. If this is a pattern of behaviour I would mention it, but as a one off maybe not. He has been told off for it. Do you have a pastoral notes folder? Might be worth recording in that.

I agree about the spider. What was wrong with putting it out the window?

That would be an OTT response for parent to ask for child to be moved to another class.

Little sh*t.

So everyone who says it's cruel, would i be correct in assuming that you also think its wrong to de-worm / de-flea pets, put down traps for rats / mice, have never destroyed a spiders web when cleaning or used bug sprays?

DS1 was 3/4 and as I picked him up from nursery we saw a worm. I have a real phobia of creatures without legs but still did the education bit- we looked at the worm, talked about it etc. Then DS1 stamped on it. So obviously we had to talk about why that was wrong. And he learned and never did anything like it again.

So personally I think once one adult has talked it through with the child, that is enough. As a (former) teacher I wouldn't report to parents after dealing with the incident with the child. As a parent I would expect the teacher to deal with it and then move on.

if the lesson was about kindness to nature, yes a behaviour point and possible a mention to parent. I would want to be told, it may seem minor to some but I think important to educate with animals and insects. If was during playtime it’s still unkind, but on an educational lesson theme it feels it’s behaviour too.

Kid was being a little shit

Yeah because that's exactly the same 🙄why do some posters have such trouble distinguishing between something done out of necessity to protect humans/animals/the home and something done purely for fun/to be cruel needlessly? And you do realise we're adults right and have a responsibility to keep our pets and homes clean? And the OP is talking about a child?

I put down traps for mice because you're actually not supposed to move them to another area (it's cruel apparently) and there's not much else you can do. I don't use poison because I think that's needlessly cruel and a snap trap is pretty much an instant death 99% of the time. As a kid I didn't agree with killing them though, it's only as an adult do I understand it's basically the only option. I don't enjoy doing it, or do it to assert my power over something smaller than me.

I had a wasps nest right outside my bedroom a couple years ago-I could hear them buzzing, they were high up enough not to bother anyone going in and out from outside and I knew they died out in the Winter anyway so I left them. I'm glad I did. If they were causing a nuisance or we had workmen they would've had to be removed obviously, but in this case there was no need to kill them. It was a judgement call, are they doing any harm or can I just let them be?

I don't stamp on harmless bugs in the garden just for the hell of it.

When my son 12, was at primary another boy stood and killed a slug. My son got the blame when he was trying to save it. It had been a bet with another two boys, one was to kill it. Well my son got pulled out the class and got a bollocking!!
He was so upset. Well I went through the roof. I’m usually quite laid back but I really went to town with this. The teacher had picked on my son a few times up till then. I still to this day don’t understand why this women is still teaching, as she gets complaints all the time.

Are you actually serious?! I would be complaining about you to the school.

One of my own grandchildren, at that time nearly 4, stepped on a ladybird - on purpose. We corrected them, they started to cry because they didn't expect to be reprimanded by grandparents. We still talked to them explaining the ladybird hadn't done anything to deserve being killed, was just being a ladybird. Was a bit of an emotional exchange, but we all survived. It didn't happen again.

I have to be honest if a teacher took me aside and told me about this I would feel like she was bending over backwards to find fault.

If she had ALSO already given the child a behaviour point I’d feel she was picking on them needlessly and making a right picnic of it. Absolutely fine however to remind DC how useful bugs are, to prompt DC to wonder it had feelings or felt afraid, to remind dc of the class lesson and discuss other options the child had ( like not stepping on it!).

Tell the teacher, let the teacher deal with it

When I was teaching in a Foundation stage unit in a primary school, there was a little boy (5) in my key worker group who did this but it was witnessed by another teacher. She was very upset with the child and insisted I told his mum at pick up time. As she was more senior than me, I did, but I felt very embarrassed doing it and the mum looked at me like I was a total idiot - which I felt!
The senior teacher even followed up by asking me to confirm I had passed the message on to the mum. She seemed bewildered that his mum didn’t really care. I still remember it as a very weird interaction, and did wonder at the time if the senior teacher was under alot of stress.

Agreed! Ridiculously dramatic!!

I would laugh if a teacher told me this. But I kill spiders if in my house and would spray flights or wasps in the house too. Also as another pointed out we flea and worm our cats so I don’t really see much difference. I’m vegetarian if it’s relevant 🤷‍♀️

seriously?

btw I kill mosquitoes, moths and spiders in my home, do you want to have a word with my parents?

that depends on the child in question. Some will some won’t. They’re still learning at that age.

I put down traps for mice because you're actually not supposed to move them to another area (it's cruel apparently) and there's not much else you can do. I don't use poison because I think that's needlessly cruel and a snap trap is pretty much an instant death 99% of the time. As a kid I didn't agree with killing them though, it's only as an adult do I understand it's basically the only option. I don't enjoy doing it, or do it to assert my power over something smaller than me.

But they still end up dead, so your motivation and your high ideals are only a comfort to you,right? Or do you expect them to understand?
@Firefly1987

Moreover, children don’t actually flourish in terms of personality development when made to feel ashamed for who they are. That’s why some children who get off on the wrong foot seem to get worse and worse: they are forever met with correctional disapproval. I wouldn’t personally have risked that sort of “you are horrible” shaming over a bug.

Agree, @Calliopespa