To worry my son won't live up to his father's expectations

[anotherloadofwashingtodo]

We always said we'd have 2 dc.
I had 2 daughters with dh and he has always been a hands on dad but he has always wanted a boy and kept saying we should try one more time so we did and it's a boy and he's over the moon.

Ds hasn't been born yet and he's already treating him differently, he's been out and bought him all new baby clothes which is something he never took an interest in with the girls who had mostly hand me downs and eBay bundles but he doesn't want that for ds.
While in the shops he was looking at table football like foosball and said this is why I wanted a boy, I can't wait to have someone to do all this with, even though the girls would love it too. He says it's not the same.

I'm starting to regret that we tried for another, I think I just felt that he was not going to be happy until we tried that last time and he kept on.

He seems to think this boy will be a mini him and his little mate, not only does that put huge pressure on ds to live up to this vision but it's clear the girls are not as special.

Dh had a v difficult relationship with his father and I see history repeating with ds at times- but I pull him on it. To be fair, he never expressed any specific desire for girl or boy. I would say he actually has a better relationship with dd,as she's less complicated. Ds is very like me, but what dh likes in me, he struggles with in ds. But then, he met the adult version of me- not the child.

What if he is gay? How will Dad and his macho hobbies like that?

As a daughter who had a bio dad who so obviously wanted a son you need to address this for all your kids sakes. Your son should be able to grow to be who he is and not have a constant pressure to be who his dad wanted. Your girls should grow up equal to their brother, which if the behaviour your DH has shown continues, will be blatantly obvious to them (and everyone else) that they are not.

It’s a fast track to having your kids jump ship and bolt as soon as they leave home to release themselves from the overbearing expectations/ disappointment of their parent.

Point out the differences in his behaviour to him, tell him “you didn’t do that with the girls/ why can they not enjoy x too?” Make him see the change and then encourage him to address why it matters so much to him.

He will probably calm down. Like everything else, reality will not totally match the picture in his head and he will adjust. I don’t get it myself but some parents do want a child the same gender as them. You say he’s a hands on and interested dad with the girls too. It’s a shame he doesn’t see that boys and girls can like all different things but perhaps as your children get older he will realise this. Maybe for example if he buys some ‘Boys’ games etc and the girls enjoy playing them too he will adjust his thinking.

My husband has this attitude we have 2 girls who get blamed for everything and a son who can do no wrong.
I have to make it up to my girls by treating them the same as husband treats our son.
I have always said in front of him and the kids when he's being unfair he might be your golden child but he's not mine just because he's got a VIPenis.

VIPenis that's exactly how they see it.

I wouldn't be able to raise my kids 8n this environment. It's so damaging. You might think you're mitigating the damage by overcompensating when it comes to your girls but all you're doing 8s feeding the dysfunction.