Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Agreed… nothing is more stressful as a mum than your baby crying and thinking everyone’s judging you. She will have been so upset already and to see another woman slagging her off would have been really horrible when she was already stressed.

I like kids and think it's important they learn how to behave in restaurants and parents have the right to socialise etc but in the right place.

Pizza Express, foodie pubs, Hungry Horse- all fine.

An expensive restaurant in the evening is not that place. I would be pissed off at noisy babies and kids if I was spending a lot on a meal.

It's not a time of day or type of restaurant thing for me. When mine were young I avoided meals out if they were at a stage where they were likely to disturb others- whether that was a pub lunch or evening restaurant. In the case of mine they were fine as babies and fine again after they'd turned 3 but the toddler stage they'd try to get down and wander off as they didn't understand they had to stay put. So I avoided meals out then as it was such hard work keeping them occupied.

“I went for a very exclusive”

Can't have been all that exclusive then really 🤔

Do learn better spelling and grammar deary, the second sentence is painful to try and read.

There are several in Newcastle.
Some are adult only after 6pm which I think is fair.

This thread making anyone else hungry? 🤔

I've never taken my DC out for a meal. But I've never been out since before I had them.

A meal out for 2 for £300 is normal?
spending £150 for dinner on a toddler is normal? Come on now.
Is this the special mumsnet world were everyone is in on £200k?

@Plsdiscuss I agree with you. That is a treat for yourself and tired howling babies are not part of the deal. It’s not the same as being at lunch in pizza express. Babies and toddlers want to be in bed at 9. I do find some parents deeply inconsiderate of their kids and other diners.
But also agree with PPs, you need to check with the restaurant these days.
That said, perhaps restaurants don’t have that as an official rule, as they’d expect parents do the right thing by their kids.

I have 1year old a baby. I would never take my baby out to eat at 9pm in an expensive restaurant to cry and sleep, slumped over in a highchair.
Who does that serve? Only the parents who can’t be arsed to arrange care. It’s pure selfish. And anyone here saying yeah. that’s normal and parents just like spending time with their kids/get over it - it’s not a nice way to treat your kid.

Entitled thoughtless family.
I would have asked to move or would have left. Not paying to listen to other children scream on my night off from my own children.

I chose to have mine in bed way before. I agree if I was to go out it would ruin my night.

As a mother of four, I 💯 agree

Personally, I wouldn't take my DC (2.5) to that kind of restaurant, at that kind of time.

She's an early riser so she is exhausted by 7pm. And she's slightly unpredictable. Usually she's pretty good, I'd say better on average than most of her age range in dinner scenarios. But not always, and I'd be unhappy paying that amount for my dinner if she decided today wasn't one of those days.

But, it's entirely up to other parents where they take their children and when. And when they go to bed. So you deserved that response from the mum, because you were rude. Don't go to family friendly places if you don't want children there. It's like people who are afraid of dogs who go walking in popular dog walking spots and then are upset dogs are there.

Believe me I am the least hoity-toity person in the world, which is largely why I would be so monstrously pissed off to have a £150 meal (I've never had one in my life!) ruined by someone else's badly-behaved children. It would be a once in a decade treat, if that.

I gave examples of Harvester/Wetherspoons as "training grounds", for want of a better phrase, because they're known for being family-friendly.

A Significant number of parents with young children today seem to feel others are delighted to be around their off-spring. A restaurant such as the one outlined by OP doesn’t seem to me to be appropriate for especially young children, who simply by being children spoil a dining experience for others.

I really hate seeing poor, exhausted, small children being dragged around when they should be in bed. YANBU.

You could use one.

Deal with your child then.

They have high chairs ( if this thread is even real ) so obviously they cater to people who have children

I agree with you OP. Kids need a consistent bed time and to sleep in their bed, not in high chairs at restaurants so the parents can have a night out. Or just left to cry because the parents are too busy eating and drinking to be bothered with them.

Who leaves a baby to cry in a restaurant for about an hour and then tells people to fuck off when they are unhappy about it? Well the sort of people who go on MN if half these replies are anything to go by. The irony is that none of them would probably even dream of doing it themselves - but they just love to judge the judgmental to make themselves feel superior.

Just don't take your children to places where they can't behave appropriately. And leave with them if they're unexpectedly being disruptive.

It's equally unacceptable to disturb someone's meal in a Harvester/Wetherspoons as it is in a more expensive restaurant. A meal out anywhere is a treat and a rare occurrence for many of us. Just because Jonty and Arabella are taken to Pizza Express on a weekly basis doesn't mean that my dad, who lives rurally and likes a Pizza Express once in a blue moon when he visits us, should have to put up with their antics.

And yes, a lot of people on this thread have suggested that less expensive eateries should be used to school children in acceptable behaviour presumably because they don't give a shit about the dining experience of people who eat in these places.

Very unlikely to be a very exclusive dinner if kids were there.
I’m afraid if you don’t want to see children, stay at home

If it's a family friendly restaurant, you need to accept that there may be young children/babies there. If you want an adult only restaurant, you need to seek one out. It is unfair to criticise the children's bedtimes. This could have been an occasion when they relaxed the rules. And not everyone has access/funds for a babysitter

I wouldn’t bring my toddler DD to a restaurant at that time. She would be in bed and so would I. I think though OP, your rant is a bit unfair. It sounds as though the kids at the next table were not overly loud with the 9 month old being quiet (slumped over as you put it), 30 minutes after arrival.

The other woman who you gestured to, would have been stressed and the last thing she needed was you and your dining partner looking, commenting and gesturing. Is this really the action of an adult? It sounds very teenager-ish.

TBH I hate dining out. I find adults talk way too loud and laugh like hyenas with very high-pitch giggles and booming voices. During the day, pair that with dogs that some cafes allow, and you have loud patrons and doggies making loud, booming noises, barking and ruining other people’s dining experiences.

Maybe it’s the adults that need to behave first and make sure their own voices are under control before pointing the finger at babies who are reacting to all the noise.

Bed at 7 for a 3 year old and a baby is not early!