Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Wow! You must’ve been dragged up.

*The thing is, no one would care about there being children in the restaurant if the children were well behaved. It's when they scream and cry that it's a problem.

A lot of people in this thread are saying that they have an equal right to be there and their money is just as good as the OP's, but no.

The difference is that the OP isn't disturbing anyone whereas the obnoxious parents and their kids are.

Everyone has an equal right to eat at a restaurant, but some people interpret that to mean they have the right to disturb other diners.

Lots of comments as well about children in foreign countries, but the culture is completely different. Children are absolutely welcomed in restaurants but they are expected to behave, in a way that so many British children can't seem to.*

Agree with all of this! Articulated better than my attempt.

Maybe they were on holiday @Plsdiscuss did that ever occur to you…maybe it was a one off for them! Ffs get a grip

I completely agree with this.

I went on a short flight a month ago (70 minutes). I took it specifically to overcome flight anxiety and was by myself for this purpose (am trying to prepare for flights with SEN DD this year). I was sitting directly in front of a young family with a baby (maybe about 6/7 months). The baby kicked my chair and pulled my hair, and wailed during takeoff. It of course was less than ideal for me, but my heart went out to the mother and I remembered my own girl at that age. Once in the air I turned around and smiled over at them. The mother was so stressed that I don't think she noticed. I wish I had spoken to her because I'm reminded about the unkindness parents, especially women, can encounter in the world when out with their children.

TLDR: no one is more entitled than anyone else in spaces open to the public.

How is that relevant?

If children have the same rights as adults with regard to restaurants, it follows that they have the same duties, which include not making a noise and spoiling the enjoyment of the other customers.

They actually are not . People are more tolerante . Often kids play with kids in other tables , I’ve had my kids being asked if they wanted to see the seafood in the kitchen tank and allowed to work a till , children asking to eat with my kids , last week on holiday I got to hold someone’s crying baby while they went to help a older child that fell down , this was in a very very expensive seafood restaurant ( way more than what the op considers upmarket here ) . People just accept children as part of society . In the U.K. we put them aside as a nuisance because we have become ( or maybe always been ) intolerant .

Yes I thought this when having afternoon tea in the Ritz and there was a baby screaming for ages. Family looked completely oblivious (and very wealthy…). I was pregnant at the time and just imagined how much of a flap I’d be in.

A baby crying on a plane is hardly comparable to a baby crying in a restaurant.

On the contrary, my parents took me with them everywhere. We travelled the world from being babies. If you do ever leave the U.K, you’ll see that the attitude towards families and children in this country is grotesquely backward and your opinions about where children should be and at what time would be laughed at.

Some peak mumsnet responses on here today. It seems some of you still have very old fashioned views…children should be seen & not heard, or maybe not seen at all and should all be in bed by 7pm sharp.
Christ.

@ttcat37 Don't think I WOULD be laughed at my love. I go to child free hotels in the Caribbean.

Let me guess you also don’t think kids should travel first class because they are so unworthy of anything nice

It's not about being unworthy, it's the fact that upmarket restaurants are unlikely to be a pleasant experience for tiny, probably exhausted children. Who then scream and cry, and make it an unpleasant environment for everyone else.

I don't care what time children are in restaurants, but if they start crying, screaming and disturbing other patrons out they go. As they can't do this themselves the parents have to take them out. Same as adults, if they act in such a way that it negatively impacts other patrons out they go too. Don't see why this is so difficult. Every paying guest has a right to peaceful enjoyment of their meal.

Until they can be quiet and civilised, No!

I wouldn’t like this but I would expect it. Unless the place says “no children” this will always happen nowadays with parents working longer hours etc.

I'm not sure OP suggests children must be in bed by 7pm sharp, but what she does suggest, which I think is entirely reasonable, is that you don't do a 7:30 dinner service with a 9 month old who is falling out of the high chair with exhaustion and a 3 year old that doesn't stop screeching. That's very different. A 7:30 start means, what, first course at 8:15? It means likely not finishing until gone 10 at least. I can't imagine any responsible parent thinks that is ok for a 9 month old? In all likelihood I'd ignore it with some silent judgement, but the problem here is that the actions of said infants proved mine an others points.

Chances are, bed time for these diners would have been hellish, especially doing it on a heavy stomach and slightly tipsy to the extent I doubt they'll do it again.

I have lived in many places in Europe. And I agree with part of your statement- however children are expected to behave themselves. This does not mean be seated and silent- but TO BEHAVE to respect others.

Sorry at that price a head it's reasonable to assume I'd get an adult venue

Would I take my kids to a £150 a head restaurant, no.

Would I gesture and make it clear that I had a problem with a woman who already had a screaming child to deal with, also no.

I think it’s a case of 6 of 1, half a dozen of another here TBH- you sound like you were demonstrating “performance annoyance” rather than just getting on with life. And FWIW I’ve had more meals ruined in naice restaurants over the years by the appalling behaviour of adults than kids.

I live in France.

I assure you that the kind of behaviour being described in this thread, and the kind of behaviour I have witnessed from entitled families in the UK - both as a diner and as a waitress - would be very much frowned upon here.

So would drunk shrieking adults, for that matter.

Thinking about it some more, I think what it comes down to is that food and mealtimes are taken very seriously and respected here. So children are taught from a very young age that when you are having a meal you behave like the adults behave. It's fine if children can't use a spoon very neatly yet, or if they're chattering away. But screaming and running around wouldn't be tolerated.

People tend to drink much more moderately on the continent as well, so getting plastered in a restaurant and disturbing other diners by shrieking loudly isn't the done thing either.

If you're a Brit abroad and you or your children are behaving like this, I can guarantee that the French people around you are thinking that this is typical of British people with no respect for food culture.

I have a 1.5yr old. Taking him to a fancy restaurant at 8pm would be my idea of hell and not somewhere he belongs.

We have taken him to very family orientated places or pub restaurants early in the day, out for breakfast a good bit. Where he can draw (on paper) play, etc.

He is usually asleep my 7.30pm by his own choice, he takes us by the hand and off to bed by then as he is wrecked from his day.

Silly me I suppose, but I would have thought a 7:30 reservation eliminated the possibility of 9 month old babies and 3 year old toddlers being around. The diners really put their kids and the other guests through it so they could have a nice meal.

What about economy? Less space and more people to annoy?

Business with a baby / child too small to be entertained by a screen is much easier. Space for them to play on the floor and lie back and sleep.

We have to fly to see family. I’m paying to make the experience more pleasant and easier for us. Why should that bother you?

Why? I generally eat between 10 and half past. That's when finish work. What's wrong with that?